Love - What Is It

We were created to hold a substance 

unable to buy, sell, or trade; 

And yet...

we have been commanded to share; 

accepting this substance 

that comes in every which way 

but what we usually can predict! 

~

We can’t earn it, 

we can’t manipulate it, 

we can’t demand it 

and we sure can’t fake it; 

and yet again,

commanded to share.  

Love is… 

a substance so wanted 

we build our every step to find it.  

I lose it, abuse it,

and most of the time - 

become confused by it
for it trips up all selfish moves.

Love surrounds my every
response, thought, and secret
with its knowledge
of how to hear me.

Love holds no sacred
loyalty to my folly
but to my end
for my sake 
of progress and betterment.

 Love's boundaries 
are endless with
faithful pulls and stops
to give me an umbrella
in the rain.

Love has my total attention.

No matter what my adventure is, 

I am consciously and unconsciously hoping 

to find each response 

coming back 

filled with love's attitudes.  

Love desires,
 hidden so deep and strong within me, 

moves my heart 
to connect each event supernaturally; 

so much so that disappointment flies 

when I receive a counter reaction.  

Scared and troubled 

when what sets before me is war; 

two flinging their world 

as if it is the answer 

to the thirst of all others.  

Flames rise within the soul 

and a kingdom begins to scream for its rule.  

And then love,
working its strength in spite of me
comes around, for it knows
it is the ultimate results
I have been set to desire.

Take notice, oh my soul;
love wins - every time...!

Lukewarm-ness

In these moments, of Your presence so strong, so strong, so very strong…I find tears want their way to cry forth. I want to burst forth something but no clue how to allow such strength of passion inside take its leave from me so I can become empty for more to gush in.

For highest praise speaks without words as I become saturated with a substance called You Are..!  

Love takes on colors as I climb this event, this wonder of a place so pure.  My countenance must surely change, for how can my heart be so enlightened with such the song that forms and it not cause my face to match this changed delight.

How I ponder the time I live in this, Your Presence.  How it must change us from glory to glory as we watch each other forming the body of Christ before our eyes.

Here in this love, I stand, but I feel like I will never, never be the same.  How can I wade in such surroundings and then go back to the lack this world offers.  How could I?  Why would I want to go back to dullness when You offer a bursting glorious transformation only provided from the manna on high. 

Oh God, keep me.  In these moments I cry out to keep me.  Keep me in this time and do not lead me to temptation that temps me into lukewarm-ness which has such a death grip You can only spew it out.  For there I see all is good and I forget my need, my constant need for Your goodness keeping me in the discipline of Your discipleship.   I know You but I am at ease with my soul, at ease with my lack and feel no needs. 

I want to want You, I want to plead for more, I want to search for You, I want to climb the highest mountain for I am clueless, I want to take all I have and sell it for a moment again with You, I want to share my dreams with You, I want to never be satisfied with little but want more, I want to sing Your song and not my own level of accomplishments.  I love the unsettled equation I have of who You are, for I vow to keep trying to figure out more. 

I love the search for the rock in which to build my relationship with You.  Living on the edge and fearful but ready to leap into the air of unknown at all times, knowing You are there ready to take me on the ride of my life.

Keep me from lukewarm-ness and burn within me Your fire that keeps me dancing and playing as a fearless child about Your kingdom.  Forever looking into the inheritance that was awarded me, finding new excitements at every step. 

Shake me with the fierceness of Your love and I will find what I am looking for…! 

Watch My Days

To my Father 

who owns every moment 

of my time, 

all the creation around me, 

all stops and goes of my life

 - to knowing my beginning 

to my end of days here on earth.   

So involved in creating my timing, 

my place for Your good pleasure 

and to take me 

to my fullest potential 

in gentleness and kindness, 

leading me 

to drink of Your fountain only.  

My needs met 

by Your knowledge in more ways 

than I could know 

my lack and ask.  

Merciful Father, 

so pure with motives for me, 

take me and give my daily bread today 

so that I am in strong standing 

under a plan that leads 

to the gates of forgiveness 

and gathers me 

to be sure of this pardon.  

