Victory by Him Alone

My heart is heavy for a friend whose child was diagnosed with brain tumor and is facing the posibility of a second surgery today. My sister Carolyn writes in our email that we need the Lord so much today… I comment back that she is so right for there is so much to weigh down the soul if we are not careful. This morning in prayer, I truly felt the heaven’s open and laughter rain down. It was so refreshing. It makes me sob inside… for His Amazing Ways so far from understanding. How backwards so often we have things. For often when the fire is hot, my heart is so close to His Garment and when my heart feels ‘all is well’ I am forgetting my Creator. How opposite the flesh to my spirit as my spirit hungers and the depths of my heart cries for more of Him no matter the cost. For the reach of something within screams I’ll pay the price, I’ll go the extra mile, I’ll go through the fire, for the outcome has me so captured. I cannot take my eyes off of Him. But my flesh wants to use the Name of Jesus as its pleasure seeker much to the same way satan tempted Jesus so high on the mountain. Luring Jesus to satisfy the flesh’s needs by the knowledge of who He was. The flesh stinks and demands its rights while the spirit has the strength of calming the ocean storm. For I know of no higher battle than what I am going through, my husband, my beloved, losing the mind of reality and giving over to death as a welcome visitor, but this morning the rain of laughter takes me into His Arms and I Sing not with outter visuals but inward calm for the battle is not under having the right place of this flesh but the Pure Umbrella of His Love and Covering. My spirit has united with Him and the war has lifted the tops off of compressed brutality of the enemy’s deception. And where was I when this happened… ? I was in the fire… crying, screaming, pleading…. And WHAT did I do right…. I cried to the Holy One… the ONLY ONE.. for the Holy One’s Arms were so large that when I ran I could not help but run into Them. So NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING can be ‘tagged’ as my well doing. He Sought me and He Bought me by His Redeeming Blood and ere I knew Him … aww I’ve got to find the words to this song…



Okay… here they are. oh my goodness.. what a wonderful song..!!! I LOVE this old song…. It speaks so much to me today...!

VICTORY IN JESUS
I heard an old, old story,
How a Savior came from glory,
How He gave His life on Calvary
To save a wretch like me;
I heard about His groaning,
Of His precious blood's atoning,
Then I repented of my sins
And won the victory.

Chorus
O victory in Jesus,
My Savior, forever.
He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood;
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him,
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood.


I heard about His healing,
Of His cleansing pow'r revealing.
How He made the lame to walk again
And caused the blind to see;
And then I cried, "Dear Jesus,
Come and heal my broken spirit,"
And somehow Jesus came and bro't
To me the victory.

I heard about a mansion
He has built for me in glory.
And I heard about the streets of gold
Beyond the crystal sea;
About the angels singing,
And the old redemption story,
And some sweet day I'll sing up there
The song of victory.

Beautiful Eyes

I see Your Eyes this morning my Lord, oh how Beautiful they are…!  For in my search to look deep I can see such Compassion mixed with Wisdom of having All Knowledge, absolutely ALL knowledge.  There is no wrong in Your Portions.  Pouring from Your Eyes is like a visual of the sun rising and pushing back the darkness of night and out comes so vivid all the things around me I had not yet noticed.  What a Glory that Your Presence Brings.  Quietness stills my mind and Music of Your Love enters and carries the load of my struggles from the inability to see, as not even the moon was shining for me through the night.  I look at one Eye and then to the Other as I see Your Voice without a Sound.  Oh how Tender Your Voice is.  What enormous Comfort it brings as it takes me closer.  I awake and find that even though I feel weak, You have already gone for the Remedies to Lift me from my bed.  I fix my eyes on Yours as I am miraculously pulled into Your Place.   Away falls even the thought of struggles and worries that had me chained moments prior as I have now opened myself to Romance of Your Brightness Covering my midnight.  Oh how full it fills my heart with poundings that excite me.  I feel shaky and as if all those around me can see my heart beating fiercely.  I am overwhelmed with Your Love that has put It’s Arms around me so tight.  How do I wear such Love?  How do I respond to Your Passion for me?  What will be my next word or should I speak at all?  In Your Quiet Love that has the Volume of the whole earth, I play and sleep and live.  It surrounds me like a circle of amazements.  Your Thoughts are watching me even as I slept and fumbled in the darkness of my struggles.  Sometimes I want to scream… scream the painful cry of one unable to handle such Love so Pure for it Roars its Beauty and reveals my own shame.   How, WHY, WHAT FOR, my heart will cry!  Who am I that You would send Your Son to die for and Chase me with such Passion.  I get up only to fall again.  And there You are…!  There YOU ARE..!  Waiting, Touching me, Giving to me what is Best so that I can know Your Love above any care or worry or pain this earth gives.  And then it happens all over again, I fall deeply in love with my Creator as Your Romance brings me back to being a bride adorned in Your likeness so that I might be found Covered in Desire.  Desire for His return, Desire for His Spirit; that sends every particle of my being into the return search of who Christ is.  Chasing Him with a consumed heart of passion carrying gratefulness that I was Found.  Lost in darkness but Found by the Eyes of Him who searches the heart of man.  Oh I look upon Your Eyes so Sweet.  So Bold to enter my world and bring Its Light.  Seeing everyhing about me with only my best in mind.  Thank You for being All Places for me.  Thank You for telling me You would NEVER leave me.  Thank You for sticking around when I scream.  I need a Daddy like You.  It’s Your Love that keeps me going.  I love Your Eyes….!

