Sleepy Eyed

My eyes are open this morning as the sun (Son) has risen to show off its Abundance; Proud to be of Service to my troubled heart.  I stumble out of bed and His Love Directs me to the Fountain.  I slept prior to this awakening with pleas of His Warmth to Come.  With a frown upon my heart I whine of my weakness.  Oh come, I cry, to put a Whistle in the Tune in my voice.   For winter wears down my countenance but the sun (Son) Gives Light and Open Space to Run and Play in the Fields of Gladness.  I tried to build a light but it failed me.  I tried to build a room but it smashed me in its walls.  I tried to carry the load upon my back but it broke me.  Winter set in like a north wind with no where else to go.  And so I slept.  But as I slept the Dreamer Came to my heart.  Softly He Shares the Day ahead.  Softly He Bids me to once again dare to get up another time.  I resisted and awakened lightly to say ‘it’s only a dream’.  But again the Passion Comes to my Inner Room where I left the Door Slightly Open.  Softly again He Whispers His Dream upon my mind and with a Brighter Vision He Bids my whole heart to reach once again.  I struggle, ‘What do I hear?’  ‘What is happening?’  ‘Why is This Troubling me?’  I shut the eyes of my Seeing and sleep. 

Oh but Love is so Sleepless.  Love is Enduring.  Love is Stretched Beyond limits of closed eyes.  Love Walks through boundaries.  Love Shakes with Long Suffering and Determination to Save.  Love never fails.  So I am stirred to Take His Hand and Open an eye.  I am shot with holes of despair but I cannot deny this Light that continues to Wake me.  I lost hope but Hope Keeps Peering into my soul.  The sun (Son) has Shined into my partially open curtains and my sleep is Disturbed.  I roll over and say, ‘not now, let me sleep.’  But the sun (Son) Kisses me Good morning.  Why? I ask.  The sun (Son) says ‘because our Father has Called us.’  Called us to what? I say.  ‘Oh, He has Called us to His Kingdom where all sorrow and pain will be Wiped Away.  Rise and Run with Me, Rise and Work Along My Side for our Father’s Love will Multiply in us.  The Father’s Love will Flood the earth with Its Sweetness and all His sleepers will Awaken.  He is Calling by His Love Abundance.  Awake and See…!’

So sleepy eyed I have dared to think changes.  Sleepy eyed I am peeking into New Hope.  This Brightness is Brighter than my eyes seem to adjust to but I am working slowly to open as Water Falls of Love are Insisting I am its Destiny.  I have agreed to contain its Pool but I know I will soon be Over Flowed with Its Water. 

Maybe I can find another sleepy head and share this Abundance.

Love That Stops the World I Was In

Oh how heavy the heart is when injustice to my Lord comes from my own lips.  Impossible is the pain heard from others.  For doesn’t one cry of despair in the darkness.  Doesn’t a heart find a rock to hide under when the difficulties of exposure becomes the obvious.  Don’t you close the door before you weep with repentance?  The voice comes to you from every corner… arise and do not allow depression to be the covering of your head.  Don’t you Know the God of all, pardons your sin with giggles and songs.  Oh how I have used this garment too long to find my escape from changing my heart.  I am weak with knowledge of my rebellion.  I am crushed of my own sad song.  The city cries, why so glum, know not we are in the midst of a party.  Come celebrate for all the guests have arrived and trimmings have been placed to give us joyful faces.   But my heart returns to its ashes.  Oh how I have failed.  I have failed for I have seen God and not changed.  How broken my heart appears as it bleeds heaviness from the deepness of my insistence.  For His Love Constantly Pours upon my heart!  His Love Scooted me to Safety and I ran back out into the street.  Again, over and over His Love Comes my way and Sings to me Its Purity and Woes me to His Embrace.  I am Saturated with Your Goodness and Mercy and yet I fall into the darkness of my own wants.  I am overcome with sadness and knowledge of my sins.  You Walk in with Full Glory and my heart cried “WHAT? WHAT GOD?”  “Why are You here?”  I look around as I sit in Songs of You.  My eyes begin to search for a visual of this Glory Light that Came in.  WHAT IS HAPPENING?  It Consumes all my walls and extends to overflowing boundaries.  Oh God, I am so weak..!  Oh my Lord, I lie in confusion for I swallow Your Goodness with such gratitude and hunger multiplies.  I walk in the Footsteps of angelic leading from Your Grace but yet I find my own seeking.  I rejoice and play daily as Your Voice Thunders with Beauty I had yet heard.  I give my all to surrender to this Amazing Place.  But with Something New, Your Extreme Outrageous Love comes to my heart for Deeper Understanding.  I am Taken to a New Realm of Love that Builds again with Your Source of Knowledge.  OH GOD I CRY…!  I lower my head as I Soak in the Love that Stops the world I was in.  You Speak!  “I Love…I Love with Passion… I Love with Abundance…. I Love… Oh how I Love with Strength and Beauty…. I Love in Absolute…. I Love with Piercing Eyes Fixed upon each breath I Treasure Given… …. … … those I Discipline.”  Oh Father that Loves me, I am wicked.  I am of constant striving to do right and do wrong.  I am confused in the holiness of rights and wrongs.  Find me seeking, my God.  Find me hoping, my Lord.  But most of all, find me changing.  Oh how I want to change.  Awaken my sleepy eyes and heart and give me Strength to change.  I am waltzing in Your Abundance and I have taken advantage of Your Love.  I repent and find myself leaning in Your Everlasting Arms Knowing even now that I have no fears for Your Love will Prevail.   I am victorious because You Paved my existence to You.  All Your Ways Take me to Joy Overflowing.  I lament as I accept Your Love so Abundant for Discipline which I had yet to experience in this Magnitude.  Love that stirs the heavens to move about. Such unspeakable Love to have within me.  Thank You for Showing me Deeper Love… Love that is so Deep it Stays in a Position until I learn.  Oh God of Righteousness and Purity, Stay in my heart, Work in my heart, as I continue to fall on my face for the escape from my own desires so that the Total Work is Accomplished in me.  Help my unbelief.  Take this and Change me to not just hear Your Love but to be a doer and Follow with Change.