I find hunger 

and I go seeking.  

I want to be found 

looking for food 

that I will share for eternity, 

not the turning away 

to pleasures held 

for only pieces 

of glory here on earth.  

When I am asked 

to do the bidding of another 

I have no rights or ownership in, 

give me strength 

to not take upon my soul 

their grip, this enemy 

that makes guilt or kindness 

a trick to capture my strength 

away from my assigned days.  

Help me watch my days carefully.  

Help me take 

my own self-centered desires 

or my fears 

I am not getting 

or will not be provided for, 

and squeeze this lie out of my heart.   

I want my days to be filled 

with the watch of a released heart 

after Your love, 

consumed in walking 

a straight path assigned. 

Swallowed whole in Your goodness 

as my time spent on earth 

accomplishes Your will.  

May I carry myself 

as unashamed and surrendered 

to this passion 

You serve as my stairway 

to all of heaven’s feasting.  

Feed me from above 

and I will see Your Face. 

Emotions God Has

Poppa, with You I live in a honeymoon not written by human, but by that which serves me from heaven’s substance.  I walk with thoughts that run wild with love dripping, splashing everywhere I go.  I sing to the top of my lungs and I care not how close I get to my own balance of good notes or bad, for I have a message that pushes to be released.  

I am in love with the One that creation gave as my partner in three, my wing that lifts the great emotions birthed within me.  

I take all my minutes and give them to You as a great cry for all that You are, to be me.  Your Name has a circle of aroma about me, as I dance under the union it gave my heart to move.   My eyes close to so many earth sounds that call for me as each sound only turns to vapor, but Your kingdom takes my ground and forms the solid of eternal rock upon to dance.  

I draw near, oh so near, that I feel Your breath blowing and Your heart beating.  All my ‘mines’ I bring and lay them as my answer to Your love.  For I take Your reality of acceptance and leave my fantasy of wealth this world gives as its acceptance of me.   

Wrap me in the yearning from Your heart, the serious ignition of passion to take all my burdens, my dreams to make glorious.  I take this hurricane of emotions You have for me and I glide to You in my weakness.  

I give way to Your exploding emotions of fire that makes You my God, my Poppa, my creator and reality.  I leave the lukewarm state of being, the place You are least like.  I jump into open air as I watch You running towards me with an army of angels at Your side.  

Oh how Your fire burns, Your emotions, stirred and combined to flow through me, with all You've given me a taste of.  I’m left with a trophy, scarred with the stretch love marks on those who take Your Name.  

I am where I am supposed to be, in Your love, Your Emotions, as eyes filled with love tell me to stay. 

Selfish Leftovers

God, I'm heavy with desire for love to be sent, not trampled by my enemy.  

God, I want the takings of Your sweet mercy wrap me with a grip I cannot untie.  

So confused...I feel love, I think love, I even convince myself I speak love, and yet it comes back to me declared a retched wound to whom I send it.  The scream floats before my eyes day and night; weeping they cry, saying I give out only darkness and I have pierced their life with selfish leftovers not even fit to consume. 

Am I alone?  Am I lifeless with death my conversation; is death all I have to give them?  Do I stand in mud and only track dirt into a white room?  Only Your power can clean my feet and love mend and sing us into the softness of joy.  

Take away my cover, take my hiding place where I go to feed on lies, and replace it with whispers that heal letdowns while it strengthens my courage to walk in repentance.  Lead me not into temptation but gather my wayward heart and provide me with instructions to set me preserved for pure love talk only.

Do not let me be deceived and then convinced I am not.  Save me from my own self justified blindness giving me a road to continue into thicker and thicker chains and traps that cripple.  Watch over me before even a sound comes from my lips, to bring it to the fire of Your Spirit, cleansing my motives and my safety net I build for myself, and my selfish rights to find blame.

With Holy Anger, shave off the enemy's division built to separate children in Your kingdom.  Send Holy Fire that frees all captives from the punishment evil meant for destruction.  May I see the light of this Fire and walk in its center without knowing, just trusting.

