Faultless Desire Enters My Soul

Poppa God, I am looking at You today with Ah as the Spirit within captures a fresh thought of how life gives me pleasures.  

My mind continues to fight the question of growing closer: the ‘how to’, the ‘what is’; the very yearning of its outcome, when touching into this kingdom that invites as you are.  

The knowledge of who I am too often forbids me to enjoy, as my love-sick heart yearns for exactly what is offered. I watch as another enters and I throw up the fight, “why did they get to go?”  Your kindness pushes me, trips me, tells me something is wrong with You; all the while running to this same acceptance for myself from Your raining streams of love.  

I find all sorts of emotions, right and wrong (?), but always this weightless love that covers me so that I am protected from falling so low You cannot get me up.  My loss has the reward of gratification and I do not seem to comprehend this principle.  

How will I ever fathom this unmerited fondness I find irresistible?  

Water of any other river has mud within its spaces; only the pure River that has touched my taste for perfect will be the vision of my passion.  

Outside I wonder without a jacket and its cold blanket leaves me in a chase to participate with my hearts inquiry.  Where are You?  What is on the menu for my day today?  

Probing into the sound of love that starts with a slight beat of a Heart I hear, as I examine with deep investigation this kingdom I surrender to.  Waves of pure River beat upon my soul with love notes as Your Heart has perfect rhythm.  

I turn my face to look.  
You stir my passion with something I have no words for, for how does one write of Pure?  

Faultless desire enters my soul.  

Your fixation that cannot be hidden from, exposes Your obsession as I see Your Eyes are looking at me.  

Do I run away?  

Do I try to explain?  

Do I give my excuses?  

I twist and turn as the very entity I was in pursuit of is now clear enough that I shrink.  

Why is my first response – “WHAT?”  Why do I lower to think You would have the same selfish reason for gratification of flesh I entertain?  

When will I understand this God of Compassion?