For This I Lean Into

I could NEVER outlove my God, only return to Him my own passion.  But communicating with Him is a Treasure I LOVE...!

I AM the One that your heart saw before you knew you saw me.  I AM was there in the design of your existence.  I AM was there when I placed the breath within your lungs and I Placed my Desires within your tiny heart.  I gave a Plan that would take you to the Road of being who you are.  Your soul was made in the Music of my Pattern.  Listen to the Tune of my Love as you give way to my Sounds.  Step in to my Chambers and know that you are the Harmony of my Melody.   I Took such deep Care in my Creation that the very ancestors of your making is ordained and part of my Plan for your life.  I Am in the making of your walk for eternity.  With your name I have given to you in the Book of Life I have Given you everything of Mine.  Just as you do not understand the process of your birth, neither can you grasp the Total of my eternity.  Just take all of Me and seek the Things of My Kingdom and you will continue to grow as you see a child grow.  For I saw you as I was placing the stars in the sky.  I saw you when I set the earth spinning.  I saw you as the fruit of my Son’s Walk.  I Hear you call Me, I Hear you making the cries of passion.  I Hear you when you do not even know you are speaking.  For this I Lean into the sound of hearts turned to Me.   For this I Search the earth to find my Son’s Adornment;  clothing Him in praise from the Image of His Love.  Reflecting His Walk and Surrendering to the Intimacy He Enjoys.  Keep searching your heart and offering those places to me.  I will Heal and Restore.  I will breaks down walls that divide the heart with fears.  I will Place the Solid of My Heart within you and Build your Trust in me.   My Hand is in Constant Work for the Union of my Son’s bride as Reward for eternity. 

God, the Wonder of all existence, I bow my heart to the Sounds of Your Love.  I bow the gift of Your Making to Your Design of Love.  With a grateful heart I make my sounds of love in return.  Not with my voice but with my doing and being I offer the song of my own love as I raise what I have been Given to Your Ears so Turned toward me.  You Make Known Your Love in constant Flow to my life and I lay softly in the Arms of Your Passion.  You Rescue me from all harm with Knowledge of what will help me grow to know more clearly Your Total Accomplishments of Completeness.  I sing my la-la-la’s with the heaven’s choir to sing love much deeper than words of my own comprehension.  I sing with heart of His Love and as a child of You, the I Am.  For my body dances when the world see’s no movement, I sing while the world hears no sound.  I seek while the world sees only outward gathering.  I am a temple of Your Intimacy soaked in the Midst of Thick Clouds that forbid me to move quickly but Encourage me to Stay and Talk and Commune with the Sounds of this New Love Song.  Each moment Richer than the moment before; each Sound clearer than previous Sound to the heart of one who stays to study.  I ponder this Place with the eyes of my heart searching diligently for there is so much to explore.  I desire to stay in Your House and will make all the arrangements I can to live here.  Keep me here, Guided by the Light of Your Wonders.  Keep me here in Your Presence.

Caught by the Eye of God?

In my walk that appears to me so short,

I stop

and marvel as I look forward

and think how

detailed

I am at working to complete today

for it happens one second at a time;

and then,

I marvel at His Eye upon it all.

 

His Eyes

that Move while I consciously live

by breathing in and out

to remain awake, asleep, as I communicate

with each moment given. 