Listen

Have you ever ‘heard’ the whole earth sing? Have you ever seen the whole earth rejoice? Have you ever been before your Lord and You have a gift of Love to return to Him because He has been so good. Then you heard, you saw, and you were there with the whole earth before Him. For His Love does not return void and as He has poured upon you, with a heart full of Praise it returns to the heavens to fill the sky from the heart of man whom he created. Picture with me for just a moment Love looking like the dew of spring time in the first crack of dawn’s morning, before traffic of busyness starts and the tulips have all come out to play. A layer of Moisture has been Laid and all that lay still Feel its Freshness, brand New and unlike yesterday. For today is new needs, new directions, new turns, new sights. Today Moisture has come to Touch each life that calls and it Sits upon its subject like a beautiful jewel on a crown. It waits so that it can paint a picture so that those it Sits upon can enjoy the moment of it Refreshment. And ALIVE comes the breath of each creation upon earth. ALIVE comes the smiles of all who waited. ALIVE comes all the colors the Dew has Refreshed. The earth is in its return of gratitude for Love has lain upon its ground. Up from the center of its existence come Praise and Laughter and all the tumbling of the days Rejoicing for God has delivered again another day to Praise His Works. The earth shouts to its Maker and the Song of our heart begins to Play. The whole earth begins to Praise as the Dew has Given again and again and again to create Life, His Love Prospers and returns to be lifted on High. The angels rise up and listen for the sound of a Mighty Wave of Praise is coming. Coming from a sound of voices who have been Washed with the Dew of Heaven. Washed by the Cleansing of His Love Given. Returning to the heavens is the sound of the whole earth bringing up its Tunes of giggles and delight for they have Tasted and Received and Shared with other members of this bride of creation such Moisture from on High. God’s Love has prospered. Listen… Listen to the sound of the whole earth REJOICING… It is us… we shout with hearts that those who do not know Him cannot hear. But it shakes the mountains of His Holiness….!  Listen...!

Irresistible Invitation

Amazing how these guys, the New Testament disciples (Matthew the Tax Collector in particular) gave up 'what' they did to follow this Stranger who they amazingly found intriguing, which totally captivated them with something of a smitten heart.  It turned their life into chaos but complete satisfaction and search for no other.  No longer did they follow their 'own' cause but became SOLD OUT to the Walk of Christ rather than, again, their own… even to death..Wow..! Oh how I can relate to their hunger to see and the curiosity of heart to keep looking on.  I have found something that does not involve my vision but 'His'.  It has given me a Song I have NEVER sang before.  I don't know how to describe it... for when I try it changes its Melody and becomes a New Song once again.  Oh how it Softens my weary heart.  I am so captivated by its Sound and Appearance... I look at it with a heart that can Not turn away, but just wait…. wait for even a Crumb… even a Drip from His Substance takes me to another Dimension.  I know what these men found... oh my God... I know what they found!  Understanding of themselves seems so less-than needed for the only thing that matters is what will This Man say next.  How is He doing this?  Where did He get His voice?  Please, Holy One... take me there.  Take me to all You Say.  I KNOW what happened to Matthew...  I LOVE where Jesus said "Follow Me" and his invitation was irresistible … Jesus has made this same appearance and invitation to me and it has been irresistible.  I can NOT understand it… for I am of no value… I am of no good.  Yet, He daily appears to me and says 'Follow Me'.  I don't understand.  WHY??? WHY???? Oh GOD WHY???  What have I done to deserve this?  Suddenly the Storehouse of Heaven has been dumped in my lap and I know not why.  The Songs of His messengers sing with me as worship belongs only to Him and we fill the sky with the Colors of Praise. I have read a hundred times about His Love passing our understanding but I NEVER thought it would be like this.  There is NOOOOO understanding… it is NOT coming..‼‼!  I have thought of this scripture in the past as just a way to let me know it is more than enough… or more than I will need… but TRULY MORE than I could understand… ??  I guess I must of thought I had some sort of understanding of 'not' understanding… but it is absolutely out of the mind. And to accept that I will NEVER understand His Love only causes an explosion of gratitude for what else can I say?  What do you do with non-understanding...?  His Love is so magnetic that every breath I take I'm hoping it will be His Air.  Who am I now??? I don't know… nor I suppose have I ever really known but WHO HE IS has captivated my thoughts until the search seems like I had an invitation… it said 'Follow Me' and I am there…under its Love.  I followed and I know not what to do but continue to follow.  The world may crumble but I have been smitten and His Love has Saturated me in the Sweet Aroma of His New Wine.  I must trust that the steps to His Palace leads the multitude…. Like Matthew… I only know to bid others who are tax collectors and evil minded as myself to come and join this Walk.  You will not understand but you will give up your life and be completely satisfied.  I am MOST UNLIKELY to be His beloved but He Called me.  I don't understand…? 