Unscramble words that twist in the hands of our enemy; and cause the life it is intended to be the power that sets the earth as the bridge we are on, only for the journey of raising the awareness of Your love.

Take me deeper and deeper into real love that sacrifices; and laughs at ten percent gifts in order to keep 90 percent for self consumption.  I want one-hundred percent giving to the call You fill me with and constantly pour in abundance more than I need, to make the gift radically spontaneously frivolous.  

Let me see Your Face, that I send love, first hand, not leftovers. 

He Is My Father

Abba Father, oh how I cry out to You.  Father, all my soul, mind, heart reaches toward You.  Oh how I just want to lay in thought of just who You are, Poppa, my God, the perfect Father, the only One true Father.  To encounter You, to be before You as Your child, You my Poppa.  To take that first glance and see that You are watching.  To see You have had Your eyes upon me as I came.  The tickle Your slight smile reveals as You wait for my first words as I walk up to this thought ... me Yours, You mine.  Knowing You have millions of children and yet it does not keep You from knowing my name, nor keep You from making my life greatly cherished by You.  Knowing Your heart is mushy over me.  Sharing my story, taking picture moments and keeping them as special times. I want to hear this sound, this move, this touch that brings Father and daughter together. I want to find out how it wraps so beautifully around my heart and carries me to desire only to be with my Father.  I want to hear footsteps that my Father makes as You are there before me.  To feel the wind moving as You travel around me, in me, through me.  I reach, with knowledge I am Yours.  I reach as I call Your Name and I dream with earnestness to hear my name called.  Nothing is sweeter than to hear happy when pulled tight to be together.  Can You feel my love pushing, shoving, moving as fast as I can to bring You my thoughts, my heart all consumed with You.  See my eyes slowing moving to see all of You.  To watch Your Hand move toward me. I have been won over and adopted into Your Name sake and I dance with joy.  

With all my soul, mind, heart, I say "Father", as one that receives enormous pleasure in knowing who I am. Yours, chosen with passion to come be Your child. Abba Father, oh how I love You.

Riches Unpacked Except By Praise

Find me today, 

Lord who has the waters 

and land set in place.  

Find me in this place 

waiting for You 

as the sound of alarm bells 

chime in my head 

telling me the slip of my feet 

are reaching the edge 

of a great fall.  

Searching with my arms 

swinging wildly into thin air 

as my mind swears 

nothing is wrong, 

causing the cloud of confusion 

to be my garment.  

Louder becomes the wind 

as I feel the ground vibrating 

as the whistle wants to prove 

its strength will destroy me.  

Fighting with my cry, 

“takeeeee meeee awayyyyyy,” 

as these words 

sing into eternity’s bounce.  

For alone with my self-talk 

I will fall by its heavy weights of pain.  

Why is my soul downcast… 

Oh, but I am asking as I pray.  

For my hope is stayed in Truth 

as it wraps my life in 

riches unpacked except by praise.  

For I set my foot 

within the house built of sand 

unless I am guided 

to the forest 

for the strong building equipment of faith. 

Come and sweep me up; 

and thrust Your love at me 

with remembrance mixed sweetly with hopes.  

I will sing sweet melodies 

because You sing within me.  

Come and tear away 

the thick wall of despair 

that tries to choke me 

with false, fabricated fluff 

to bring deception.  

Come and command as I surrender 

to the certainty of truthfulness 

that anchors my soul to Your heart.  

I am dedicated to Trinity 

with complete promise, and 

I share the desires of want with 

expectations of fire within 

keeping me panting for oneness, 

closeness that makes us 

ultimately free and loved.

Forever I am set upon knowing

the only way is to ask of You.

Forever I am set upon knowing

the only way is to cry to You.

For praise is built from

what appears disasters 

but is salvation 

for eternal LIFE..!

You have my surrender.

For my hope is stayed in Truth 

as it wraps my life in 

riches unpacked except by praise.