So long ago

His Breath

was Breathed in my soul

and in the Secret Place I stayed. 

Caught by the Eye

of the Mighty One

I have stumbled

as His Love has Encouraged me

night and day to Follow

His Sent One. 

Upon the earth I walk as

‘one’

He Looks upon,

and together I form with many

the 'Pupil'

of His Eye. 

Caught

by His Eye Stayed

as I breathe in and out the

Air He Gives so that

His Glory

is Revealed

and His Eye continues

to Focus

for much Bigger Means than I,

yet Detailed for me.   

Warmed by His Presence

as

His Eye Promises

to not leave my thoughts

or life,

nor even the heart of my mouth. 

Caught by

His Eye

He was Grieved the wrong against me

and Sealed His Love Toward me

to Carry me far from it. 

Caught by His Eye

I have been

Washed by the Promise. 

Taken Back,

taken far Back

to This Promise that Lived

also on earth

and

First Caught the Eye

of God for

me. 

 As this moment gives way,

a fresh hunger is upon my heart

that Breathes this Truth.  

For my Father Looks upon

me,

and each move

‘I’

make is Seen through

His Eye

upon this Truth. 

Filtered by Extraordinary,

Supernatural

One Sent for me. 

I have been

Caught

by His Eye and He Looks upon

me

with Love. 

Now as my understanding grows

of His Focus of me,

out comes a prayer

of my heart

to Satisfy

His Sight of me. 

A cry develops

for help to Press

into this Visual Knowledge

of His Search

and All Seeing Eye. 

May I humble my ways

so that

I

yield to the Wooing of my heart

to

His Kingdom

while I continue

my Praise

of He who Loved me

First

and died

that I find His Eye Satisfied…!

His Canvas

The Canvas of God’s Glory upon the earth, the skies, the universe, holding the magnitude of unknown and Beauty.  God who is everywhere and has painted His Wonders for eyes to see as we peel away our own understanding and the flesh of our demands.  Daring to step inside a realm not Given but to His own.  Watching with eyes of a heart rather than eyes of flesh.  His Canvas built upon a Solid Truth and Stacked to the heavens with Mighty Abundance.  Twilling the earth so that we miss nothing as it circles the Son and allows its Light inside the core of our heart.  And there in the Canvas a Portrait of His Love is Given with the Colors of His Substance too numerous to count or identify.  Even in my darkest time I find that God is still Painting, still Writing upon the Canvas of His Love Displayed in me. I sing my New Song this morning that Bubbles forth from the Spring within.  For I am a part of His Canvas and no man has the means to purchase or take under its Setting.  I am Etched into the Rock and my words will be Displayed for Eternity.  I am a Focus of Detail and my Form is in Process of Creation.  Time is His as each Color of my being is Transforming to the Image of His Love for the Groom’s Delight.  I am being Pampered for the Tenderness of Beauty for His Embrace.  Waiting upon the Day of Union when I the bride will be Called to Gather with His Creation and Sing with eyes for none other.  Paint now my God, Paint Your Love upon my heart and Blend with the Array of Your Glory for the Day of the Wedding is near.  I surrender to His Passion for me.

Search Me Oh Lord

Psalm 139:23-24

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

God has me in a ‘search’ mode.  Gosh, I love His Love Potions drenched upon my heart so much better, where I shower in a Place that tickles of His Passion.  I love His Lap of Pleasures as I sit up so tall and tell Him of all my journeys of fun adventures and His Smile returns to my eyes with Sincere Warmth.  As I talk, He Rubs my thoughts with His Approval and Tenderly He Encourages me to continue.  It swells up as I become amazed at His Love so un-Judging and with such long-Suffering to Cover my silliness and just enjoy and delight in our time together. He Listens as I learn what a Love Relationship is built with.  I marvel.

I read a scripture yesterday that startled me.  It is about a rich ruler that came to Jesus in Luke 18.  The ruler wants to know how to inherit eternal life for he had kept all the laws as far as he knew.  The ruler’s approach was even to address Jesus as ‘Good’.  Jesus heard him call him appropriately and returned a question that was really a Declaration of this ruler’s understanding and Depth of knowledge the ruler had of Him (Jesus) as Jesus/God was One.  As the ruler told Jesus all he had done, Jesus did not say 'oh no you didn't...!' Jesus asked him, ‘why do you call me Good… only One is Good and that is God.’  I could see something I have always been puzzled about.  This ruler actually did what he had said he did and he saw God that dwelled in Jesus for no answer to His question was made but just what Jesus/God felt the ruler was to do to inherit this Kingdom of eternal life.  I use to wonder if Jesus was saying He wasn’t Good… but that never made sense to me.  This startled me as I realize I too SEE God, asked God what to do.  Do I then turn and say,,,, ‘geesseeeee, why are You asking something so big of me, isn’t that a bit overboard?’   Something inside wept as I identified with the knowledge of God, the seeing of His Mercy, the understanding of His Word… a visual of God and often find the inability to make the change to my weakness.  I weep this morning as I continue to pray…

