Crippled

The heaviness of morning can, at times, feel so permanent. It takes a miracle of thought, which You give out so abundantly, to pull into the comfort of trusting and believing all things will work to my good. The struggle has my mind rolling about in false facts I can’t lose. It’s as if there is a conference going on in my heart and the subject is all about judging the day, person, or event. The run to my comfort addictions, mess with the schedules of walking by faith, not by sight. A pack of deployed messages invades with force as I wobble to fight or surrender. My thoughts wander; how can I ever survive this battle. I’m troubled with the keeping of what I have, to the keeping of what I have deemed to be mine. Throwing suggestions out like bombs of war so this invisible trouble maker (lies and/or truth) can see I’m a fighter.  I can feel, with passion, the struggle reaches far past my own abilities and has a Warrior about my business.  Yet, as I watch and experience, I can question the outcome I might visualize happening. I have indeed become even my own enemy full of slack and self-power I hold as weapons.

I sense I am surrounded by my worst enemy now… myself!

In full armor, I know my weaknesses and I bleed with attacks. I cover my wounds with even more poison as infectious thoughts declare my near-death to the enemy of my soul. I find a pool of magical waters where angels come and stir the healing of mind, body, soul. I lay my mat as close as I can get and rest. Resting in the final decisions of self-burdened lost hope, I wait. Moments become hours. Hours become days. I now live in my norm, the rest that takes all of me to its destiny of despair. What I laid down to experience, I now live as the ruin of my misfortune… I believe I am crippled.

A stranger came by. His life impacted my soul to look upon Him. I find fire within that does not give explanation, only curious findings to explore. I am watching as He passes. As I judge Him immediately, this Outsider makes a move toward me. I know I must sorrowfully explain my dilemma again, as I have millions of times to others. I have now developed a familiar line of defeat that seems to give those of hearing a cause to pause before continuing their own self-owned misery.

The transition of conversation begins. I speak my anguish but I am unfamiliar with the work of Words being delivered to me. They do not make sense to my mind that has warred for so long. The tingling that these Words cultivate creates a connection that gives me vivaciousness as it becomes a rule. I dare follow? I have longed for this moment and yet here I lay in my conclusions I am crippled. I cannot, screams my judging heart.

And suddenly I hear… Come On!  Come, pick up your life story and walk with Me. Come on!

I lose fear as this Unknown comes to raise me back into hope. Exuberance is exchanged for my apathy and I am standing before I hardly realize I made the choice to do so. Fire within long ago had been burning; I had just lost the knowledge of it. What I deemed as permanent was a self-crippling message placed to give my finale (whether my day or my life) a blow to keep me down.

But, the Savior came and looked upon me with passion and desire. He took my self-condemned heart I accepted and gives me the very opposite message that I am NOT CRIPPLED.  Then He tells me His Name.  He says He is Jesus and He is the Way, Truth, and Life. His Message will keep me strong and my legs will walk in power by the Word of my testimony. As I travel in the enemy’s camp (lies), I will be victorious and not fall. I can follow Him and live alive within His Kingdom. His Name brings salvation and He knew me before I saw Him. He was there when I was conceived; the design and placing of my life were well considered. I am whole in His Love. I am whole, spotless, blameless, and His greatest desire. Just follow. His Voice will live within me and I will be brave.

Mornings of glory will become days of glory. Days will become years. An eternity of glory will be mine…

Revelation 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony (LIFE STORY); and they loved not their lives unto the death.

John 5:1-8 Sometime later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals. 2 Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. 3 Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. 5 One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

7 “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

8 Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat (LIFE STORY) and walk.” 9 At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

Melody Flavored With Heaven's Drip

Your love, my Lord, has me passing through time with the Song of Your Words and life. You give this Presence with an eternal dance of thoughts composed of dreams and visions of richness. You cause the hum of my heart to follow its destiny, its sweet sounds of only one, then another, then yet another to make up its melody flavored with Heaven’s Drip. I watch my own life be carried into Arms of Love designed to change me from glory to glory, darkness into Light… the wonders of transforming my mind. This has no beginning or end and yet the likeness of stepping into a galaxy of the display, fully arrayed with the new of sights and emotions. 

Is this First Love? 

Is this forever Love? 

Is this the Place where time is no more?

I unwrap all fear and boldly look upon these Eyes that are fixed upon me. I experience being consumed in Unspeakables. Where language has the second place, and can never keep up. Where Holy, Holy, Holy explodes in its own dance and I connect to its beauty. Found running with the emotions that appear to be completely shut down, and I'm lost into the now; extremely satisfied to stay, only to be waiting for the next ultimate Word of Life mirror my Lord’s Heart.

Passion, is this Passion? 

Revelation, is this Revelation? 

Tears, what are you saying? 

Breathing, what are you working for? 

Caught in wonderful, beauty… glorious play with my Lord, caught in the Message of timeless Love, my questions hold my soul in such a desire of this Song. 

Are You the Lover of my soul? 

