Dancing with my heart, my words, my song, and my love, before my God…


But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who
LOVE YOUR NAME may rejoice in you. Psalms 5:11

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Tears

Amazing Grace, I’ve been set free.  It rolls over and over and over in my head.  It amazes me how I can be so caught in drama and pain that I will allow it to suffocate the Grace that Pours within my spirit to Revive and Move me to the Mountain of God’s Grace.   When I find His Grace something inside begins to make a fresh Melody and this Substance hits dead center in my heart and seeps its Power to every pour of my body.  My eyes begin to open and my feet begin to take me.  Take me where He is and there I find once again the Intimacy I left to follow my own love.  As I open the door of my heart once again I wonder why I left.  What took me away from His Embrace?  I shake as I tremble in His Arms.  I call out that I will never leave again, never in ten million, million years.  His Eyes catch my tear and He Gives me a Smile that Melts all thoughts of my own ability to stay.  I know not what to say next so I just lay in this Presence for I find Safety Wrapped all around me.  I hear His Voice and I must weep again for over and over He Shares with His Warmth that His Love has followed my steps and watched as I painfully fell from sensing His Love.  I look into His Being for I do not understand this sort of Love.  Why watch me fall, oh why Lord, do You Watch a fall.  He Lifts me Closer so I can hear Him Whisper.  ‘Child, falling is but a lie received; you were never out of sight.’  I again realize I don’t understand so I just cover up with His Blanket of Love and snuggle in this Place.  I just want to talk for awhile.  I open my heart and take a breath to share.  My Lord, I have felt so lost as I listened to that which enticed me.  Why would I follow it?  What would I even think it would bring?  I took it to sleep with me and I listened as it devoured my joy.  I was awakened with its voice screeching its claws in to my heart.  And then before I knew it, I was lost in its grip.  I searched for a door and could not find it for once it had me outside it vanished to leave me alone.  I could not escape.  Where were You?  Were You screaming at me yet my ears failed to hear?  Was You Holding me while I ran?  Again, He Gently takes His Hands and Cups my face, Lifts my chin, and now I see a Tear in His Eyes.  I do not understand, my Lord, why are You Crying?  I see His Forehead rise as He tilts His Head as if He Knows what He wants to say but wonders if I will hear.  I ask again… why, my Lord, are You Crying?  He leans forward and gives me a Kiss on my forehead and then He Speaks.  ‘My child, before you were born I Painted the sky for you.  Before you were born, I Designed a Room to Exist in Time for your walk with Me.  I put Detail in your form that would Show you I Am.  I Cover your life with Protection and Safety with no void or failure.  I Raise heavens Song over each breath you take as your importance to me runs delightfully beautiful.  I Am for you.  I Am with Constance.  I Am with Eternity for you.’  I am speechless and I reach to take the Tear from His Eye. As I feel its Dampness on my finger I remain wondering… wondering… how can I understand this Love?