Dancing with my heart, my words, my song, and my love, before my God…


But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who
LOVE YOUR NAME may rejoice in you. Psalms 5:11

Friday, May 17, 2013

Christians Are The Biggest Killers, He Said

Eternal gathering to praise One that sits beside the Father.  How loud the questions on earth of One so God/man.  How precious is the conversations as we seek His Name.

Beautiful heart, one I met today.  “Jesus is not the way”, he says, “what a folly”.  

I felt unknown, I felt as if I were standing with a name but no substance.  Funny my reaction to a bold, well thought through conclusion. 

Conversation continued and I heard, “you’re different” he says.   

It was as if a faintly image of my soul began to be visible.  Smiles mixed with a few high pitches, eyes piercing as if it must go deep into my being declares, 

“Paul created Christianity and Christians are the biggest killers.”   

Oh my heart begins to pray, ‘Poppa, you love this one, I know.  Touch places I can’t go.’  Out comes history, pain filled history a life obviously struggled to make pieces form reasons.  I cry with my heart with him.  

I still my need to be right, my foolish want to overpower painful wrong with ‘my’ truth that will cut and leave him dead AGAIN by a Christian.  I openly declare the God I seek is so vast, so far from my conclusions.  

We meet together under excitement that people can speak one on One to God.  We find strength.  

Stories begin to flow back and forth, stories far beyond what we can ever totally understand that the bible gives.  

But voiced from pain he says, “Folly, created to throw human against human.” 

Again his confidence shows many years of spreading.  But strange how love works.  It loses attack mode when all the bullets have been removed.  He says the ‘Name’ Jesus and shares what a wise man He was, not God, but a wise man.  Cracks begin to happen and I believe he knows it, but since ‘safe zone’ is our stand, comments further to give even another wonder for me to ponder.  He admits that he practices what Jesus teaches.  Yum, that throws me into a search.  

I listen and then it comes to the resurrection and though he is convinced it too is folly, his approach is amazingly weakened.  Finally before we return to our own individual focus, 

he says, “a mystery, it remains the biggest mystery, the resurrection.” 

~

Poppa, I seek You, I am subject to so many threats and accusations and I fall so short of knowing.  Why have we tangled our laws to strangle the souls of another?  Oh Teacher, teach me.  See my books, see my paper, see my heart open to learn.  See me sit under the Word that is and was with God and became flesh.  Forgive me when I rise up and strike my thoughts to others like a knife I intend it to be.   I lay at Your feet and I listen to the song as You sing.  

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Peace - Lost Connection With My Sinful Heart


Sweet sounds not heard around me
Released from my heart to Yours, Lord. 

My smile speaks a whisper
that I continue to give,
as it reveals what my thoughts create
from seemingly the same thought
yet it generates as if it is new,
moment by moment. 

Silence is not silent at all
but shooting forth from my being
like an explosion heard from city to city. 

I have touched love and it gives light. 
I have touched love and it soars to His throne
this message I send. 

I fall toward the suggestion to come. 
Close my eyes in surrender to its pleasure. 
I have lost connection
with my sinful heart
and walked into glory,

which defines
His realm of Peace.  


My breath becomes irregular as I try to consume too much cloud that has engulfed me.  

I pause to soak love in return for my entrance.  My heart begins to sing.  

Sing oh heart, sing the Name that it beats for…!  I hear its sound; hear it now…. Ahhhha ahhhhhh  J-E-S-U-S, the Name sounding, coming in waves of tinkling notes then pounding to beats of loud attendance.  Jesus, again the Name sounds and a magnitude of pictures pose before me to bring His face so beautiful.  Ahhhhh, ahhhhhhh Jesus, softening now, ahhhh Jesus, His Name sounds, and I melt as if it is a substance pouring over me.  

I cry for I am so lost and He assures me ‘never’.  “But”, I want to say; and He takes me and somehow I know He has this amazing understanding that is all of what heaven is about.  

