Tears That Speak The Unknown

Take all the jumbling thoughts I have in my mind Poppa, forgive those that question You; that search for prof as if the worldly mind can understand Spirit.  Forgive me for missing so often Your song that sings to me the abundance of compassion and I cry thinking it is chains to tie me to my sorrow. Confused I sort through my thoughts as if I could pick and choose night and day.  Your glory falls and I tumble until Spirit comes to rest upon my heart that I fear not.

Spirit flow freely as I turn my heart to eyes watching for what is happening around me.  As Your love continues to rush in, melting hardness and bitterness, I rise above ground that thinks it can hold me down.  My soul that struggles, loses the jabs that tailored themselves specifically to my weaknesses.  Circling, Your Face strikes its stare as I rise and fall in trials and tribulations; taking me to a kingdom made as Jesus lives and breathes in me.
 

What are tears, Poppa, during these times?  Why does this flow so often take me to this reaction?  Is it that I feel the hurt of my broken heart or might it be I am experiencing Your broken heart?  Is it power that signals emotions above a walk about with earthly pleasures as my consumption?   Will I ever be able to stand as Spirit renews my mind, as my heart watches Your work?  Have I yet to see the rise of my walk?

As I am drawn into Your love, tears smile upon my face as all my body rises to be soaked in abundance.   I know only to continue to watch.  For I am at rest that Spirit has a pull richer than any question or search this worldly mind can understand.  Broken to come, broken to be unfolded and march through a kingdom that sets before me a pathway.  Broken to see Your glory that blinds me to be guided only by Teacher.

So Spirit swirl with Your wind as quickly and extravagant us You only know I can gain.  Ignite Your fire under my love-sick soul to burn as a red fiery sight, as love flows with sparks that crack and snap while I walk.  Take my breath and may it fan this flame as my thoughts wither under the repentance of my souls return to see Your Face.  Tears that speak unknowns, be the strength that heals all hidden sins into light as if purifying the finest of gold. 

Spirit join me in the instruments of praise from universe to universe, heaven to earth, east to west… the forever song joined by saints and angels.  Spirit join my conversation spoken and heart unspoken of His love to the winds that chime beauty as unspeakable and so full of glory.  Weave who I am to the canvas of His song of truth.  Cause my voice, my heart to be what contains the echoes of Holy that lives within me. 

Move mountains, move valleys, stretch oh soul, for the King takes me to dance in His kingdom brought through Jesus, my deliverer… to the Song of all songs.

Logic Gone

Hi Poppa, 

I’m so tired and yet I am so fulfilled 

from abundance of  Your love 

that has washed over me recently.  

So fresh 

is the pictures of Your face 

before me as life swiftly embraces me 

with opportunities to find You calling.  

I’m running, 

running to this fire 

that can open me up in a split second 

and then mend what spills 

by the wonders of Spirit’s voice 

just as fast.  

Love fascinates, intrigues me 

with such extreme; 

I push with all I've got 

to get there.  

Pushing with all I've got

because I've yet to learn 

the art of achievements 

to rest in this race worth my life.  

When love faces me so close 

I feel its breath,

I lose all logic 

on how it came, 

just that it is here 

and I am wading it its substance.  

Moving about has this simple song 

vibrating within 

that steals all my wants 

and packages them 

into an enormous explosion of joy.

And I wonder....

How did I get here?

Logic gone!

But I'm changed and refreshed.

Summoned By Royalty

A King has called 

and I swing open my desires, 

running to the embrace of One who calls.  

Summoned by Royalty 

to the city of a great King, 

I rise up and come.  

His voice has lifted 

to blow a trumpet 

for this call to be heard 

loud within my heart.  

Hear, oh soul, 

hear and giggle; 

for His choice calls your name.   

Watching are His subjects, 

angels who have curiosity of my life, 

my moves, 

my response.  

Cheering is heard in heaven 

as I lift my eyes to answer His love.  

Building joys upon joys, 

I experience amazement 

of awakened life.

 

Where was all this joy moments ago?  

Where were the visions this heart now sees?  

Was this sound whispering 

to my deadened heart, 

yet its power 

able to explode the thickest of walls?  

Oh heaven come to earth.   

Set Your testimony 

with power within me.   

I yearn, 

I plead; 

I beckon to consume 

all that wisdom will allow.  

As my being 

kisses this marriage, 

this union of salvation; 

my sons will be touched 

by the force love insists upon.  

Dry bones within us 

will live 

for life cannot be taken from Spirit. 

Rescue me 

to recognize You Poppa, 

by the Name Jesus (kingdom) 

left for me 

to touch and feel 

as Spirit blows.  

Oh heaven, come!  

Shaken In Piercing Love Attacks

Reach to all the hiding places, Lord.  