Can You Imagine God's Love

I look at my cute step-daughter playing the role of sleeping beauty with the hand waving and the high pitched voice singing Ha-Ha-Ha-Haaaa… with my granddaughters so caught up in the fun of imagination, I can’t help but want to dance the dance they are playing. What a place of giggles and sweetness. Sleeping beauty was escorted into the courtyard of birthday affairs by the cutest little pink VW driven by my sweet daughter-in-law Jerrie with the littlest granddaughter not having a clue it was her aunt Sarah… it was a fairy tale in her own back yard. Little Jaidan caught up in this dream as a princess so loved was making her way towards her. Jaidan takes off running towards sleeping beauty… gives her a hug and then runs back to the safety of a granny just in case. What a picture! Who would want to smash this moment for this little princess wearing wings by telling her that the girl she sees in front of her is ‘just’ Sarah…? Oh no, for she has a visual, and mamma Trisha repeats over and over into the heart of her treasured little one how exciting it is to have such a visitor for her birthday. Jaidan’s imagination is allowed to run so many avenues as she stares, smiles and holds her little hand over her mouth and gasps with giggles following. As I watched the scene unfold it was as if time was running in slow motion. I couldn’t help but think that to Jaidan, who awaited the possible touch from such as sleeping beauty, could only wonder if this was her total life right now and this is how life really happens. For to her, today took so, so long in getting here. To become 3 years old was eternity. Finally it was here and it was her moment and it appeared it was going to be everything she was hoping for. She knows only to live in the excitement of these minutes turned as if she owned. What a fun moment! I find that even as an adult, I love imaginations. One of my most favored scriptures is 1 Corinthians 2:6 No one's ever seen or heard anything like this, Never so much as imagined anything quite like it— What God has arranged for those who love him. (The Message) What..? I can NOT even imagine! Oh God, do You KNOW my imagination….? Why, where I work as an administrative assistant for a dental and medical facility… ‘I’ am the tooth fairy..! Oh I love the little ones who want to come close to me and imagine. A week or so ago I was planning on a tooth fairy appearance at a school nearby and after getting all dolled up I went tinker belling over to the dental side and found this adorable little boy not quiet 3 years old. He was captivated. His smile would move a mountain in my books as it was large enough to hold the world. I asked him if he would like to dance. He didn’t hesitate… “ah huh” he said as he reached out both of his little hands, so we danced in the waiting room and giggled, both of us, like little children in our own world. He didn’t want to stop. I asked him if I could pick him up as I looked at momma for her approval also. He couldn’t wait. Oh those eyes!! Looking at me with such heart! Asking about my glitter! Finally when I let him down he went running to his mom telling her all about a ‘princess over there.’ Imagination… so easy for a child (and child-hearts like mine). But what about the scripture that makes such a promise that something so beautiful as our imagination cannot come close to what He has in store for those who love Him. What can I say? You know…. I think I won’t… I think I’m just going to let my imagination go and love on Him…!

