Oh God, How Do You Do It?

Oh God, You must often look upon Your children and break under the ignorance of our ways when we accept lies that we cannot make this world work for us. We are suffocated by day after days’ pressures and find only arms waving as if drowning in a sea, never to be known or rescued again.  My God, I experience the Mercy and Grace that follows me.  I experience the turmoil and then the Catching of Your Love’s Hand in abundance while awakening each day by the Knowledge of Your Blessings for my Assigned Duties from on High.  I have learned to find the Smile of Your Holiness upon me even when the dark has bombarded my mind with attempts to trap me in its lie. 

But God, my children… those of the utmost under my name that was given to me as jewels in a crown worn as a mother, grandmother, great grandmother.  Those adopted in under my heart beat of existence.  All Designed to be of my line as I am awake on earth to See You for who You are and walk according to Your Purpose Fulfilled.  I cry, oh God, I cry this morning for I feel burdened and broken while I watch the tearing of a life given me to enjoy.  How do You do it?  Oh GOD… HOW DO YOU DO IT…?  Help me oh God..!  A heart has been ripped as circumstances splashes its mud upon their soul.  Choking of too much traffic has made weakness in their steps and heaviness in their eyes.  God, I cry… Oh God, I cry.  My children, oh God..!  Come bring Your Armies and Burst through this darkness.  Come bring Your Power to Show the Explosion of Your Ways.  Wake up sleepiness and Arouse the Glory of Your Wonders in them.  Take my hand as I see things I cannot bear to see and Give Light to my eyes so that I am not weighed under its pain as You Cause me to focus on the Triumph of Your Victory over them.   Forgive me for seeing the dark and not looking for the Light.  Your Love is the Banner over them which will Succeed all battles they fall.   I am not their Creator… You are their Creator and today as my heart cries before Your Throne, I give thanks that You See what I see but Your Plan is much Bigger and takes them Across this river with Dance as the outcome.  You are All Knowing, All Seeing…. You are the I AM…!!!  I rejoice that all my children are under Your Wings of Grace and Mercy … just as Close and just as Loved as I.  Jesus Showed me this and I choose to believe…!  Amen.

How Do You 'Taste' the Lord...?

Sometimes I chase the things that this world has to offer with strong desires. 

So many things can be of so much pleasure.  Just the very thought of taste and flavors found on earth is delightful.  My mind usually always goes to ice cream which has always been my favorite delight. There is a song that the group I praise Him with sings that says, ‘oh taste and see that the Lord is Good…’  Sort of a strange expression and some may even ask, ‘how can you taste the Lord?’ But the Truth is... there is nothing of greater pleasure, NOTHING!  We've all tasted the Lord if we know Him, but I like to think that I have tasted the Lord many times when His Presence fills me inside-out.  I just take my heart and surrender to him.  That’s it…!  That is all there is to it…! THEN... all the unexplored Flavors of the unknown begin to Gather and Form to Make something Special just for me…! 

Lord, You are the Breath that I breathe; Air that fills my being with Your Wonder, for I seek deeper than my own wonders could ever go.  I knock upon the Creation of Your Kindness today and find my whole being in want; to come to You for a Treasured Visit.  May I see the Wonders of You as I express my desire to be with You.  I acknowledge that You are the Floor beneath my feet and the Ceiling above my head.  I declare that You are the sides that hold me together while I walk in and out and about.  I run and know my entire journey is in Your Love, Poured upon my Life as a Constant Place in time by Your Purpose.  I was Given a birth in Your Universe and then Shaken into the Form of You to Enjoy such far further Pleasures than my own ability has to find.  I am Held by Gravity of Your Power for Work of the Kingdom that has Come to my heart and Filled my soul.  I open the eyes of beyond me and reach out to see More, Your More, Your Obvious, Your Radiant Colors and Flavors as I set my thoughts into motion of praise and release the Seeds of Love's Passion.  A smile breaks across the skies of my countenance as the Warmth and Blanket of Your Existence Shines past all barriers I had of fear coming before You.  As I come Dance with my heart to Notes of Your Joys, I am overcome with Aromas that tell me there is an abundance of Flavors of Your Divine Existance for me.  Now my house, my temple, my body, is filled with the Smell of what You have Cooking and my attention is set on You.  No longer am I satisfied with such notions of earth offerings.  Now I am Moved by Your Insistence into a Kingdom of Higher Requirements and I sit in Your Waiting Room with my name upon Your Registry Book.  For One went before me to Make my Reservations and so I come simply because I was Called His.  I have only my surrendered heart as offering which is Your only requirement; all fees were paid before I got Here.  With Passion from You I am Encouraged to Feast on Pure Flavors passed Gates of Eternity.  Now and forever I am caught in thought over my next return to this Place where the Eminence of Smells and Flavors are of Greatest Spender!  Oh I Taste and I see… You are of the Grandest of Holiness which has no fault.  This now Owns the Guiding of my eyes for I Taste Your Love as I share Hearts with You, and it is Unsurpassed. Your Love fills the entrance of my soul with Flavors and Completes me.  Completes and Satisfies.  Oh I taste of You as I simply come before You and Your Table is Spread.  I offer my thanks and take pleasure in feasting with You today.  My cry will ALWAYS be... May I come again and again and again? 

