Climbing To Reach God

It often feels like a climb, to reach God emotions… those moments where you feel God so large within, you feel as if it is your own.  

Emotions are an expression of what is going on inside and can be so loud, it scares us back into a false state of mind or deception of safety. And then, to break down this wall we put up so fast, can be exhausting and met with confusing screams to keep this door closed. 

Courage is the mountain now. Courage to open up is the ‘climb’, and the impossible, as we look up to imagine how far we would have to go. And depending on how many hands are cupped to help lift, we can find our climb ‘seems’ beyond the clouds. 

The answer is the adventure. We are looking for the top, but He is looking for the climb in us. 

God emotions… the sweet climb of adventure as we open up and seek Him!

Trials Have Me Talking

Trials have me talking.  Got me thinking of what is real, and what is just a part of my fleeting ruins.  

For how often my mistakes (what I’m more likely to call trials) are the very center of what belongs to You. 

I can’t seem to handle them, my mistakes.  I stumble and walk crippled until I am raised to a resurrected knowledge of deep verses my shallow.  Then, and only then, does my trial (mistake) become a beautiful expression of Love in all colors.  Before this I just see in black and white (understanding of my own). 

But trials give me the Character of Your Life in me.  Shining boldness that presses its praise toward Your kindness…always.  No wonder I am to count it all joy when I encounter trials. What an opportunity to find real. How could I any other way know love as extreme, love as answers to the blackest of my heart. 

Facing a trial, I run, I hide, I fall apart; and yet it is at that moment the explosion of heaven invades with activity I will encounter - my new dance, Your victory in me. 

For what trial is it to find I am right? It is when I’m lost that I must say… who cares what others say, I’m lost and I crumble. My trial ends and Your song rises. The stand I made to be mighty, falls - to the table fit for only kings and queens.  I feast in Truth as I lie down and cry. My toes begin to tap, my arms begin to wiggle, and my ears begin to pick up a sound that my eyes now behold as new. I am captured away to journey with music of Truth, no longer drowning in the crushing of a heavy heart.  

Hearing is simply a wave of notes circling the mind, waiting for my spirit to catch its rapture.  I soar as if I never knew anything but Your love was always. And then it happens, I look back and I see a story, a song written about me.  Fearlessly, I explore as a curious spectator of something I followed with passion and shout with happiness.  Where is the trial when Truth owns my heart. La, la, la, la, la, laaaaa…. goes my thoughts…  

Life Feels Like War

The puzzle of life often feels like war to me, rather than the soft laughter of a lazy day. 

I’ve been determined that God loves me 

and I’ve struggled with 

I’m the tail-end of His thoughts.  

But each position (mountain or valley), I’m finding a history of faithfulness.  His purpose for my solo flight to blend with the army of thousands and thousands of names written upon the palm of His Hand, is His Story in me to make even the purest most beautiful sunrise pale to this picture.  

My place is just to respond… literally.  If I’m at the bottom (for this is only my fallen ability to hear), I ‘respond’ and cry out for my soul to rise from my deception. If I’m at the top (hearing One’s Voice and dancing), I ‘respond’ with filling my soul to overflow that I spill forth. 

The mountain moves by the Sound of His Voice… to me this means that my mountain top experiences are each their own example of what Love is Voicing.  If the mountain moves, and it does, then the valleys move also.  What was once a valley can become a mountain.

I am ever in learning and forever to be listening.  

And most important…. 

Respond…! 

He is a Teacher.

Wine From Him

Capturing something gone wild inside can be like stopping a river... it takes on another outlet once I think I have found a way to contain it. I'm so full of amusement this morning. Let me try to explain. You will not find wine in our house (at least as far as I know), for an accident took us to the edge of confused and now this tasty substance has no invitation. 

But Jesus told the servants to fill the water pots. (John 2) From this, His glory was shown as the ruler tasted and declared a new approach was taken in this wedding… the best for an ending.  To cause all guest to go out rejoicing and forever be a word from their mouth of such a story.  

What was being said here?  Here is what my heart tells me… Jesus knows we will drink from the world’s substance until we run out.  There is no more.  This is when we are open to partake of the supernatural… His Wine (His Holy Spirit).  Since Jesus died for us, we become His bride, His reward.  We have been drinking heavy, but it will run out and I think that is happening. It sure is for Michael and I.  We barely missed a divorce, we found ourselves in the middle of confusing statements from each other, we hardly understood the involvement we were to even have.  We ran out of wine.  But…I’m filling the water pots (my soul) and I’m experiencing new Wine.  Far exceeding all my expectations and/or my imagination.  The pleasure goes beyond words and into an over-spill of what happens inside. 

I had a dream after this awakening this morning about 3:00 a.m.  I was with a nephew, telling him of some wonders.  He gave me a hug.  It was just a kind sort of hug, but not a heart hug.  I said, “Oh my, please (I offered) embrace me.”  I was consumed with love and wanted it to be experienced, not kindly acknowledged.  

I believe God wants us to experience this New Wine. It isn’t something we can make or create.  It is His divine Recipe… becoming filled with the Holy Spirit (Hearing His Sound). Then we will walk out it’s drunken (boldness) spill.  We use this illustration often …. ‘see, Jesus drank wine.’  We buy our own rights to be drunk with man-made wine, rather than fill our pots because we are empty. 

For weeks now I have been pondering this…’Jesus drank wine.’  It has been so confusing to me and I continued to ask about it.  I am grateful for Truth (life abundance) that makes folly such a frazzled rag (unwanted and disposable). I am confident that He will continue to reveal this as I continue to drink this New Wine.