My face exposes my cry - I can’t live how I want to live, just and holy before Him.  I sob from inside out, for His pureness brings out such difficulties within me. 

He steps in front of me and it’s as if I see His eyes looking across to me, eyes to Eyes reaching to each other.  We stare.  I do not know what He will say.  

I wait.  

I wait.  

I wait.  

Then, weakening by His love speaking, I am encouraged to sit, rest. I become aware of the tightness that had griped me like a rope around me heart.  I inhale as I begin to feel a change.  I breathe in again His gaze, for He remains before me.  

I look again with a heart that loves but stretches too hard to find.  Could it be, could it really be? A resting that brings its wonders greater than any sleep could ever perform.  Could this moment be a Sabbath my soul longs for.  

It’s like I am in a garment created for me, totally outfitted for comfort.  I lose the sense of where I am for my neck has to twist and turn to examine freedom it is having a hard time understanding.  

My soul has the softness of rain refreshing the air I breathe to the dry ground my heart walks with.  My shoulders are loosed and I raise them to verify what I feel is real.  

My arms are lifted to the sky as His Name again begins to form from my thoughts to a song I want to sing.  A song that dances with every word spoken. 

Jesus, You mark my heart with joy.
Your glory colors my eyes with songs.
I dance as Your Name showers me with heaven.

Jesus, keep me everywhere You are
That I lose connection with my sinful heart.
I love You, I love You, I love You.

Jesus, You win my love in abundance.
Your the song that makes me dance.
I bring my heart to play in the kingdom of Your Name 

Jesus, keep me everywhere You are
That I lose connection with my sinful heart.
I love You, I love You, I love you.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Tears That Speak The Unknown


Take all the jumbling thoughts I have in my mind Poppa, forgive those that question You; that search for prof as if the worldly mind can understand Spirit.  Forgive me for missing so often Your song that sings to me the abundance of compassion and I cry thinking it is chains to tie me to my sorrow. Confused I sort through my thoughts as if I could pick and choose night and day.  Your glory falls and I tumble until Spirit comes to rest upon my heart that I fear not.

Spirit flow freely as I turn my heart to eyes watching for what is happening around me.  As Your love continues to rush in, melting hardness and bitterness, I rise above ground that thinks it can hold me down.  My soul that struggles, loses the jabs that tailored themselves specifically to my weaknesses.  Circling, Your Face strikes its stare as I rise and fall in trials and tribulations; taking me to a kingdom made as Jesus lives and breathes in me.
 
What are tears, Poppa, during these times?  Why does this flow so often take me to this reaction?  Is it that I feel the hurt of my broken heart or might it be I am experiencing Your broken heart?  Is it power that signals emotions above a walk about with earthly pleasures as my consumption?   Will I ever be able to stand as Spirit renews my mind, as my heart watches Your work?  Have I yet to see the rise of my walk?

As I am drawn into Your love, tears smile upon my face as all my body rises to be soaked in abundance.   I know only to continue to watch.  For I am at rest that Spirit has a pull richer than any question or search this worldly mind can understand.  Broken to come, broken to be unfolded and march through a kingdom that sets before me a pathway.  Broken to see Your glory that blinds me to be guided only by Teacher.

So Spirit swirl with Your wind as quickly and extravagant us You only know I can gain.  Ignite Your fire under my love-sick soul to burn as a red fiery sight, as love flows with sparks that crack and snap while I walk.  Take my breath and may it fan this flame as my thoughts wither under the repentance of my souls return to see Your Face.  Tears that speak unknowns, be the strength that heals all hidden sins into light as if purifying the finest of gold. 

Spirit join me in the instruments of praise from universe to universe, heaven to earth, east to west… the forever song joined by saints and angels.  Spirit join my conversation spoken and heart unspoken of His love to the winds that chime beauty as unspeakable and so full of glory.  Weave who I am to the canvas of His song of truth.  Cause my voice, my heart to be what contains the echoes of Holy that lives within me. 