The places that I try so hard 

to hide from You.  

As I walk so softly to these nightmares, 

I know that Spirit 

has my hand 

and I can be healed of these unknowns.   

You are so mighty 

that You can heal 

what I don’t know, 

while I walk not knowing 

it was walking 

I was unable to do.  

Lost, 

I search for only my eyes to be open, 

to love that fills this hunger 

You created in me.   

Watching Your work 

in me 

causes me to breath differently; 

slower, 

more focused to life 

rather than some expected end.  

Your work gives this disturbance 

of my empty soul 

a shock that turns all bitter into sweet.  

With every nip that goes through me, 

squeezes me to take notice, 

I rush to the next nibble 

I might find if I dare to look.  

What are You doing, 

my soul responds?  

What did You say, 

my heart questions?  

Why did You come, 

my mind tries to keep up?  

When does this change my soul 

to the rich eyes of understanding?  

Created in me 

is this love for Your Name, 

the Kingdom Jesus brought, 

and yet the fight 

to bring in my trash, 

my dirty clothes 

to the city of Pure.  

Forgive me Beautiful One 

as I look upon such wonder, 

set me as an example 

of Your passion 

by allowing me to see freedom 

in giving up my life.  

My eyes open 

to see the fire 

that burns upon the earth.  

Oh that I give You all glory 

that I might be 

in the mysterious grove of passion 

that takes a hold of my heart 

so what I see 

is the un-matched sounds 

of Holy while it works in me.  

Shaken with piercing love attacks, 

I roll in the softness 

of reestablishing the foundation 

of Your purpose for mankind.  

The east is not far enough 

from the west 

to show how large 

Your love is for me.  

Asleep in the Rest 

of Your care, 

I place my days 

for the total maximum 

I could obtain 

from Your eminent friendship.  

For I am a wondering pilgrim, 

set on staying 

inside this kingdom of Jesus’ Name.  

Unfolding is the Spirit 

that sing in this kingdom 

that rescues me 

from all harm (my own disorders) 

and washes my feet 

that I walk 

in His pure life given.

Do You Really Want To Waste Your Love On Me

How grateful to know my own love could NEVER exceed God’s love and yet ridiculously how many times I measure God’s love according to how I love another.  For surely God ‘would do’ this or He ‘wouldn't work' this way - completely operating from my own conclusions.

I must remind myself; for I fail desperately in loving those assigned to walk in my path; creation He loves..!

And I do not speak such foolishness to work into some sort of condemning place for mankind but to ponder the wondrous love that reaches so far past my own love or what I have seen and analyzed as love. With great desire I plead to understand more of His ravishing love and allow it to pour upon me, for only then can I give freely.  Each portion of His love that imparts within my heart is potential for abundance to change me and those I wish to love. 

Oh to lift up my soul and experience what it does inside and all around me. 

To humbly cry.  Cry for whatever it takes to wait as love develops, even through my impurities, the cracking crumbling of my hardened heart for His hand to mend. 

Be still oh my soul.  Peace reach to the fallen heart that whines for unhealthy love of mankind and  turn me inside out so that I am open for real love.  With the greatest stretch I look for Hope.  Seeking Hope’s face to hold my arms too often weary. 

Hope, take away the voice inside that wants divine love wrapped up in pretty man made smiles, please; as I scream out of control…don’t forget to mention all I have faithfully called ‘good’. 

But miraculously, even on this edge of insanity, His heart of spotless pure motives, sweep in with precious love rules of unmerited, undeserved grace to cover all my missing marks, with His assortment of perfect discipline.

Deeper and deeper insight walks to pick me up, shows me how ‘I’ am singled out with the dynamics of every cell in my body, this love that proves it will not remove its eyes from me.

Captured by tender thoughts, 

yet while I am being carried 

I caution God, 

“Do you really 

want to waste 

Your love on me?”  

Again I measure my worth according to how I might love even my deepest loves.  Easily I have concluded how one could get along without me. 

It’s as if then I see 

His tears begin to form 

for the loss He feels.  

Now, I've done it…!  But I dare to take a second look, He remains in a stance of waiting.  Somehow I feel He will wait day and night for me. Really, I think? 

Oh God, REALLY, day and night? 

I begin to  see a new picture.  A picture of His son Jesus, there on the cross waiting to die.  Hanging in pain with hope for me.  That "Hope"  I keep looking for, was taken to extreme so I could carry its power in every situation I would cross.  Hope for now, hope for my future, hope for my children, hope for the eternity spoken of for me.  

Hope, precious hope that enters a bride in waiting, as her eyes frantically watch all details to be its best within her creative heart and mind.  

The joy of hope begins to swell as love plants itself within the soil of my heart; maturity to being born again into His kingdom. 

