Wine From Him

Capturing something gone wild inside can be like stopping a river... it takes on another outlet once I think I have found a way to contain it. I'm so full of amusement this morning. Let me try to explain. You will not find wine in our house (at least as far as I know), for an accident took us to the edge of confused and now this tasty substance has no invitation. 

But Jesus told the servants to fill the water pots. (John 2) From this, His glory was shown as the ruler tasted and declared a new approach was taken in this wedding… the best for an ending.  To cause all guest to go out rejoicing and forever be a word from their mouth of such a story.  

What was being said here?  Here is what my heart tells me… Jesus knows we will drink from the world’s substance until we run out.  There is no more.  This is when we are open to partake of the supernatural… His Wine (His Holy Spirit).  Since Jesus died for us, we become His bride, His reward.  We have been drinking heavy, but it will run out and I think that is happening. It sure is for Michael and I.  We barely missed a divorce, we found ourselves in the middle of confusing statements from each other, we hardly understood the involvement we were to even have.  We ran out of wine.  But…I’m filling the water pots (my soul) and I’m experiencing new Wine.  Far exceeding all my expectations and/or my imagination.  The pleasure goes beyond words and into an over-spill of what happens inside. 

I had a dream after this awakening this morning about 3:00 a.m.  I was with a nephew, telling him of some wonders.  He gave me a hug.  It was just a kind sort of hug, but not a heart hug.  I said, “Oh my, please (I offered) embrace me.”  I was consumed with love and wanted it to be experienced, not kindly acknowledged.  

I believe God wants us to experience this New Wine. It isn’t something we can make or create.  It is His divine Recipe… becoming filled with the Holy Spirit (Hearing His Sound). Then we will walk out it’s drunken (boldness) spill.  We use this illustration often …. ‘see, Jesus drank wine.’  We buy our own rights to be drunk with man-made wine, rather than fill our pots because we are empty. 

For weeks now I have been pondering this…’Jesus drank wine.’  It has been so confusing to me and I continued to ask about it.  I am grateful for Truth (life abundance) that makes folly such a frazzled rag (unwanted and disposable). I am confident that He will continue to reveal this as I continue to drink this New Wine.

Conversation With God About My Children

My heart takes a turn to focus… 

focus toward the Answer to all things.  

First, I want to express my gratitude toward such a blessing as this, being in ‘life’ so full of distractions and turns but always having this Place (many mansions or places You have prepared for us) to find the rescue of Your Way, the Answer.  Finding our way involves the guidance of Your Way, and the Light always being on, gives this process a divine dance rather than a crawl to disaster. I see Your glory as my day wanders about in disarray but catches Love sensations with the pulls of guidance, the Answer. 

My song is like a child in the woods full of wolves but the safety of warriors about me.  I am loved and this love sends fiery compelling flames that capture my eyes to stare at it, with each moment losing that time crunch and I take on the beauty of ‘no time’ elapsing with love as the motive. My story, the reading of Your glory, takes my heart to Peace that simply creates being.  Being in, being held, being alive to experience.  I am here.  I have arrived…not to the beginning of time nor to the end of time… just here.  Ready to be.  

Sing Poppa, sing so loud that the world dances, and may we turn to focus…toward the Answer to all things.  Jesus is our First Love.  We are His bride.

I give my focus to see that You have my children as treasures beyond the blindness I caused or the confusion I created.  You have them in Your Divine and You see the whispers they make as struggles take a pinch here and there and bruising appears.  You are causing all things to work toward this highest praise; that Love signals on earth the things heaven pours.  

As Joy covers their homes with angel wings on assignment, You watch as Peace takes them to ‘everything is going to be alright’.  When wrong knocks, You force open exposure against the enemy and cripple the destruction to a fizzle until it is no more.  

All five You have given me have an amazing ‘look’ which causes You to declare….”Do you see what I see?”  Proudly telling me of Your Love over them!  Extending my boarders to each of their own individual world Love expands my gifts, Your treasures.  

