Watch My Days

To my Father 

who owns every moment 

of my time, 

all the creation around me, 

all stops and goes of my life

 - to knowing my beginning 

to my end of days here on earth.   

So involved in creating my timing, 

my place for Your good pleasure 

and to take me 

to my fullest potential 

in gentleness and kindness, 

leading me 

to drink of Your fountain only.  

My needs met 

by Your knowledge in more ways 

than I could know 

my lack and ask.  

Merciful Father, 

so pure with motives for me, 

take me and give my daily bread today 

so that I am in strong standing 

under a plan that leads 

to the gates of forgiveness 

and gathers me 

to be sure of this pardon.  

I find hunger 

and I go seeking.  

I want to be found 

looking for food 

that I will share for eternity, 

not the turning away 

to pleasures held 

for only pieces 

of glory here on earth.  

When I am asked 

to do the bidding of another 

I have no rights or ownership in, 

give me strength 

to not take upon my soul 

their grip, this enemy 

that makes guilt or kindness 

a trick to capture my strength 

away from my assigned days.  

Help me watch my days carefully.  

Help me take 

my own self-centered desires 

or my fears 

I am not getting 

or will not be provided for, 

and squeeze this lie out of my heart.   

I want my days to be filled 

with the watch of a released heart 

after Your love, 

consumed in walking 

a straight path assigned. 

Swallowed whole in Your goodness 

as my time spent on earth 

accomplishes Your will.  

May I carry myself 

as unashamed and surrendered 

to this passion 

You serve as my stairway 

to all of heaven’s feasting.  

Feed me from above 

and I will see Your Face. 

Emotions God Has

Poppa, with You I live in a honeymoon not written by human, but by that which serves me from heaven’s substance.  I walk with thoughts that run wild with love dripping, splashing everywhere I go.  I sing to the top of my lungs and I care not how close I get to my own balance of good notes or bad, for I have a message that pushes to be released.  

I am in love with the One that creation gave as my partner in three, my wing that lifts the great emotions birthed within me.  

I take all my minutes and give them to You as a great cry for all that You are, to be me.  Your Name has a circle of aroma about me, as I dance under the union it gave my heart to move.   My eyes close to so many earth sounds that call for me as each sound only turns to vapor, but Your kingdom takes my ground and forms the solid of eternal rock upon to dance.  

I draw near, oh so near, that I feel Your breath blowing and Your heart beating.  All my ‘mines’ I bring and lay them as my answer to Your love.  For I take Your reality of acceptance and leave my fantasy of wealth this world gives as its acceptance of me.   

Wrap me in the yearning from Your heart, the serious ignition of passion to take all my burdens, my dreams to make glorious.  I take this hurricane of emotions You have for me and I glide to You in my weakness.  

I give way to Your exploding emotions of fire that makes You my God, my Poppa, my creator and reality.  I leave the lukewarm state of being, the place You are least like.  I jump into open air as I watch You running towards me with an army of angels at Your side.  

Oh how Your fire burns, Your emotions, stirred and combined to flow through me, with all You've given me a taste of.  I’m left with a trophy, scarred with the stretch love marks on those who take Your Name.  

I am where I am supposed to be, in Your love, Your Emotions, as eyes filled with love tell me to stay. 

Selfish Leftovers

God, I'm heavy with desire for love to be sent, not trampled by my enemy.  

God, I want the takings of Your sweet mercy wrap me with a grip I cannot untie.  

So confused...I feel love, I think love, I even convince myself I speak love, and yet it comes back to me declared a retched wound to whom I send it.  The scream floats before my eyes day and night; weeping they cry, saying I give out only darkness and I have pierced their life with selfish leftovers not even fit to consume. 

Am I alone?  Am I lifeless with death my conversation; is death all I have to give them?  Do I stand in mud and only track dirt into a white room?  Only Your power can clean my feet and love mend and sing us into the softness of joy.  

Take away my cover, take my hiding place where I go to feed on lies, and replace it with whispers that heal letdowns while it strengthens my courage to walk in repentance.  Lead me not into temptation but gather my wayward heart and provide me with instructions to set me preserved for pure love talk only.