My prayer changes…!  Come, oh Holy One, come and show me more about steps to the arms who longed for me before I was born.  It isn't about me any more, it is about His love.  This heart stopping pain where I cannot believe His love so deep, disappears.  His most precious gift was sent and hope stirs all my senses to hear each plea made for me to be lead to His lap that He might cuddle me in riches and rejoice in His creation of me.  

Hear me sing to the dance of such love, I am Yours…!  This hope is Your Hope in me!

Dance is Jesus Thoughts Turned to Music

Sweet Lord, 

I want to dance 

Your grace tonight. 

I want to dance the song 

that is in my being 

to the lifting of my soul.  

Actions that lock me down, 

be released 

to follow not after my own good 

but with the Name I love 

upon my lips 

for who You are forever more.  

Jesus, see my eyes dancing 

with my gaze turned 

to include my smile 

as my thoughts become music 

I respond to.  

As the beauty of what I hear 

keeps my moves rising, 

I hold the power of this kingdom 

running its aroma 

to fill me body, soul, and spirit. 

Your love kisses 

my emotions 

to assure my dance is enjoyed 

as You seek the earth 

for those joining in truth 

to declare this perfect song.  

Skipping my feet 

with the run 

of a million sounds about me, 

I dance to a few here and there 

that speak love to my ears.  

Grabbing paths that connect all things 

to the center of this attraction, 

the Lord Jesus Christ, 

I stop to breath in such a sight.  

I fold my hands about my chest 

and open them upward 

to dance my vow 

to love You forever 

with all that I can 

and as often as I might.  

The stereo of blended tunes 

bless the stage of this worship dance 

formed from thoughts of Jesus.  

Tears shine upon sparkled dance floors 

as servants breaks chains 

and join the dance 

that comes from death to life.  

Hear the music, 

the sounds of His Name 

from the core of hearts 

surrendering to the forever God.  

See the dance of saints 

as beauty floats 

from their mouth 

and bounces from soul to soul.  

Songs of what Jesus has done 

spring forth 

and its melody causes feet to dance.  

A mighty roar waves about the sky 

as it holds tremendous power of praise.   

Hearts forget themselves 

and become focused 

on what is pouring from Father’s heart.  

Dancing is a response 

from Jesus thoughts 

turned into music. 

What I Search For

Poppa, going deeper and deeper to You, Your identity, Your deity; walking about the royal house, I seem to have to dig within me - as well as dig within what is written, what is said about You, to find more.  I speak or ask to know more but then it seems as if it is impossible to know You lest I search to the inner parts of my own soul.  I'm talking so real with self, it hurts; in that place that tries to shut down, shut off anyone from going there, including and especially myself. Thoughts that float so quietly lest I cast them away; for I know when sounded I would readily not welcome such imagination nor give rights to live within me. "I don’t want to look at that thought," I say…. And so it stays, sitting in wait, sitting still until it can burst out its destruction it has intended to produce; patient to wait its full sin.

I want more of You and yet if I do not search for honesty of who I am or what is it I search, I remain clueless and/or without manna that my heart knows as perfect.  Speaking the imperfections of others somehow slip easily from my lips as Spirit knows well the faults of evil.  But to turn light and truth inward; to allow Holy to guide its shining brilliant light freely about all my still motionless charged self-facts would be stirring up mud in water I want to drink.  My mind fights this logic of sanctification by the wonders of holiness You are.

But oh how thirsty I am today!  My heart speaks as with unknown tongues, stirring the deep; melting the cold frozen layers of ice I reserve for my sin to remain.  So I dig to the confessions that want to hide, that I might sing a new song of merriment.  Confessions, dead works that work to the top; so that I find total redemption this righteousness brings to my life. Your commandments are so pure and wise.  

What do I search for?

Poppa, like a star standing in its perfect place to reflect such a light that gives it such beauty -  this beauty I long for; for it is what gives me complete satisfaction when burning through me its work.  

What I search for?

When You see if there be any wicked way in me, I am released from chains about my heart that I did not know was even there.  The weight of such silly sin became a part of my daily run and I just thought it was supposed to be.  

What I search for?

I openly plea for Your perfect light, so I dance right out of chains.  I sing my repentance and You laugh with me as I experience Your commitment to keep me fully pleasing.

As a parent guarding and guiding a child to a full future, Your absolute, Your path for me is my meditation.  I am distracted but fail to find just what distraction misguided me so I come now and say purify me.  Cleanse me as I plunge into this river of mercy for the richer things, Your gaze.  

What I search for?

I cannot do this on my own so I ask to be enlightened.   I know You will never leave me and yet this must be assured in constant revelations of love pouring through me in discipline and pardon as sin blinds me. 

Ultimately....What I search for?

I need more of who You are and less of who I am.  Help me identify the differences…!