Love breaks the heart to be a never ending place for Your Song to live and watch a child, Your child, my gifts, Your treasures.  I weep as I carry Your abundance within.  You weep as You tilt Your head with compassion and a grip that promises to always be.  

I find enough, always enough and so will my children.  

You make their song like a child in the woods full of wolves but the safety of warriors about them.

Decision Making

The thought that a decision can change so many things in my life, is a position I seldom ponder; but God seemed to unfold the great heavens and earth with decisions.  Pondering His work and then making that decision to Speak it into this/our now. 

How about the ‘decision’ to bring us to life?  He knew us far before we were.  It had been His decision to call me/you forth.  My decision to follow Christ is a life changer that took my eternity to an amazing treasure gather-er; gathering moments to take with me into the eternal.  He is good.  

This morning, I am pondering what decisions I will make… those big and small, eternal or just this fleeting moment; and graciously I am beginning to see that already in this early morning of this day… I have made several.  I have sneezed several times… I decided to get up and blow my nose. :0)  I have read a few FB post and decided to ‘like’ some.  

I have wondered about, wanting to hear from God’s love - do I press through to hear?  I decided (thought it and decision made) to position myself to WANT to hear – not what I want to hear but ‘what do You want to tell me’?  

Today is a decision making day, as the rest of my life… so in the quiet and in the storm, I position myself to think and make the choice… leaning to hear and move with His Peace as my guide.  My soul sings of His love.  

With more caution, I want to meet God with my decisions today.  

How do we do this… follow Peace!  His Peace!  It’s the calm of all your scattered thoughts. It’s the inhale of a thought okayed by your heart.  It’s the smile inside.  It’s the song that starts with just a hum.  It is a Place…as like the many ‘mansions’ He has promised He would prepare for us, not to cage us but to experience Him.  A roaring area of great love, or mansion filled with His Grace.  It is THAT door you decide to open to this ‘mansion’ He promises…. Open and come on in.  He is always in a Good mood.  :-)

Trip To Heaven

Gettin’ ready for a trip has many acts of preparations and can be a big part of the thrill, as all your imagination lets go and begins to live a little in what might/should/will happen.   

I heard yesterday from a book (I believe) we were listening to … ‘God is with me here on earth but when I get to heaven, I will be with Him’.  Dying was just an invitation to me one time (Want to sleep? And so I did until awaken by the doctor.) But someday it will be an invitation to live there.  The Presence of God, working on earth within my life, makes His creation of greater beauty, for sure, as my affection increases in speedy delights.  

This morning I have this yearning that takes in His amazing invitation to live acts of preparations for this coming event – me living with Him there.  Singing as I hear all music combined to take on His Face as words blend to show my devotion.  Moving with steps that One looking on sees as the dance of love.  Each turn, tilt, slight glance and stare, gives revelation of my love and appreciation of such surrender He made so I could be with Him.  Holding hands with each other for That Day, the Day I see Him.  Marking each face along the way; as if it held the weight of our hearts to obtain such a place.  Giving away; as each of our steps include the sharing of what is inside.  

Closer and closer to Him, which plugs you in to receive new; new substance that was never there before.  Gathering to pour out behind you, as His Love multiplies more than you can contain.  

Oh (hear my groan of want) I am caught up in preparations.  Making a trip that every single salvation that comes my way is this invitation to sing and dance to this Place.  Excitement that carries the right ‘now’ the next ‘move’ the confident ‘word’ the bright ‘light’ that leads on to give this trip its dance now and forever. 

I have but a shadow of what is to come but as I live in this shadow, I live in His Trust that it will be glorious.