Air I Breathe

Yesterday morning I started my morning by singing a song called Breathe.  Love the song.  It talks about God being the Air I breathe.  So, so powerful!  Today I begin thinking…in the natural we take a breath, then another breath, and yet another breath… all day long we inhaul this oxygen that keeps us alive; what an intriguing design God formed in Adam BEFORE He Breathed that Breath of Life in him that CHANGED a dormant lifeless body of clay into this obedient instrument that follows its brilliant mind given.  I can only imagine as we are still discovering the details of this complicated machine we call our body.  I took a little side thought about the Holy Spirit and its Breath of Life within me, its Work or Air that keeps me alive and CHANGED when I became ‘born again’ as His Breath was Breathed in me for new eternal Life.  Now Breathing within me all day long; and not only for the purpose of keeping me alive while on earth but to renew my mind/soul/heart through eternity.  WOW….! This Air brings Light to my path, His Oxygen (Power) to my mind that is becoming the image of Him.  Oh how awesome to think…. ‘Greater is He that is within me (His Air/Life/Breath) than he that is in the world.’   For in this world I breath the natural air to keep my body from decomposing but how marvelous and grateful for the Life (Breath/Air) of God that is my Source.  Today I take a DEEP Breath…. Not of this natural worlds, but of the supernatural… His Word and Spirit Forming and causing my heart to take on His Likeness.  Pumping His Blood throughout my whole being so that I see past the visual of a clay body’s ability but through His Eyes that resides in Fullness of Christ so that I can do all things today by His Name.  The body I have… just a shell, but the Spirit that Breathes in me…. oh my, the Temple of the Most High.  Father, I acknowledge Your Presence and Air within and I pray that my steps today honor what has been given me.  I give my thanks with a heart full of Your Love…!

Anxiety Might Surface, But I Am Protected

The weight of the world upon my shoulders…? Hum!  What a funny thought and yet how often I try to put that impossibility upon myself.  Yesterday’s anxiety attack has left me weakened as I search my Father’s Hand to continue His Will and Love designed to Carry me further into the Kingdom of His Purposes.  Fear had overtaken me as I swallowed a reaction to WHERE IS MICHAEL, my beloved husband?  I felt so sure he was in the house but I could not find him.  Safely on down the road he was traveling back to work.  In January of this year I found him at the bottom of a stairway, unconscious and body twisted.  Now life is complicated with changes but never deserted of God’s Love.  At times it feels like this accident happened yesterday and other times it feels like years and years ago.   

I have a son, well, I actually have three beautiful sons; but my middle child has this quality about him that somehow insists on things around him remain calm.  I can be ‘swimming with sharks’ as I recently described my feelings and he will come in and put a barrier around me and give me room to once again just enjoy the water while observing the sharks now on the outer side of my domain.  What a wonderful description of my Creator as we have been place ‘in the world but we are not of this world’.  I love Jesus’ prayer to His Father for “us” whom Jesus gave Him Self completely for, in John 17:

¹⁵I do not ask that You will take them out of the world, but that You will keep and protect them from the evil one. …

²⁰Neither for these alone do I pray [it is not for their sake only that I make this request], but also for all those who will ever come to believe in (trust in, cling to, rely on) Me through their word and teaching, (The Amplified Bible)

I am that one..!  The one that believes and trust in and CLINGS TO Him through His Word and His teachings!  And I will admit… this prayer is much needed in my life.  My eyes get all caught up in the confusion and fear of today’s event or even reach out to the tomorrow and respond to the ‘what ifs’ it might bring sometimes.  But with the burden I put upon myself, today I remind myself that Jesus prayed over me for this moment… when I find myself thinking I have been caught by this worlds trauma and it is my responsibility, He is protecting me and will romance me back to His Place to lay all burdens at His Feet and Dance with Him, for I am unable to carry the world or my own anxiety of this world.  The Barrier is Up around me by answered prayers of Him Who Loved me before I was born and I am released to Float in His Substance again.  For I have been placed ‘in’ this world but Jesus Prayed a barrier around me to stop the enemy’s bite for he no longer can come into my domain.  No wonder the soul dances as the Protection of His Goodness Lifts us to Sing once again.  How outrageous is His Love that has no end for my behalf.  I am Safe as I stay in His Word of Promise over me.  I am Protected, I am Free….!  I give my thanks with a heart sold out to Him, for His Safety…!  I accept the Prayer Jesus Prayed as He Lives in my heart.