Do not let me be deceived and then convinced I am not.  Save me from my own self justified blindness giving me a road to continue into thicker and thicker chains and traps that cripple.  Watch over me before even a sound comes from my lips, to bring it to the fire of Your Spirit, cleansing my motives and my safety net I build for myself, and my selfish rights to find blame.

With Holy Anger, shave off the enemy's division built to separate children in Your kingdom.  Send Holy Fire that frees all captives from the punishment evil meant for destruction.  May I see the light of this Fire and walk in its center without knowing, just trusting.

Unscramble words that twist in the hands of our enemy; and cause the life it is intended to be the power that sets the earth as the bridge we are on, only for the journey of raising the awareness of Your love.

Take me deeper and deeper into real love that sacrifices; and laughs at ten percent gifts in order to keep 90 percent for self consumption.  I want one-hundred percent giving to the call You fill me with and constantly pour in abundance more than I need, to make the gift radically spontaneously frivolous.  

Let me see Your Face, that I send love, first hand, not leftovers. 

He Is My Father

Abba Father, oh how I cry out to You.  Father, all my soul, mind, heart reaches toward You.  Oh how I just want to lay in thought of just who You are, Poppa, my God, the perfect Father, the only One true Father.  To encounter You, to be before You as Your child, You my Poppa.  To take that first glance and see that You are watching.  To see You have had Your eyes upon me as I came.  The tickle Your slight smile reveals as You wait for my first words as I walk up to this thought ... me Yours, You mine.  Knowing You have millions of children and yet it does not keep You from knowing my name, nor keep You from making my life greatly cherished by You.  Knowing Your heart is mushy over me.  Sharing my story, taking picture moments and keeping them as special times. I want to hear this sound, this move, this touch that brings Father and daughter together. I want to find out how it wraps so beautifully around my heart and carries me to desire only to be with my Father.  I want to hear footsteps that my Father makes as You are there before me.  To feel the wind moving as You travel around me, in me, through me.  I reach, with knowledge I am Yours.  I reach as I call Your Name and I dream with earnestness to hear my name called.  Nothing is sweeter than to hear happy when pulled tight to be together.  Can You feel my love pushing, shoving, moving as fast as I can to bring You my thoughts, my heart all consumed with You.  See my eyes slowing moving to see all of You.  To watch Your Hand move toward me. I have been won over and adopted into Your Name sake and I dance with joy.  

With all my soul, mind, heart, I say "Father", as one that receives enormous pleasure in knowing who I am. Yours, chosen with passion to come be Your child. Abba Father, oh how I love You.

Riches Unpacked Except By Praise

Find me today, 

Lord who has the waters 

and land set in place.  

Find me in this place 

waiting for You 

as the sound of alarm bells 

chime in my head 

telling me the slip of my feet 

are reaching the edge 

of a great fall.  

Searching with my arms 

swinging wildly into thin air 

as my mind swears 

nothing is wrong, 

causing the cloud of confusion 

to be my garment.  

Louder becomes the wind 

as I feel the ground vibrating 

as the whistle wants to prove 

its strength will destroy me.  

Fighting with my cry, 

“takeeeee meeee awayyyyyy,” 

as these words 

sing into eternity’s bounce.  

For alone with my self-talk 

I will fall by its heavy weights of pain.  

Why is my soul downcast… 

Oh, but I am asking as I pray.  

For my hope is stayed in Truth 

as it wraps my life in 

riches unpacked except by praise.  

For I set my foot 

within the house built of sand 

unless I am guided 

to the forest 

for the strong building equipment of faith. 

Come and sweep me up; 

and thrust Your love at me 

with remembrance mixed sweetly with hopes.  

I will sing sweet melodies 

because You sing within me.  

Come and tear away 

the thick wall of despair 

that tries to choke me 

with false, fabricated fluff 

to bring deception.  

Come and command as I surrender 

to the certainty of truthfulness 

that anchors my soul to Your heart.  