Am I being revealed to Heaven’s armies? 

Would this be a hedge that Heaven’s Walls create on earth?

Oh, how my soul loves the movements of desire. How cautious it feels to experience words carefully laying out the heart toward You. How deep these words go to the bottom of my soul.  What an emptying of passion unknown to be there. A Romance that cannot discern if it is coming or going, only to wander about and find enough.

When the surprise of Love sends its choreographed plea, I walk from crippled to miracles of dance. From the waves of stillness to extreme unseen but fully alive movements of answering its call.  To be transformed from earth’s definition of dance to One who formed the Life within. Where the Call has Power to cause exchanges of dead cells to live cells. Where satisfaction comes by accepting the operation of Love. 

The coals of its lasting Fire are placed upon my lips and expression is far more than just the tone escaping from such overflow. Sometimes, just the stop has the weight of such beauty, I can only ah while everything within me forms a smile.

Oh, dance with me, Lover of my soul! 

The Melody flavored with Heaven's Drip!

First Time Love Forever

Waiting… just waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Oh Lord, this hurts and it burns. I find such pain here. Waiting feels like the empire state building is sitting upon my shoulders and I have no one to rescue me. Waiting has the torture of a thousand needles penetrating into every part of my soul… each one screaming to get its way rather than wait.

And yet…. I am singing as my whole body moves with gracious songs playing inside my heart. Redeeming my wait with an occasion to rejoice unlike any other praise I have ever walked through. Could each wait be a mighty watch that kills the enemy’s plots to steal, kill, and destroy? Could my thoughts be in lock-down as the angel armies battle a battle I am unable to see or even identify at the moment?

For Holy, Holy, Holy escapes the pores of my being. Rejoicing takes the worry and fret into hiding, as strength passes within. I hear my soul literally crying out for the Wind to come. Come and move my soul into the Presence of Almighty God without fear. Take the words of my heart and spill them before a Place of Beauty. Where the beginning and end has the wonders of excitement. Growth and goodness gives the body a makeover as it did Jesus on earth. Taking Him into exactly what He was put upon the earth for.

Unfailing Love is a Force that put my life into existence. Force of Love wanders even now upon earth to find those who have swallowed such Love given, and dances the gift of arms locked in each other’s embrace. Interchanging thoughts and life emotions, Love reaches in a search of its own kind. 

Unfailing Love creates again and again 

so that I experience ‘first time’ Love forever.

How can this be? I have no answer except to lay my life within it. Take my heart and surrender to such outrageous Love pouring. How can I resist? Why would I resist? For what has more to offer than this Great Love? Could I even imagine such greater?  For I find such minor irritations can show itself as monsters of might, but Great Love resizes the way my eyes look upon them and gives clearly a vision of His Love lifted so high, it reaches beyond. Until… I am gone. Gone to what has captured me into a realm of so much more than bread along. 

My heart has called and He came. Love seals the wait into a perfect Place. I arrived…! How?  Don’t know… I arrived.  What now? Don’t know… I arrived!  I’ve arrived in a miracle. A MIRACLE (Creation in work with the results of my human soul). A miracle I shout over and over…. A miracle.!!!!

Waiting… the miracle I wanted but needed eyes to see. Waiting… a beautiful Place!

Quiet Shut-down

This day gives me a new quiet place 

with my Father. 

Feels like a shut down 

but I continue to experience a new peace.

A Quiet Shut-down 

Amazing to wander about 

in such a love 

that fascinates the mind. 

Surprises make life exciting. 

But what about expectations? 

Can I really lose this familiar 

so called friend (expectations) 

I’ve learned to believe?

As I lay pride aside, 

I'm hoping 

to find a walk that exist 

to give perfect peace 

with all the trimmings 

of beautiful surprises.  

My heart has not changed 

(I want what God is) 

but the path to this higher level 

may be greatly changed. 

Papa God, You experience 

the weep I do. 

Your Holy Spirit isn't being held back 

as I wrestle with my soul. 

I invite You to the center 

of this self-talk 

as the most serious Voice 

I could hear. 

Oh please, manage the scrabble 

of words and emotions 

that all find worth 

until exposed as death 

not life! 

It's okay to sit here and sob 

in a room full of people 

yet it does not appear any one has a clue. 

For this is a heart adjustment 

not a play to enlarge 

my imaginary followers 

to bow at my appearance. 

I'm asking my Pharaoh moments 

be crushed before I can hurt anyone else! 

Every fall be a record 

of Your enlightenment to Your children 

and not my insistence 

in where I can find a speck of self glory. 

Your Words lead on! 

I've never been disappointed. 

What could I ever be afraid of? 

I'm in Your health care facility 

and You have let 

the nurses(Angels) know I'm here. 

I'm in the waiting! 

Watching the action 

that is shattering darkness about me!  

I am being lead by a supernatural world 

that has the Sweet Name 

of miracles to show me Real! 

Fear takes on new leadership 

and becomes the 

beginning of Wisdom. 

