Found From My Own Drowning

Father, oh God of my soul…

I weep this morning for I am

so Found.

Found by Your Love,

Found by Your Caring Hand,

Found from my own drowning. 

I have been Found by Love’s Gentle Care

I ran to;

as tears drop faster than I can write,

I am forever grateful. 

For how could I of ever Found myself?

Oh no, You Found me!

You Found me lying in a puddle of despair,

Your Found me struggle to live. 

You Found me in moments of my life

in painful cries that speak to You. 

But You Found ME! 

My Loving God, I cry, I weep,

I am so grateful!

I was bleeding inside

but You put a stop to its disease. 

You Sent Your angels to Cover the wounds. 

I am forever Threaded

with a Garment that Seals

every opening

for Your Love has Come. 

I shake for I See

Your Mercy has been the Moisture

that ran from my heart. 

I sing tears

as You Gather them

for a Garment about Your Heart. 

I was so lost but now Found. 

How does one stop tears

that take this Thought

from Your Love Come down. 

 You have Touched my heart and I was Found. 

I join with many

who have lived to Know this Place. 

Violently is the fight

to Stand Here

as flesh dies a slow death,

but Sweet is the Surrendered soul who lets go.  

I am even now in this moment

being Kissed by Your Love so Abundant. 

Kisses that Touch

as my tears roll

to show ME

that it is You that Comes

from eyes so tuned to Your Heart. 

You are Sweet,

so Sweet to all of my emotions Given

to Teach me of You. 

The Wind of Your Love Blows so Gently

when I am being Carried in its Current.  

I want to build a Tabernacle and Dwell here forever. 

I want to sit before Your Throne

and cry Holy, Holy, Holy

in Unison with the creatures before You. 

My soul cries out for this Place

to be my eternal destiny. 

When Love Comes

in such Extravagance like this,

I have no strength to do anything but Stay. 

My tears are a fountain of respect and ah

of all the

where, what, and how

of my flesh’s pity. 

I am Moved to See what I did not see. 

I am Wooed to Rest from all I was trying to rest from. 

I am allowed to Cry for all the things I was crying from. 

Truth being Your Love Rules

Saturates all the stings and worries I had. 

See my tears,

See them oh God,

they are my passion for You. 

Your Passion for me has Risen so High,

I can only weep back

with knowing I am Loved so Greatly. 

I cannot give You anything You lack,

but my heart I give

with such excitement. 

I cannot stop crying. 

Like a river that cannot find its end,

I am in awe of this Place

and continue to run with Your Current. 

I will sleep in Your Current

as Your Dreams and Visions become mine,

wake in Your Current

as Your Foot Steps Play out in me,

I will rest in Your Current

that Takes me to this Place of Eternal Love. 

Swiftly You Flow so that no one is lost. 

Pushing me with Force

that creates an unbelievable battle

to fall from Your Grace. 

Your Violent Heart

that Beat the enemy

has been Given to me to Live by. 

When the enemy tries to move me

from Your Current,

a Violent Force Given me

will battle against him. 

Your Love has Conquered death, hell and the grave. 

Found

to See Your Beauty,

I surrender all. 

You have First Place.

Hanging Over a Cliff With Threads Holding My Safety

December 6, 2011

Things get worse?  Looking at life on earth it doesn’t appear that it will get better.  I’m just asking. Can I not stay in one place?  I am so rattled and find myself thinking, 'This is a God thing?'  I can’t hold myself together… this was already proven and Jesus was sent. 

Father, I am Your child.  I sleep tonight with that tied to my heart where NO MAN can go.  It is my Name, my Seal of eternity now and then.  I feel like I’m hanging over a cliff with threads holding my safety.  This sort of makes me know I must be secured with the largest of cables… I don’t know.  Looking back I can always see more than my screams wanted, I got victory because You Life had thousands of angels fighting for me.  I am weak of body but I am not even bent with unsure trust.  I just know that my mind is pleading for understanding and assurance. 

December 7, 2011

I woke this morning so puzzled.  The Peace in my heart was actually puzzling…!  I had slept all night without a single stir.  I wasn’t sure even how to respond to it but then I read my thoughts last night before I went to bed and find His Love was Fighting… angry for me… sending His Host to pull off the racket that troubles my soul.  I reread…I sleep tonight with that tied to my heart where NO MAN can go.  This is tremendously an Anchor to my heart.  I only know to sigh WOW. 