Tears

Amazing Grace, I’ve been set free.  It rolls over and over and over in my head.  It amazes me how I can be so caught in drama and pain that I will allow it to suffocate the Grace that Pours within my spirit to Revive and Move me to the Mountain of God’s Grace.   When I find His Grace something inside begins to make a fresh Melody and this Substance hits dead center in my heart and seeps its Power to every pour of my body.  My eyes begin to open and my feet begin to take me.  Take me where He is and there I find once again the Intimacy I left to follow my own love.  As I open the door of my heart once again I wonder why I left.  What took me away from His Embrace?  I shake as I tremble in His Arms.  I call out that I will never leave again, never in ten million, million years.  His Eyes catch my tear and He Gives me a Smile that Melts all thoughts of my own ability to stay.  I know not what to say next so I just lay in this Presence for I find Safety Wrapped all around me.  I hear His Voice and I must weep again for over and over He Shares with His Warmth that His Love has followed my steps and watched as I painfully fell from sensing His Love.  I look into His Being for I do not understand this sort of Love.  Why watch me fall, oh why Lord, do You Watch a fall.  He Lifts me Closer so I can hear Him Whisper.  ‘Child, falling is but a lie received; you were never out of sight.’  I again realize I don’t understand so I just cover up with His Blanket of Love and snuggle in this Place.  I just want to talk for awhile.  I open my heart and take a breath to share.  My Lord, I have felt so lost as I listened to that which enticed me.  Why would I follow it?  What would I even think it would bring?  I took it to sleep with me and I listened as it devoured my joy.  I was awakened with its voice screeching its claws in to my heart.  And then before I knew it, I was lost in its grip.  I searched for a door and could not find it for once it had me outside it vanished to leave me alone.  I could not escape.  Where were You?  Were You screaming at me yet my ears failed to hear?  Was You Holding me while I ran?  Again, He Gently takes His Hands and Cups my face, Lifts my chin, and now I see a Tear in His Eyes.  I do not understand, my Lord, why are You Crying?  I see His Forehead rise as He tilts His Head as if He Knows what He wants to say but wonders if I will hear.  I ask again… why, my Lord, are You Crying?  He leans forward and gives me a Kiss on my forehead and then He Speaks.  ‘My child, before you were born I Painted the sky for you.  Before you were born, I Designed a Room to Exist in Time for your walk with Me.  I put Detail in your form that would Show you I Am.  I Cover your life with Protection and Safety with no void or failure.  I Raise heavens Song over each breath you take as your importance to me runs delightfully beautiful.  I Am for you.  I Am with Constance.  I Am with Eternity for you.’  I am speechless and I reach to take the Tear from His Eye. As I feel its Dampness on my finger I remain wondering… wondering… how can I understand this Love? 

I Need Help God...!

Suddenly I have found my self swimming in unknown and it feels like the only thing in the water is me and some hungry sharks.  I'm wondering how in the heck I got in the water in the first place.  But this morning I woke singing… yeah, singing.  I thought wow, I’ve got so much going on and I’m singing?  I loved it and after I took just a moment to ponder that I was singing, and wondering how I could be doing so, I continued as I thought, enjoy the moment.  I was right for as the day wore on I began to feel heavier and heavier with the weight of life’s issues pounding at my door.  I couldn’t wait to find this scripture as I knew it would hold the Life that I needed and as expected, it came to my rescue. 

James 1:2-8, Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. ….  

^5-8If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. (The Message)

Gosh, today… I DO NOT know what I’m doing…!  That’s an understatement.  Reading the Word through the day I found this scripture which gives me even more hope.

II Corinthians 4:2  Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open, the whole truth on display, so that those who want to can see and judge for themselves in the presence of God. (The Message)

I have learned and continue to learn to put everything out in the open.  Test and challenges do not feel like a gift when you open that door and it’s your guest, but I am realizing more all the time that it is exactly what opens heaven’s doors for me.  Challenges are easier if all is in the open.  So I am stumped, I am puzzled, I am troubled, I am confused, I am facing a big challenge and I only know to do as I read this morning …. ⁸If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. (The Message)

