Decision Making

The thought that a decision can change so many things in my life, is a position I seldom ponder; but God seemed to unfold the great heavens and earth with decisions.  Pondering His work and then making that decision to Speak it into this/our now. 

How about the ‘decision’ to bring us to life?  He knew us far before we were.  It had been His decision to call me/you forth.  My decision to follow Christ is a life changer that took my eternity to an amazing treasure gather-er; gathering moments to take with me into the eternal.  He is good.  

This morning, I am pondering what decisions I will make… those big and small, eternal or just this fleeting moment; and graciously I am beginning to see that already in this early morning of this day… I have made several.  I have sneezed several times… I decided to get up and blow my nose. :0)  I have read a few FB post and decided to ‘like’ some.  

I have wondered about, wanting to hear from God’s love - do I press through to hear?  I decided (thought it and decision made) to position myself to WANT to hear – not what I want to hear but ‘what do You want to tell me’?  

Today is a decision making day, as the rest of my life… so in the quiet and in the storm, I position myself to think and make the choice… leaning to hear and move with His Peace as my guide.  My soul sings of His love.  

With more caution, I want to meet God with my decisions today.  

How do we do this… follow Peace!  His Peace!  It’s the calm of all your scattered thoughts. It’s the inhale of a thought okayed by your heart.  It’s the smile inside.  It’s the song that starts with just a hum.  It is a Place…as like the many ‘mansions’ He has promised He would prepare for us, not to cage us but to experience Him.  A roaring area of great love, or mansion filled with His Grace.  It is THAT door you decide to open to this ‘mansion’ He promises…. Open and come on in.  He is always in a Good mood.  :-)

Trip To Heaven

Gettin’ ready for a trip has many acts of preparations and can be a big part of the thrill, as all your imagination lets go and begins to live a little in what might/should/will happen.   

I heard yesterday from a book (I believe) we were listening to … ‘God is with me here on earth but when I get to heaven, I will be with Him’.  Dying was just an invitation to me one time (Want to sleep? And so I did until awaken by the doctor.) But someday it will be an invitation to live there.  The Presence of God, working on earth within my life, makes His creation of greater beauty, for sure, as my affection increases in speedy delights.  

This morning I have this yearning that takes in His amazing invitation to live acts of preparations for this coming event – me living with Him there.  Singing as I hear all music combined to take on His Face as words blend to show my devotion.  Moving with steps that One looking on sees as the dance of love.  Each turn, tilt, slight glance and stare, gives revelation of my love and appreciation of such surrender He made so I could be with Him.  Holding hands with each other for That Day, the Day I see Him.  Marking each face along the way; as if it held the weight of our hearts to obtain such a place.  Giving away; as each of our steps include the sharing of what is inside.  

Closer and closer to Him, which plugs you in to receive new; new substance that was never there before.  Gathering to pour out behind you, as His Love multiplies more than you can contain.  

Oh (hear my groan of want) I am caught up in preparations.  Making a trip that every single salvation that comes my way is this invitation to sing and dance to this Place.  Excitement that carries the right ‘now’ the next ‘move’ the confident ‘word’ the bright ‘light’ that leads on to give this trip its dance now and forever. 

I have but a shadow of what is to come but as I live in this shadow, I live in His Trust that it will be glorious.

Am I Worth Anything

Ever wanted something (I don’t believe it matters what), and when it is not obtained, you measure yourself – your very worth as a person.  Out comes your judgment, “Well, I’m not ‘worth’ getting that, I guess.”  The very value begins its scale over a very small item or by the strength of another as you take second to its place.  You can’t seem to change your want, so you work harder at getting; but by golly, you still can’t find satisfaction and you’re drained with anger and worry on top of empty.  Now your worth/value statement not only lowers but the passion of what you want shrinks to question severely if you should have ever wanted it.  Unnoticed to your own soul’s destruction, your value is so low, your decision making gets clogged with ‘don’t ask’ time and time again; or even this thought - just look the other way to who you are.

Love’s entrance becomes limited with your own measure set, by yourself,  according to that scale.  By failures to control a person, place or thing, (yeah, that ol’ noun that entered my world and caused me discomfort) I told myself I can’t have it and I measured myself as non-lovable, second best, or worse – no worth.  Now, who cares if I get what I want?  I’m trying to survive under ‘not loved, not of worth, no value.  Swimming in echoes over and over that tell me I am second to everyone, everything.  I sit, I cry.

Crying to my Poppa God has worked in me the same magic it did when I was a child with my earthly dad.  I was blessed for my dad would sit and listen as I cried, and then give me options and thoughts to consider, as I shared.  Somehow I knew he had taken this time because he loved me.  This memory seems to be how my Poppa God works with me…always, somehow, I have known He loves me in spite of my search and wants; whether I get what I want or not.  And my conclusion was always that finding His Love was so much better than anything I could get from this world anyway. 

But oh the pain when my painful soul drowns as it sinks down, down, down while I continued to fall in my self-measured scale. 

I’m not talking about knowing my sinful nature, my wayward heart that scatters selfish screams.  No, I’m talking that measure of value that comes when something or one crosses you with a value statement that ‘this’ is more important than you; and you become a fallen vessel unable to hold your heart as valuable as you know your heart is worth.  I, not them, begin to trash my value.  I begin to wonder in despair with the ‘I’m not worth nothing’ attitude.  In desperate attempts, I make demands that are not met, I follow the lie rather than heal the soul that is battered and torn.

