Father, if You (the very Being of who You are – the life giver) were to suddenly say “stop” and I was in the middle of the most exhausting difficulty I could imagine, You would have the same heart toward me as if I were floating in the most extreme fellowship between us possible. For You move within me, as You move about the whole existence, and the sounds of mysterious keeping of my soul is wrapped in an unyielding release no matter my run or halt.
I shake as this tremendous power describes its portrait of holding while arising within me the awareness of such a colossal authority. Dominating without apology of ownership of the air I move in. As this thick essence lowers and I sit in quiet to hear, my body immobilizes as if truth caught me by surprise and my eyes turn suddenly to hear a new endorsement of who You are.
I was strolling in a dream where I was industrious within my own home; stunned I find I did not own these walls. I look at what was and has always been before my eyes but with a new question of its intent. Like water within a glass might think it builds its own kingdom, but in reality it can only take the form it is placed in.
I marvel; I know not what to do but marvel.
Wanted and created but owned by One who owns the air. His electrifying supremacy commanded the water to part that land be formed; set my heart to know small and grow as His love is allowed to dominate the energy it has. My fingers that touch non eternal items in this place - dissolve to fact it is no value. Enlightened, as I begin to search one by one the things around me; new assessment of worth forms as its face changes. So many arguments fall to nothing without ever another word spoken.
I cannot stop trembling.
I never recall wondering if Maxine Burger Ford was my mom, or if Robert Ford was my dad; but oh how often I wondered if I were really a child of God. Could it be as simple as giving my heart (life) to Him and I was born into His kingdom? Could I be assured of the life to come within a heaven I have never seen? Simply believe…? How can one believe something so mammoth is held within one’s own single thought?
But here You are. As I sit still, You inform me of ownership with authority I cannot question. Then with tenderness and kindness of the greatest proprietor, You love offering me partnership that I could not experience If I took prideful actions it was all done by my own making. Suddenly, I was STOPPED and Your Spirit that roams the earth, found me wondering before I spoke.
Now with fresh thoughts, I step upon ground that I do not own