I am encouraged now to truly search my heart and allow God, who is Big Enough, handle the troubling mind that took place… I will continue with boldness of KNOWING His Love is BIG ENOUGH.

Father, please take joy and not sorrow in what I am about to say.  That is my heart… not to cause You sorrow and yet if I trap myself to that sort of thought, I am a slave to ignorance.  My weakness trips me from knowing how to pick myself up.  Something inside cries that it is easier to stay on the floor; stay down where I can’t be thrown down for I am already there.  Who I think I am often keeps me in denial and in true blindness.  I’m always asking the wrong questions.  I want to awake and ask the questions that will cause my eyes and heart to see clearly Your Review.  When my eyes are truly opened, I will not even be recognizable by others.  That is okay, I am ready to rid myself of the picture I try to show.  Rejection from my Gift is so confusing.  If a Gift is Given, I guess I thought it would be mine to grow with.  Did I treat the Gift wrong?  Did I not serve my Gift?  I have not understood.  I have read in John… ‘If you are really blind, you would be blameless.’  I’m I blind that I am not really blind?  Did a sheep stealer steal my Gift?  Was I not looking?  Did money draw my Gift away?   Are rocks being thrown at me for Trusting You?  I am Yours, Your daughter.  The same… You with me, You in me, You my Completeness.  But death knocked on Gift’s door and it cried it was done, finished with being my Gift.  Is this for Your Glory.  Are You allowing death to be in Gift’s heart for time to Show the Magnificence of Your Glory?  Should I take a nap, Rest while I wait?  Death has begun to stink and I want to attack Your Choice to allow stink to move in.  I Trust You and I’m running… running,… running… running!!!  I have my eyes Fixed upon You as I have seen Your Work so vividly Wondrous.  I’m removing the stone that hides my pain.  Do what is needed to cause me to Believe with Higher Amazements.  Bring Life back to Gift so a whole nation can be gathered under You in this Life.  Questions are asked because Answer is needed.  Fragrance will be sacrificed as souls see the Kingdom.  Children, men and women will place hearts before Your Steps because of eye witness account of seeing the seed buried to reproduce Your Life.  Recklessly Service will be displayed as the Voice of Your Glory is Lifted up.  Forever Light will be lifted up as this Light Dwells within.  Heal the blindness.  I am not afraid to be kicked out.  I want Your Acceptance, not the acceptance of man.  I do NOT refuse to take in You.  I Command the Father’s Heart as Truth so I will be a part of what Father is doing.  Your Pattern of Service is mine.  I wash the feet of Gift.  I receive who I am, to Reveal Your Glory.  Forgive me for asking WHERE ARE YOU GOING as if I don’t have Trust.  I’ve been with You and Your Words are in me.  My Work is to take others to the Father as Your Glory is Shown.  ALWAYS Truth is staying with me.  Alive is my Reward for keeping Your Commandments.  Friend, Remind me, those things that bring Conformation.  Remind me again that the enemy that steals has no hold on me because of Your Truth.  I am inseparable because I am Home in Your Love.  Your Joy is my Joy.  My life is on the line for Gift.  You have Chosen me as a Fruit Bearer.  I don’t want to be loved by the world, I want Your Love.  God Signs are such a delight of my eyes.  Confirmation of all This is explicit.   Friend is here, within me, exposing the error of sin.  Righteousness comes from Above.  Trial and Conviction is our Salvation.  Guiding me to all Truths to make sense about all that happens.  It will Honor Father with Great Joy like a river overflowing.  It is sad when the world throws a party, but Joy that cannot be robbed is from the Asking of Father His Truth.  God, oh God, I fall Deeply in Peace for You have Conquered the world and it’s anger towards me.  To every DETAIL… EVERY DETAIL of Your Work, COMPLETE in me.  The Message is Your Life on Display in me.   Your Watch over me is without fault.  I join Your Word and the enemy has no hold.  I believe in You so that I become one in mind with You, to Show Father that You and I are exactly as Spoken.  I drink The Cup Given me and follow Your Love.  Your Teachings is Above.  I am one of Your disciples.  I died according to Your Rule so that I Live in Your Kingdom.  You are not guilty of any crime, ever!  You are my King.  I am Your Garden that Your Love was buried in to.  I hold all that Your Death was about and also the Resurrection of that Death which Conquered all sorrow and pain.  Death and Resurrection Ascended to Father so that my spirit has Life Eternal and Life Abundant here upon the earth!  I received Friend within my Garden to Guide my eyes and heart to all Your Truths.  I throw my nets overboard to pull in more Truths then I can contain.  Then I eat and count my Blessings with great Joy.  Alive, I see You Alive in me.  I love You and carry Your Word and Work.   To my own earthly death, I follow You.  Writing down so much Love, like a Honeymoon never written.  I wear Your Love as my story…! 