Conversation With God About My Children

My heart takes a turn to focus… 

focus toward the Answer to all things.  

First, I want to express my gratitude toward such a blessing as this, being in ‘life’ so full of distractions and turns but always having this Place (many mansions or places You have prepared for us) to find the rescue of Your Way, the Answer.  Finding our way involves the guidance of Your Way, and the Light always being on, gives this process a divine dance rather than a crawl to disaster. I see Your glory as my day wanders about in disarray but catches Love sensations with the pulls of guidance, the Answer. 

My song is like a child in the woods full of wolves but the safety of warriors about me.  I am loved and this love sends fiery compelling flames that capture my eyes to stare at it, with each moment losing that time crunch and I take on the beauty of ‘no time’ elapsing with love as the motive. My story, the reading of Your glory, takes my heart to Peace that simply creates being.  Being in, being held, being alive to experience.  I am here.  I have arrived…not to the beginning of time nor to the end of time… just here.  Ready to be.  

Sing Poppa, sing so loud that the world dances, and may we turn to focus…toward the Answer to all things.  Jesus is our First Love.  We are His bride.

I give my focus to see that You have my children as treasures beyond the blindness I caused or the confusion I created.  You have them in Your Divine and You see the whispers they make as struggles take a pinch here and there and bruising appears.  You are causing all things to work toward this highest praise; that Love signals on earth the things heaven pours.  

As Joy covers their homes with angel wings on assignment, You watch as Peace takes them to ‘everything is going to be alright’.  When wrong knocks, You force open exposure against the enemy and cripple the destruction to a fizzle until it is no more.  

All five You have given me have an amazing ‘look’ which causes You to declare….”Do you see what I see?”  Proudly telling me of Your Love over them!  Extending my boarders to each of their own individual world Love expands my gifts, Your treasures.  

Love breaks the heart to be a never ending place for Your Song to live and watch a child, Your child, my gifts, Your treasures.  I weep as I carry Your abundance within.  You weep as You tilt Your head with compassion and a grip that promises to always be.  

I find enough, always enough and so will my children.  

You make their song like a child in the woods full of wolves but the safety of warriors about them.

Decision Making

The thought that a decision can change so many things in my life, is a position I seldom ponder; but God seemed to unfold the great heavens and earth with decisions.  Pondering His work and then making that decision to Speak it into this/our now. 

How about the ‘decision’ to bring us to life?  He knew us far before we were.  It had been His decision to call me/you forth.  My decision to follow Christ is a life changer that took my eternity to an amazing treasure gather-er; gathering moments to take with me into the eternal.  He is good.  

This morning, I am pondering what decisions I will make… those big and small, eternal or just this fleeting moment; and graciously I am beginning to see that already in this early morning of this day… I have made several.  I have sneezed several times… I decided to get up and blow my nose. :0)  I have read a few FB post and decided to ‘like’ some.  

I have wondered about, wanting to hear from God’s love - do I press through to hear?  I decided (thought it and decision made) to position myself to WANT to hear – not what I want to hear but ‘what do You want to tell me’?  

Today is a decision making day, as the rest of my life… so in the quiet and in the storm, I position myself to think and make the choice… leaning to hear and move with His Peace as my guide.  My soul sings of His love.  

With more caution, I want to meet God with my decisions today.  

How do we do this… follow Peace!  His Peace!  It’s the calm of all your scattered thoughts. It’s the inhale of a thought okayed by your heart.  It’s the smile inside.  It’s the song that starts with just a hum.  It is a Place…as like the many ‘mansions’ He has promised He would prepare for us, not to cage us but to experience Him.  A roaring area of great love, or mansion filled with His Grace.  It is THAT door you decide to open to this ‘mansion’ He promises…. Open and come on in.  He is always in a Good mood.  :-)

Trip To Heaven

Gettin’ ready for a trip has many acts of preparations and can be a big part of the thrill, as all your imagination lets go and begins to live a little in what might/should/will happen.   

I heard yesterday from a book (I believe) we were listening to … ‘God is with me here on earth but when I get to heaven, I will be with Him’.  Dying was just an invitation to me one time (Want to sleep? And so I did until awaken by the doctor.) But someday it will be an invitation to live there.  The Presence of God, working on earth within my life, makes His creation of greater beauty, for sure, as my affection increases in speedy delights.  

This morning I have this yearning that takes in His amazing invitation to live acts of preparations for this coming event – me living with Him there.  Singing as I hear all music combined to take on His Face as words blend to show my devotion.  Moving with steps that One looking on sees as the dance of love.  Each turn, tilt, slight glance and stare, gives revelation of my love and appreciation of such surrender He made so I could be with Him.  Holding hands with each other for That Day, the Day I see Him.  Marking each face along the way; as if it held the weight of our hearts to obtain such a place.  Giving away; as each of our steps include the sharing of what is inside.  

Closer and closer to Him, which plugs you in to receive new; new substance that was never there before.  Gathering to pour out behind you, as His Love multiplies more than you can contain.  

Oh (hear my groan of want) I am caught up in preparations.  Making a trip that every single salvation that comes my way is this invitation to sing and dance to this Place.  Excitement that carries the right ‘now’ the next ‘move’ the confident ‘word’ the bright ‘light’ that leads on to give this trip its dance now and forever. 

I have but a shadow of what is to come but as I live in this shadow, I live in His Trust that it will be glorious.