Father, I feel like a child today with a dirty face and I don’t know how I got dirty.  I am frightened, an unknown, afraid to come to the Sink for Cleansing as I may find more than I can handle.  I was in the Yard, playing with the Joys of Your Goodness and suddenly someone announces I’m all dirty.  With a scream I hear my name being shouted to all the others who put me in this spotlight and the stares have frightened me into a shy state of puzzled guilt while I remain paralyzed of accusations that are confusing.  I don’t understand nor can I see.  I feel like a coward or one from a slum, for I do not understand where the light switch is to turn away the darkness and bring in the Light as I am declared shameful.  I look into all the corners I can think of and still come short of knowing what happened?  I hear a sound declaring but I do not find its truth.  I hear a cry shouting but I do not find the pains source.  I can accept a sheer gift of test and challenges so that I am forced into seeing true colors but without Your Help, I am lost to make steps.  I know Your Voice and it is the Heart Beat of my Life.  Without it I cannot breath.  I have heard Your Song within me and I dance around its Pleasures.  I may wonder off into a thorn bush as a child so sure of her Keeper’s Watchful Eye, but always with the confidence of Your Arms of Strength Grabbing me before destruction takes me.  I do not know what I’m doing but I am encouraged and making the only step I know at this time to remind my self that You Love to Help me.  Help me, Keeper of my soul.  Lead me to the Fresh Spring that will Wash Away and correct wrong I am accused of with Your Eyes of Passion and Your Love as the Foundation of this building.  Speak to me in the Voice I am familiar for it brings Light to my Path.  I rejoice in Your Purity and marvel at Your Right Standing.  I know that I am the Righteousness of You through Christ but walking out the transforming of my mind takes the Word of Truth and a surrendered life to Your Loving Kindness.  There is no other Way but You and so I look Up from where all Help comes and ask that You Help me find Truth.  I place my heart under the Covering of Jesus as He Takes me to Find You. Amen

Home With Mom & Dad

If you know me… or if you meet me for even as little as ten minutes, you have probably found out that I’m an Okie.  If you don’t know it by my speech, which I get teased about quite often, you know it because I’m talking about home.  It is a place to be safe and talk just about anything you want, you just need to boldly spill and they are there to hear with such a loving heart as a parent.  The door is always open in my parents home, now 83 and 81 years old.  What a blessing this has spoken to my heart as I travel unknown roads that my heavenly Father has taken me.  When I was young, my dad always had something up his sleeve to give his kids to help enjoy home as it was often said of him, ‘Is your dad ever going to grow up?’  He was a mechanic so ‘inventing’ gadgets or modifying good deals he bought was in constant supply and many times to our advantage.  They owned 40 acres so space was also a luxury we enjoyed in our little community.  My mom loved people and her heart was focused on God and bringing ‘people’ to Him.  Many, many times I was instructed NOT to open that bedroom door as I enjoyed the freedom to play, but she was praying.  I would often hear the tears and my name.  Not to be surprising, when guest or friends came to join us, It was not uncommon at all for her to ask, ‘Do you go to church anywhere?’  Sometimes my dad would bring people home for lunch unexpected as he would break from working on their vehicle at his shop up town, and always, always… the question of church was popped at some point before they left the house.  Our family of eight did not see much money pass among us but we sure saw the arms of care reaching out.  Sundays were filled with company as we would bring friends over to ‘play’ in the adventures of the Ford Family.

Today I am reflecting on Love taught in my home as a child and if you relook at the picture I enclosed you can see it still continues today.  I can look around and see it in such small portions in some families and it breaks my heart.  I am of age now myself and realize the abundance of love available but so little shared and even challenged myself to do better.  For the selflessness sometimes Love requires is tough.

 

I read this morning in the Message Bible…

 ^17-18God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ's. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

 ¹⁹We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.

 ^20-21If anyone boasts, "I love God," and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won't love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can't see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both.

This scripture seems obvious but many people can honestly say they had no example or did not experience this as their hearts and life were maturing as children. This is where the Gift of Christ takes on such a beautiful meaning.  As faithful and loving as my parents were, they could still not ‘save’ me from my own life of destruction.  If I would have had the most perfect model parents that were ever birthed, I would still have a lost soul outside of the redeeming Blood that Jesus shed for me.  I surrender (He is my Parent) and I confess my need (talk to Him about my problems) that Jesus is my Lord (I no longer want to be in control) and find Perfect Love (the example and Gift of Love) so I can be a part of His family.  If I were the best of people or the worst, I must go to the same Cross for my Drink of Salvation.  I am overwhelmed with the Love that the Father has provider for He has made it known and available to all walks, all nationalities, all situations, all styles of people.  No one is left out.  Jesus loved us FIRST, so now we know Love.  I want to walk in that Love and learn of it every day for I am still a child of 57, maturing in the things of God as I wonder about playing, while Jesus Prays for me.  Calling my name, Shedding tears for my sake, Watching my steps and Teaching me today how to pass on His Love.  The best part of this walk… His Promise that we are First Loved and then required to love; but FIRST we are LOVED.  I am so thankful for being Loved.  It is the Greatest of all Gifts and its mine and ALL that call upon His Name…!  He is so Amazing..!!!!

Charlotte

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