Am I Worth Anything

Ever wanted something (I don’t believe it matters what), and when it is not obtained, you measure yourself – your very worth as a person.  Out comes your judgment, “Well, I’m not ‘worth’ getting that, I guess.”  The very value begins its scale over a very small item or by the strength of another as you take second to its place.  You can’t seem to change your want, so you work harder at getting; but by golly, you still can’t find satisfaction and you’re drained with anger and worry on top of empty.  Now your worth/value statement not only lowers but the passion of what you want shrinks to question severely if you should have ever wanted it.  Unnoticed to your own soul’s destruction, your value is so low, your decision making gets clogged with ‘don’t ask’ time and time again; or even this thought - just look the other way to who you are.

Love’s entrance becomes limited with your own measure set, by yourself,  according to that scale.  By failures to control a person, place or thing, (yeah, that ol’ noun that entered my world and caused me discomfort) I told myself I can’t have it and I measured myself as non-lovable, second best, or worse – no worth.  Now, who cares if I get what I want?  I’m trying to survive under ‘not loved, not of worth, no value.  Swimming in echoes over and over that tell me I am second to everyone, everything.  I sit, I cry.

Crying to my Poppa God has worked in me the same magic it did when I was a child with my earthly dad.  I was blessed for my dad would sit and listen as I cried, and then give me options and thoughts to consider, as I shared.  Somehow I knew he had taken this time because he loved me.  This memory seems to be how my Poppa God works with me…always, somehow, I have known He loves me in spite of my search and wants; whether I get what I want or not.  And my conclusion was always that finding His Love was so much better than anything I could get from this world anyway. 

But oh the pain when my painful soul drowns as it sinks down, down, down while I continued to fall in my self-measured scale. 

I’m not talking about knowing my sinful nature, my wayward heart that scatters selfish screams.  No, I’m talking that measure of value that comes when something or one crosses you with a value statement that ‘this’ is more important than you; and you become a fallen vessel unable to hold your heart as valuable as you know your heart is worth.  I, not them, begin to trash my value.  I begin to wonder in despair with the ‘I’m not worth nothing’ attitude.  In desperate attempts, I make demands that are not met, I follow the lie rather than heal the soul that is battered and torn.

What a tragedy, to discard the heart with such a low measure of worth.  God’s extreme love demonstrated the ultimate sacrifice of His own Son to individually show my value is like an open check with a bank account larger than this world; with reserves extended to heaven’s eternal bliss. 

What a tragedy when I become distraught because a person, place or thing tried to rule my heart and I swallowed a lie of my worth.  Swimming in echoes over and over that tell me I am second to everyone, everything.  I sit, I cry.

But what a miracle when His Love rescues the heart and I dance away with knowing, I am His delight...!  Worth the gift of His Son, Jesus.  Worth the demand made, "Peace, be still" to the storm's invasion.  Worth the saving at the cost of Word leaving heaven to come in human form so "I" can find His Love never fails.  I am of worth...!

Empty Heart

The heart 

has worlds to explore 

and yet it can feel 

so empty.  

But taken to His moment, 

taken to His open gate, 

I wonder about 

like I am the tiny 

and He is the Big.  

And the fun begins...! 

As the run takes me over 

and I sing 

from depths I surrender to 

only when I think I am alone.  

And out comes 

the funky dance 

that was created 

from my beautiful careless 

choreographed childlike happiness.   

Giggles are the sounding notes 

that carry my spectacular, 

yet ridiculous, 

fun steps 

towards unheard promises 

that take a hold of me 

with power I am amazed 

have my life written about them.  

As if a stone 

was rolled away 

from the burdens of my weakness, 

music burst forth

causing me 

to be its very vessel 

to bring forth melodies 

to heights and depths 

of heaven on earth.  

I forget I felt empty.

Jokes

A conversation has purpose.  Do we really consider what we are saying or what others are trying to get across?  

Jokes – what is behind such a story, and when is it used to truly make things light? Or could it be used to get others to laugh at what you your self are angered over?

Lord, I love 'funny' but help me line each of my words up and give account to their reason to be spoken. If I can’t seem to find this possible, help me breakdown at least each conversation to hear my purpose for even making sounds into this atmosphere.