What a tragedy, to discard the heart with such a low measure of worth.  God’s extreme love demonstrated the ultimate sacrifice of His own Son to individually show my value is like an open check with a bank account larger than this world; with reserves extended to heaven’s eternal bliss. 

What a tragedy when I become distraught because a person, place or thing tried to rule my heart and I swallowed a lie of my worth.  Swimming in echoes over and over that tell me I am second to everyone, everything.  I sit, I cry.

But what a miracle when His Love rescues the heart and I dance away with knowing, I am His delight...!  Worth the gift of His Son, Jesus.  Worth the demand made, "Peace, be still" to the storm's invasion.  Worth the saving at the cost of Word leaving heaven to come in human form so "I" can find His Love never fails.  I am of worth...!

Empty Heart

The heart 

has worlds to explore 

and yet it can feel 

so empty.  

But taken to His moment, 

taken to His open gate, 

I wonder about 

like I am the tiny 

and He is the Big.  

And the fun begins...! 

As the run takes me over 

and I sing 

from depths I surrender to 

only when I think I am alone.  

And out comes 

the funky dance 

that was created 

from my beautiful careless 

choreographed childlike happiness.   

Giggles are the sounding notes 

that carry my spectacular, 

yet ridiculous, 

fun steps 

towards unheard promises 

that take a hold of me 

with power I am amazed 

have my life written about them.  

As if a stone 

was rolled away 

from the burdens of my weakness, 

music burst forth

causing me 

to be its very vessel 

to bring forth melodies 

to heights and depths 

of heaven on earth.  

I forget I felt empty.

Jokes

A conversation has purpose.  Do we really consider what we are saying or what others are trying to get across?  

Jokes – what is behind such a story, and when is it used to truly make things light? Or could it be used to get others to laugh at what you your self are angered over?

Lord, I love 'funny' but help me line each of my words up and give account to their reason to be spoken. If I can’t seem to find this possible, help me breakdown at least each conversation to hear my purpose for even making sounds into this atmosphere.  

Wickedness What Do I Do With It

What do you do with eyes to see wicked?  How are these horrible acts of violence and deception dealt with as we live and move in God's beautiful grace.

John the Baptist was a strange character who came to be a visible voice, before Jesus made His voice heard by the multitudes.  In Luke 3 I read of how John spoke to those who came to get a glimpse, and hear what all the talk about him was and I can't seem to find a single kind word to anyone, that is of course, except Jesus.  But all others (human kind)... he placed them as terrible sinners and in great need to repent.  Seeing right through them in such a degree that many apparently 'came to him' to be judged. WOW.  Luke 3:10 AMP And the multitudes asked him, Then what shall we do?

John the Baptist did not hesitate, then or prior to them asking, to tell them that they sin. Luke 3:3 AMP And he went into all the country round about the Jordan, preaching a baptism of repentance (of hearty amending of their ways, with abhorrence of past wrongdoing) unto the forgiveness of sin.

But here is the love beyond my understanding of who John the Baptist really was, and how he gave such deep guidance to sinners when they came to wonder if he was the Christ. Luke 3:16 AMP John answered them all by saying, I baptize you with water; but He Who is mightier than I is coming, the strap of Whose sandals I am not fit to unfasten. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.

AND THERE IT WAS... my thought on what to do with eyes to see wicked..!  Oh yes, we all want to do the pointing, but do we have the heart of John to walk in such repentance that we realize WE DO NOT EVEN HAVE RIGHTS TO LOOSEN JESUS'S SANDAL or do we basically just point out wrongs we think we have conquered so we are just a little higher than the one to whom we speak?  This thought took me into a new Room with Poppa. Through another door, so to speak. For I saw a man who saw the wicked of mankind, but with great conviction himself. Who spoke to those who would listen from his own place of humility. He knew he was a messenger - not Jesus - or anyone to be placed above those he spoke to.

Walking in the grace of what Jesus did, we can declare what is shown and the message we are given, but we can never place our self in a position to instruct like a creator. No, we are saved by grace just like the next guy.

And how do we see wicked

 - by the ability to know we struggle with wicked.

Why and How

I am loved and love creates so many questions 

Why the tears when You walk in?  Why is it that emotions take up this surround sound and all I hear is compassion as hugs rush in to hold me up?  Where was I before I knew You were there?  Is love hiding behind my fear; or is love leading me because I was created to fall forward towards this magnificence?  Without understanding of why choosing is the drink of pure joy, I wander about in the capture of Your Kingdom, as its walls seem to be the Arms of the Father.  Is this love so great a tiny piece or is it the gigantic it feels like to me?  How could I ever measure what feels like the roots of the largest tree, the fire of a sun, the freedom of the richest child?  Which tear speaks to You most... the first or the finish of my sentence?  When did my eyes really open, when I came from my mother or during Your first visit to woo me toward You?  Is the swing of my moods a tickle to You as I squirm free of bondage?  Why does the song of one word drown an ocean of worry. Is being born again something I will ever understand or is it much like being born the first time, without memory or understanding of why?  You say You picked me, why?  As the angels rejoice and I wonder what they say and how they respond, are they pondering the life of me?  When You split the ocean of worry apart so I can walk through, why is it such an amazing picture?  

Mark 12:30 (AMP)

And you shall love the Lord your God out of and with your whole heart and out of and with all your soul (your life) and out of and with all your mind (with your faculty of thought and your moral understanding) and out of and with all your strength. This is the first and principal commandment.