Be Angry ... ?

“Be angry, and do not sin” Eph 4:26 (MSG)

Anger is a very difficult emotion that makes yourself, as well as, others often uncomfortable.  Coming home from my parent’s home the other day I had a very interesting conversation with the unquestionable Love of my life so Real within my heart.  So intriguing was the conversation I decided to write it out.  Pondering this act so disturbing, I hardly had the thought before me when a Strong inner Response came Clearly, “Anger is a CLOSE Step towards Me.”  This really threw me, and without understanding I just wrote it down.   The Statement hardly formed a correct sentence to me, let alone making sense.  Then, as I saw the Statement before me, I could see Anger almost like it was a person or substance and it was walking towards God.  Very interesting, I thought.  Then I heard Teacher say “True Anger is your weapon against satan.  Without it you are nothing.  Ohhh, now this began to make more sense as I thought of much Anger towards the devil and how necessary it is to speak against wrong (the enemy’s way).  Teacher says, “Never smile at the enemy, NEVER EVER.”  The Statement seemed so hoarse, yet I could hear Teacher’s matter-of-fact stern Word accompanying the Warmth of His Breath, but with such a no-wavering directive.  I could feel the breaking of my own thoughts beginning to catch sight of anger in a New Concept as I struggled to evaluate Anger as a positive, and not the negative taught so strongly.  Experiencing rejection to a critical position, Anger said to be my fall, I am most curious to hear more. 

I reflected on how Anger has taken me to an edge that gave Might to weakness, Courage to fear, Surrender to what is Right rather than what is wrong.  I began to be inspired… without Anger, how could change be made?  As life hands you wrong, do we get angry?  Do I “BE ANGRY”…?  Frightfully, I began to consider what I had lost because of Anger… have I lost it forever?  I was rejected, abandoned for standing and becoming ‘Angry’ to something destroying two lives. Do I bow under and say it was wrong to be angry about that?

I began to have more questions as I thought of the scripture that reads…

Matthew 5:44 (MSG)
But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.

I argued the point in my thinking… doesn’t this mean to NOT be Angry… just love, pray, etc your enemy. 

But then the Beauty of His Loving Heart comes to Give…. Teacher says, “NEVER mistake a soul from the enemy whose complete purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy you.”  From this I could see again like a division of a person.  Like each person was two… their soul which God puts a Great Mighty Price upon and Loves, and the enemy that speaks to this soul.  I could see the soul of man as God’s Treasure, but the enemy of that soul was indeed the enemy to all and you should NEVER smile at the enemy. 

Teacher says, “Anger is not what some think.”  I wrote this down and then waited for I did not know what was going to be told, only what I had thought in the past.  I waited to hear New.  Teacher says, “A better way to think of Anger is disagreement.  Jesus/God/Holy Spirit are always 100% in DIS-agreement with the devil.  Even when he speaks my Truth, his intensions are in disagreement with My Heart.”  I really liked the simple understanding of disagreement as an Anger explanation.  I wondered then about the scripture…

Eph 4:26 (MSG)

“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,

I pondered the thought… doesn’t that scripture read ‘BE ANGRY’…. Hummmm ‘BE ANGRY’..!!! ???  Wanted to look it up to make sure.  Then I wondered… so then how do you NOT SIN????  What does that mean? 