Psalm 139:23-24

 “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”  

Father, that Treats me to the Abundance of Your Table day and night.  My Lord that Carry’s my burdens and Lifts my countenance as each day arrives.  I am in mourning for my flesh is found weak.  I am in weariness for my desire is to take in more of You and yet I am faulty with what I know.  Father, Forgive me, oh my God, Forgive me, and Thank You for Covering me with the Righteousness of Jesus’ Blood that was Shed which allows me to be Bold with my heart’s need to change.  Jesus Loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so.  I have risen to Heights of Amazements as I wonder in the Gardens of Your Love.  I have known above understanding the ability of Your Power to Save.  I now come as an adult but with child like assurance of Your Response for my good.  For You only are Good; You only are found without fault.  I am in working of this Word that Dwells in the center of all my thoughts and decision and weep for the times I have heard You Call and I respond with ‘that is too much’.  Father, Your Yoke is easy, Your Burden is Light.  I am sorry for I know Your Heart is to Heal, and yet I stumble in that knowledge.  I know Your Love is to Cover, and yet I stumble by accepting it but not giving it.  I know Your Salvation was sent to Place ‘ME’ in high Places and yet I am found placing others lower.  Jesus came to earth laying down ALL to only Follow Your Way, yet when I don’t get my way I whine and become bitter.  Father I repent and find Your Grace so Abundant.  I know my strengths but I am weeping over my weaknesses.  I can and will only be satisfied with Your Love that exposes my weakness for Your Glory to be shown.  I rest in the Guidance and Comfort that Your Word is over me.  Lead me to Your Righteousness...!

Hebrews 4:15

For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.    

I hold to Your Understanding above my own.  I keep pressing in to that Mark that You have Set for me for You Understand.  I am excited for Your Direction is Full of Joy and Satisfying.  I look to the Mighty Given Source with a grateful heart as I stand under the Blood of Jesus who has not only Paved this Way for me but IS NOW Guiding me to Your Kingdom of Righteousness to Reign.  In and by the Name of Jesus who is Hosanah the Highest and my Conquering King.

Women of Bitterness

I must cry with passion this morning for I have just implanted within my heart a beautiful story.  A story His Spirit quickened me to open, to rehearse and ponder as the morning sun rises to say hello.  Oh with Joy I see His Salvation.  With Comfort I see His Hand so large it Holds all.  I am centered in His Hand with room to roam as It Covers my heart and path to explore.  I see birds playing in the trees as the morning give it’s offering to their needs.  From tree to tree they scatter to glean from what their Creator has provided so that today a song escapes to cause the music of Praise echo their flight.  So effortless they soar and mindless to play as earth has abundance to wonder.  And so I sing.  And so I soar.  For I am more Worth, says He who constantly Proves He Loves me.  In my busyness I fly from place to place scattering to find the provision of my needs, for my Creator has Laid out the Harvest for me to Glean His Love, and my Baskets become abundantly full in so much I cannot consume it all.  How sweet to watch as many Drop their best for me to gather, this Love Brought to me, so I too may lay it at the feet of my circle.  For I have daughters of blessings.  Those of Great Price such as the story unfolds in the Book of Ruth, oh how sweet that my Beloved Took my heart to, this dawn of His Day.  This women was given the name of Naomi, but from her loss Naomi changes her name to Bitter for she had tasted the riches to plant and grow life among her loves and yet fallen to lose it all.  Her heart was of great love for her family and this new place of loss made her grow bitter.  But God was placing the Fruit of His Provision around her so her Path would be made clear and she dared to let go of her old god and follow back to the Home, the God of her heart.  Then His Miraculous again gave way to her eyes as she found favor among her circle.  One was devoted to her, one was sincere, one was hungry for what she saw and heard from within the heart of a beginning.  So she remained attached and God gave Favor as birthed within the one so devoted came the son of, the son of, the son of David the King, the man after her God’s heart.  To Glean the Fields of His Kingdom brings the Harvest of Riches unknown, tomorrows of Joy, dances of the Flight of Lightness.  Good morning Son of the Most High to whom was born through the linage of one so broken and bitter.  Bright is the Light that You are Wrapped in and Powerful to Remove bitter from the soul as Son shines to chase away unwanted deeds of darkness and gloom.  For on goes the Life of the inheritance of faithfulness to generation to generation.  On goes the Praises of my heart for I am Blessed with Your Favor.  My children are Carried to hear the Heart Beat of Your Love and Stolen to its Warmth will be their Heart as well.