Move mountains, move valleys, stretch oh soul, for the King takes me to dance in His kingdom brought through Jesus, my deliverer… to the Song of all songs.

Logic Gone

Hi Poppa, 
I’m so tired and yet I am so fulfilled 
from abundance of  Your love 
that has washed over me recently.  

So fresh 
is the pictures of Your face 
before me as life swiftly embraces me 
with opportunities to find You calling.  

I’m running, 
running to this fire 
that can open me up in a split second 
and then mend what spills 
by the wonders of Spirit’s voice 
just as fast.  

Love fascinates, intrigues me 
with such extreme; 
I push with all I've got 
to get there.  

Pushing with all I've got
because I've yet to learn 
the art of achievements 
to rest in this race worth my life.  

When love faces me so close 
I feel its breath,
I lose all logic 
on how it came, 
just that it is here 
and I am wading it its substance.  

Moving about has this simple song 
vibrating within 
that steals all my wants 
and packages them 
into an enormous explosion of joy.

And I wonder....
How did I get here?

Logic gone!
But I'm changed and refreshed.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Summoned By Royalty


A King has called 
and I swing open my desires, 
running to the embrace of One who calls.  

Summoned by Royalty 
to the city of a great King, 
I rise up and come.  

His voice has lifted 
to blow a trumpet 
for this call to be heard 
loud within my heart.  

Hear, oh soul, 
hear and giggle; 
for His choice calls your name.   

Watching are His subjects, 
angels who have curiosity of my life, 
my moves, 
my response.  
Cheering is heard in heaven 
as I lift my eyes to answer His love.  

Building joys upon joys, 
I experience amazement 
of awakened life.
 
Where was all this joy moments ago?  

Where were the visions this heart now sees?  
Was this sound whispering 
to my deadened heart, 
yet its power 
able to explode the thickest of walls?  

Oh heaven come to earth.   

Set Your testimony 
with power within me.   
I yearn, 
I plead; 
I beckon to consume 
all that wisdom will allow.  

As my being 
kisses this marriage, 
this union of salvation; 
my sons will be touched 
by the force love insists upon.  

Dry bones within us 
will live 
for life cannot be taken from Spirit. 

Rescue me 
to recognize You Poppa, 
by the Name Jesus (kingdom) 
left for me 
to touch and feel 
as Spirit blows.  

Oh heaven, come!  

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Shaken In Piercing Love Attacks

Reach to all the hiding places, Lord.  

The places that I try so hard 
to hide from You.  

As I walk so softly to these nightmares, 
I know that Spirit 
has my hand 
and I can be healed of these unknowns.   

You are so mighty 
that You can heal 
what I don’t know, 
while I walk not knowing 
it was walking 
I was unable to do.  

Lost, 
I search for only my eyes to be open, 
to love that fills this hunger 
You created in me.   

Watching Your work 
in me 
causes me to breath differently; 
slower, 
more focused to life 
rather than some expected end.  

Your work gives this disturbance 
of my empty soul 
a shock that turns all bitter into sweet.  

With every nip that goes through me, 
squeezes me to take notice, 
I rush to the next nibble 
I might find if I dare to look.  

What are You doing, 
my soul responds?  

What did You say, 
my heart questions?  

Why did You come, 
my mind tries to keep up?  

When does this change my soul 
to the rich eyes of understanding?  

Created in me 
is this love for Your Name, 
the Kingdom Jesus brought, 
and yet the fight 
to bring in my trash, 
my dirty clothes 
to the city of Pure.  

Forgive me Beautiful One 
as I look upon such wonder, 
set me as an example 
of Your passion 
by allowing me to see freedom 
in giving up my life.  

My eyes open 
to see the fire 
that burns upon the earth.  