Teacher says, “When your disagreement (anger) becomes lined up and in the same intension as the devil – then you’ve slipped over into sin while being angry / disapprove.”  Wow..!  I thought, when my intension are to ‘show them a thing or two’ or ‘get revenge’ or ‘cause harm-not good’, etc… that is SIN.  But Anger itself was a must. I was so amazed as I thought of so many times being Angry against wrong, against another’s wants or souls desire, but NOT sinning… just so Angry at wrong and making that stand.  I knew this would be a great changing in my heart and Strength to better understand Anger.  Not to allow wrong intrude and say it has rights to my heart.

Teacher continues to say, “Real anger will cause a soul to want changes and push for it.  That is My anger, it pushes for Right. That is why the scripture  - child against parent, etc., disapprovement (anger) will cause a heart to run to me.  I Am the Truth.”

I remembered only slightly this scripture and looked it up when I got home.  I’ve written out this amazing scripture…

Matthew 10:34-39 (MSG)

Christ Brings Division

  
“Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

I could see how anger/disagreement comes between family members and/or friends and this could cause friction but if open to receive the True Discipline of God, each could watch for the enemy’s tricks to deceive and bring death FOR each other, not against each other.  “Anger is a CLOSE Step towards Me.” 

I Could Run At Times Like This

Poppa, I could run at times like this –

times when the heart shatters,

replaced by items of many earthly trinkets,

lost and tossed aside for its abundance. 

But Poppa, where would I run? 

Your Sweetness just follows

extra close for adjustments

to create within my mind

my need. 

Like a hunger pain

that sounds

for my best interest to react. 

Needs…

my needs

that lift my eyes

to Your Face of Passion;

taking my life to Beautiful

as You Show me

I am of more importance

than what pushed my heart

into crashing. 

I am here in the Waiting,

not running,

but in this moment

where I See Your Ways are Wise. 

Your Arms Reach to my heart

to Assure I am worth

more than a million treasures,

and never could a mass be high enough

to cause You to look aside my heart. 

Though tears form

and I don’t understand Your Ways,

You Hold all my pieces

and I am confident

the Assembly of New

is my reward

at the end of each day. 

I stand still,

I watch ,

I smile as Pure Love

Gave up the Center of it all for me.    

Victorious Over the Enemy's Scheme to be Praised

NJesusN
 if all the kingdoms of this world were handed to You,

Ohhh… but it was,

yet You refused to bow and worship

to accept the world from the hands of the enemy.

idididid

 

Jesus, it was Yours
before You came (?)

but You wanted more...
You wanted it to be mine    n

So tempted (tested and tried),

You were led into the wilderness
 to reveal God’s Heart for me. 

Jesus,

the enemy had amazing kingdoms;

he showed You their splendor, yet you turned them ALL down

to Save me

To bring me to a Place with Father

for eternal Life. 

You gave everything! 

You were weakened by hunger and thirst,

not tending to Your own needs but only where Spirit would lead;

knowing You were the Son of God

yet refusing to test God as if God could be tested by man. 

this AMAZES me

Moving hour after hour, minute by minute,

to speak only the Words that would show me Father’s Heart

for my soul to keep. 

Victorious
over the enemy’s scheme

to be praised by the Son of God...! 
 

I, now child of the Most High God, speak with this Victory You Provided

I will NOT praise the enemy

nor accept any kingdom or game he has to offer;

but rejoice in all things that are God’s Promises to me,

For I am Wrapped in Your Glory,
I wear the title of His daughter.
His Kisses are upon my forehead,
His Heart Holds my heart with Gladness.

I joyfully follow Spirit’s Lead  

and Sing among the worshippers

assigned to Color the Air that make up His Kingdom. 
My eyes are only for Him
for what a great Price of Love. 

I give complete abandonment of heart

not after my own needs

but to this Name
Spoken
and Given

for Protection and Life in eternity for me,

Your Name,

Jesus (((((HUGS))))). 

Yes, Your Name,

Your Gift of I Am over me. 

I worship You only, for You are my Lord to the end. 

You have Set Your Love upon me.

Matthew 4:8-11 (The Message)

    ⁸Again, the devil took Him up on a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and the glory (the splendor, magnificence, preeminence, and excellence) of them.

    ⁹And he said to Him, These things, all taken together, I will give You, if You will prostrate Yourself before me and do homage and worship me.

    ¹⁰Then Jesus said to him, Begone, Satan! For it has been written, You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him alone shall you serve.

    ¹¹Then the devil departed from Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him.