Home With God

Father, today with something playing Music in my heart I walked through another day. I seemed to have to listen a little more carefully today for this Music, as my mind was so strong into the stresses that wanted to add noise to the Melody of the day. But now I stop and I bounce back to Your Arms with a much relaxed Knowing Your Goodness was following me in spite of my wondering eyes to gain its own attempt at pleasure. Goodness had me Covered as I literally drove through a storm of wind that had even caused a car to swerve off the road an into the ditch only a few cars ahead of me which slowed us all down. No trucks were driving this major interstate as the wind too much for them. I looked up at the storm all around while the rain beat upon my windshield and I though…’am I safe?’ and with a little worry, I answered my fear with, ‘I hope so’… and drove on slowly. So close to home and yet so surrounded by whirls of power that screamed at me its sounds of ownership of the air. As I looked upward, the rain was making a half circle as it came pouring out of the sky. But there beside me…Goodness was keeping Watch. Your Goodness was holding on to me as I tip-toed down a scary path hoping not to awake something that might demand of me my attention to it rather than my destiny. I wanted to be home. I longed so strongly to be Home. Father I love Home. It as such Delights that keep me intrigued and I can never find boredom. And all the Friends of God are there…Goodness, Mercy, Kindness, Joy, Happiness, Peace, … and on and on are the Gifts that Lift my heart to such Excitements. You melt Your Glory over the earth and we see its Beauty as if it were the Brightness of a million stars when we are Home. Its Life is Spread as far as we dare to see and I can’t wait to step inside each Room as Door after Door is opened by the Miracles of Who You Are come closer and closer to Pull me with Signs to Follow so that I Find You. Thank You for sending Goodness to my side today as I now find myself safe and home. Home with family scattered but only a thought away. Father, send Your Goodness to the side of my family as the wind of storms attempt to distract and bring fear along for the ride. Your Amazing Goodness, sit Close to my children and wrap Big Arms around them as His Spirit Carries them to each Door the Father has placed in their life, while they adventure out, sometimes even a little away from home at times. What a Sweet Comfort to know the Passenger that Keeps them had Protection at the top of its Purpose as I can no longer hold them in guidance as I once did. Now they are grown and I enjoy the giggles of grand children. Father, Home is so Wonderful. Keep us all under the Roof of Your Almighty Home. I love You so much. You are such a Wonderful Keeper. I Hug and Kiss You Tonight…!

God's Protecting Love For A Woman

This morning I read in Genesis 12 where Abraham asked his wife, Sarah, if she would act as his sister to save his life. It does not say she put up a fight or that she disagreed with her husband’s actions, all we know is that she did it. This had to be awkward for it put her in an ‘available’ situation as a single woman; and as expected, Pharaoh took advantage of this beautiful woman’s arrival when the word spread of her appearance in his city. What a talk of the town she must have been and I can’t help but wonder how many opportunities they both had to tell the truth but chose not to until caught. And then something happened that seemed odd to me…Pharaoh’s actions toward Sarah (a single women, as far as Pharaoh was concerned) moved God to turn against Pharaoh’s land with some very serious plagues. That’s interesting…! I have asked the Lord what I should see from this story. A mean, self centered husband (?) a wicked leader (?) a totally submissive wife (?) what? Those were my first impressions after reading a story like this, but as I dig a litter deeper in thought, I am so moved by God’s Love and Protection over this woman Sarah as she surrenders to a request of her beloved. Was Abraham right in asking this…? Apparently not since the plagues rolled in as the effects of his actions takes its toll on Sarah; but what a story of God’s Love on ‘her’ behalf! This really caught my attention, for as a woman we often feel taken advantage of or maybe even used sometimes. But here is a wonderful story of God Almighty’s Protection and His Love for this woman as He Forms the Moves that gives her the freedom she lost…! God is Amazing…!

God has really been dealing with me to make HIM my source. God first, all the time! The steps in doing this seem tremendous and so ‘un’ natural at times. I feel myself stumble, crumble, pleading my own case way too often, only to find His Amazing Faithfulness to me continue. Here is a story, a story between God and a woman. I LOVE it…! God and a woman! God Sees and Knows exactly how to free this woman from a very difficult situation…two commitments, two lives she was living; one the truth, the other a lie. I have to ask myself as I try to apply this story to my own life…What lie did I commit to live that God is rescuing me from? When I am torn and feel like I’m being pulled in to (the plagues have rolled in) … is God making the division in my heart so that I can leave that lie and surrender to the Love and Truth that is mine. God sees me … Watches and Protects. That amazes me this morning with such a deep gratitude. For My SAKE…wow.... for ‘MY’ sake. God, You are more than I could ever understand but I LOVE trying…!!!
 I can’t help but wonder what this story says to other women. Any comments?