Shaking is from joy unspeakable! 

JOY un-writable 

but completely saturated in experience. 

Vision and dreams coming alive 

with something more 

than approval needed of man/women!!! 

Fully Face to face 

with eyes matched to want good. 

Power that longs for Heaven 

as Truth feeds my appetite 

while I agree 

to its fulfilling waves of enjoyment. 

Who I am takes on Your description 

as I listen 

instead of heave forth 

troublesome attacks of dry places.

Waiting is 

being in Arms of Heaven Time 

instead of a calendar’s time slot 

doomed to expire 

or judged from self-accuracy. 

Waiting is listening to a song 

while work is being done. 

A Quiet Shut-down

Blows Upon The Angels

The trembling of love has my heart in its captured position of please forever… please. 

I have been to the edge of my life and find only love to be the form of substance I can sing of, and always return to find it faithful to build. My heart tells me such amazing options within Love’s embrace. The dance, or song, or speech that finds the highest of atmospheres to go, takes the journey with joy as its source of energy. 

The trembling of love reaches beyond 

and into my breath; 

and blows upon the angels, 

who watch and find 

the aroma to be the blessing 

of being formed for Purpose.  

I’m carried to wonder about in abundant.  I’m carried to wonder about in my Father’s Thoughts. Returning me with sweet.  Returning me with power. Returning me with my own choices to want. My own choices to say my will or Yours. 

Passion builds desires that takes me into His Mystery of Love. To follow with great awareness of being alive, awake, and before Love abundance.  

I come to Crown Him as my Lord and find He has crowned me His first.  

Eternity please, oh eternity has such a beauty that I live now.

Too Much Time Between Miracles

The uncomfortable moments 

where it has been too much time 

between the now and then 

of my last miracle with You.  

For the freshness of miracles 

carry the heart with Life, 

to see 

where blindness was holding back 

what was being painted 

in full display. 

Oh how the desires can get twisted 

in stumbles of nonsense. 

How the worth of moments 

are distractions instead of unsaleable, 

unmerited Love 

accumulating for the down-pour 

of Heaven’s Song.  

The miracle of a heard Sound! 

The miracle of the Voice 

that will sing for a thousand generations! 

The release of what was created 

within me 

to experience 

what cannot be explained. 

For one breath to be taken 

into highest praises 

where connections are made 

between moves; 

where words are now emotions 

of Love’s explosions. 

Find me in silence, 

standing in the frozen capture 

of fixing the heart 

upon this visual moment. 

Silencing the distractions, 

as the entrance of consuming Fire 

enters to fill me 

from head to toe. 

Miracles are when I see 

a glimpse of my King. 

When the ‘we look alike’ 

communicates the giggle 

around my path. 

Each breath 

a heavy weight 

like pure gold, 

causing time to stand still, 

for my heart cannot let go 

of the moment. 

Holding hard 

to drink graciously 

from each piece 

of Love’s portion 

during the spark of this 

one breath taken in, 

He is bringing in His Story 

for me to read 

and dance away 

each inhaled heartbeat. 

The miracle of His Voice!  

A miracle… 

I marvel in a breath taken 

with thoughts so strong, 

a miracle of what He creates 

becomes eternal records. 

Heaven comes to earth 

in my soul.  

A miracle!

Worst Thing I Can Think Of

Papa God, the worst thing 

I can think of 

is losing hold of Jesus 

and what He is all about. 

Oh please Papa, keep me in His Path. 

Keep me sweet Holy Spirit where my family and I can go through life 

and come into the next 

with Jesus by our side 

as we have surrendered to the Way, the only Way.  

Our children have so many choices in these days. 

Choices of religious wondering 

and it all feels like chaos is happening. 

Are we equipped to make this journey? 

Are we secure enough 

to bounce around in Your Kingdom 

while these attached come to grade us, 

challenge us, 

competing for our minds. 

Oh please Papa, send the angel armies 

that war for the soul of my children 

and their children… 

and as far as this earth 

takes my generation of life giving through my blood. 

Take Michael’s children 

and carry on the greatest victories 

of finding the wholeness of Jesus within, 

only Jesus within 

making our Path straight. 

My tears speak 

what my thoughts 

cannot put together. 

My tears carry my heart 

with purpose 

I cannot be strong enough for. 

But, You can!  

Your blood was enough 

to take me from fear to favor… 

to weakness to righteousness … 

to experiencing 

what may look like destruction 

but You make power 

to move the enemy 

out of our camp. 

Lay my life gifts 

in heavenly places. 

Lay my treasures 

where the lock has put them 

far into the Heaven’s 

awaiting the surprise it will give me. 

I lay down my life here and now. 

You take and make 

as I listen and obey. 

I rejoice as I learn 

to trust in You… 

not my own saving!  

In Jesus, His beautiful Name, 

I sing from a marveled heart

 of what all even this past week 

has given to me. 

Thank You Jesus (Your Place) is my place.