Oh that I give You all glory 
that I might be 
in the mysterious grove of passion 
that takes a hold of my heart 
so what I see 
is the un-matched sounds 
of Holy while it works in me.  

Shaken with piercing love attacks, 
I roll in the softness 
of reestablishing the foundation 
of Your purpose for mankind.  

The east is not far enough 
from the west 
to show how large 
Your love is for me.  

Asleep in the Rest 
of Your care, 
I place my days 
for the total maximum 
I could obtain 
from Your eminent friendship.  

For I am a wondering pilgrim, 
set on staying 
inside this kingdom of Jesus’ Name.  

Unfolding is the Spirit 
that sing in this kingdom 
that rescues me 
from all harm (my own disorders) 
and washes my feet 
that I walk 
in His pure life given.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Do You Really Want To Waste Your Love On Me

How grateful to know my own love could NEVER exceed God’s love and yet ridiculously how many times I measure God’s love according to how I love another.  For surely God ‘would do’ this or He ‘wouldn't work' this way - completely operating from my own conclusions.

I must remind myself; for I fail desperately in loving those assigned to walk in my path; creation He loves..!

And I do not speak such foolishness to work into some sort of condemning place for mankind but to ponder the wondrous love that reaches so far past my own love or what I have seen and analyzed as love. With great desire I plead to understand more of His ravishing love and allow it to pour upon me, for only then can I give freely.  Each portion of His love that imparts within my heart is potential for abundance to change me and those I wish to love. 

Oh to lift up my soul and experience what it does inside and all around me. 

To humbly cry.  Cry for whatever it takes to wait as love develops, even through my impurities, the cracking crumbling of my hardened heart for His hand to mend. 

Be still oh my soul.  Peace reach to the fallen heart that whines for unhealthy love of mankind and  turn me inside out so that I am open for real love.  With the greatest stretch I look for Hope.  Seeking Hope’s face to hold my arms too often weary. 

Hope, take away the voice inside that wants divine love wrapped up in pretty man made smiles, please; as I scream out of control…don’t forget to mention all I have faithfully called ‘good’. 

But miraculously, even on this edge of insanity, His heart of spotless pure motives, sweep in with precious love rules of unmerited, undeserved grace to cover all my missing marks, with His assortment of perfect discipline.

Deeper and deeper insight walks to pick me up, shows me how ‘I’ am singled out with the dynamics of every cell in my body, this love that proves it will not remove its eyes from me.

Captured by tender thoughts, 
yet while I am being carried 
I caution God, 
“Do you really 
want to waste 
Your love on me?”  

Again I measure my worth according to how I might love even my deepest loves.  Easily I have concluded how one could get along without me. 

It’s as if then I see 
His tears begin to form 
for the loss He feels.  

Now, I've done it…!  But I dare to take a second look, He remains in a stance of waiting.  Somehow I feel He will wait day and night for me. Really, I think? 

Oh God, REALLY, day and night? 


I begin to  see a new picture.  A picture of His son Jesus, there on the cross waiting to die.  Hanging in pain with hope for me.  That "Hope"  I keep looking for, was taken to extreme so I could carry its power in every situation I would cross.  Hope for now, hope for my future, hope for my children, hope for the eternity spoken of for me.  

Hope, precious hope that enters a bride in waiting, as her eyes frantically watch all details to be its best within her creative heart and mind.  

The joy of hope begins to swell as love plants itself within the soil of my heart; maturity to being born again into His kingdom. 

My prayer changes…!  Come, oh Holy One, come and show me more about steps to the arms who longed for me before I was born.  It isn't about me any more, it is about His love.  This heart stopping pain where I cannot believe His love so deep, disappears.  His most precious gift was sent and hope stirs all my senses to hear each plea made for me to be lead to His lap that He might cuddle me in riches and rejoice in His creation of me.  

Hear me sing to the dance of such love, I am Yours…!  This hope is Your Hope in me!