I am dedicated to Trinity 

with complete promise, and 

I share the desires of want with 

expectations of fire within 

keeping me panting for oneness, 

closeness that makes us 

ultimately free and loved.

Forever I am set upon knowing

the only way is to ask of You.

Forever I am set upon knowing

the only way is to cry to You.

For praise is built from

what appears disasters 

but is salvation 

for eternal LIFE..!

You have my surrender.

For my hope is stayed in Truth 

as it wraps my life in 

riches unpacked except by praise. 

Could Wilderness Be A Beautiful Place

Ever wanted to go to the ‘wilderness’. Let me share with you a new thought about this place that is working in me.  

Adam and Eve lived in a place called the Garden of Eden where they moved about with wild animals.  And the story in Genesis makes it plain that Satan dwelt there as well for from his temptation Eve then Adam caved.  But the beautiful story tells of how Adam 'walked' with God and was honored to name these beasts and call it good.  Somehow I have a hard time thinking Adam was in a tree horrified with terror at the animals before him while giving each one their name.  I see him as God’s helper, touching and being amazed at what was before him, (just a thought but can you see it?).  

When Moses was in the ‘wilderness’ they had amazing provision and miracles we often fail to notice because we honor the bad somewhat like the media does today.  Can you imagine waking to have your own agenda and not being forced to make bricks.  Playing with your children, going to see grandpa instead of being whipped for looking off from duty assigned.  Sharing stories and recalling what was just over the trees afar.

So here is what really gets me… !  In Mark 1:12 & 13 (NIV) it speaks of how Jesus was taken to the wilderness for 40 days and night (Moses had 40 years in wilderness).  Satan tempted or had conversation with Him and this I have often been taught about. 

But what I was unaware of was where each translation and paraphrase I can find speaks of how Jesus was WITH the WILD animals, AND the angels ministered or attended to Him.  Angels attending… awesome; but WILD ANIMALS as companions….hum, this sounds peaceful to me…. !  

So with the imagination and grace God gives me, I’m left with wondering… so where is and what is the ‘wilderness’ really???

Being Right Is Ugly

Learning there is no other place, my Redeemer, I come weeping.  Sobbing from twisted ankles, broken heart, weak from sickness I can’t find a cure.  Finding offenses that bury me in anger and something within that wants its screaming way to explode for it has been convinced it will solve the wrong. 

Can I stay with You, can I come in, my thoughts beg; for I am confused in offenses, so turned upside down with what side of this fence to climb? Trust speaks sweetly with confidence and then turns, and I find it is not trust at all but as if the face I saw was dark instead.  Sour, my soul becomes, so sour with its troubled words tumbling from my lips; running faster than I can keep up with, such raised heat of anger. 

And most often, what I wouldn't want for anyone happens - a wall cements itself between lives, and in marches the guards ready to lay you to sleep in forceful self-assurance

I am right 

and all others are wrong. 

Being ‘right’ is ugly, bruising, and competitive with hostility as its weapon.  

Blinding as if the sun is at its brightest, shining directly into your eyes…nothing is seen clearly.  

But love takes what is Good in the sight of You Lord and stops the train that wants destruction.  Love answers wrongs with a scale built to dissolve the storm clouds rushing in to bring destruction at every path it takes.  

Love gives way to throw a stone if one has no darkness hidden in their own secret existence.  Love divides quickly good and bad and is careful to consume the good and block only the piece that is scared with the enemy’s deception.  Love is a language full of questions, but peace to calm if chasing its provisions.

Wisdom is my cry; for waking from stress to the Word that gives life like a new day is the finale of wisdom.  Removing locks you did not realize had its hold; releasing the name given another with such fresh beauty to the soul rather than buckling over to the pain it once carried.  

A beginning untold begins; for a new story of amazement is on the lips of those who find pardon or give pardon.  

Pardon announced, dancing begins.  The Spirit has wooed hearts to unity perfectly fitting with Father, Son and Himself; now seeing a picture of Trinity’s work.  

Oh how good it is, as Jesus declared, that Spirit would come.  How rich are those who find Spirit a friend to guide and draw in His discipline.  How enormously loved are those Discipline walks and sleeps with.