Dancing with my heart, my words, my song, and my love, before my God…

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who
LOVE YOUR NAME may rejoice in you. Psalms 5:11

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Prayer Room Door Of My Mom

“Oh God”, (sniff, sniff) “save Charlotte.”  “God, save her soul”, my mother would cry and plead behind doors I was forbidden to pass unless there was an emergency. 

With this memory, I can hear her voice so clear I could almost tell you every pitch of her groans, every rise and drop of its sound; every tone of agony it seemed to give her.  Even as this mystery is recalled and the eyes of my past speak, I can hear her voice break and crack like I’m listening for the first time again. 

 For it seems only moments ago I was there; I travel so easily to these events sealed safe as tightly saved treasures, so rare there is no price tag to its power that lives today.  Only moments ago, between being a child running free, to an adult with great grandchildren myself, I passed by this prayer room door on my way to my own playground of pleasures and this sound broke though my world like an explosion of fear difficult to explain

The weeping of a heart has a sound like no other, piercing the hardest of souls. My emotions would take all control and my curiosity was my new leader as my name, “Charlotte” was spoken. 

Sometimes in an attempt to hear my mom clearer, I would desperately work at pressing my ear hard against the small keyhole below the door knob as I circled and searched to place the center of my ear at the best possible location for sound from the forbidden room. 

Or, if it became obvious I was not going to hear, I would peer through the key hole so that I might catch a glimpse of how one appears while in such agony. 

 If these attempts still left me unable to fulfill my curiosity, I might lie on the floor trying to maneuver my sight under the door sill for this possible visual. 

But whatever mission I had previously been on, it was just no longer of any meaning to explore until I had exhausted all tries to hear and make more sense of mom’s cry.  

I just couldn’t pull away from why all the torture I seemed to be putting her in.  

What love spoken through the cry of a mother...!

If I recall my mother's prayers with such vividness, and I do... how much more has the heavenly Father heard and remembered our prayer cries for those we love.


My Name

What could be one of
you can think of? 

Think about this with me.

Last weekend I realized something that has given me a new appreciation of worship I could offer to Father, Son and Spirit. 
Something of myself that would honor this Trinity with what I find so treasured. 
Here is how it happened.

I was called ‘Nana’..!

Pretty simple huh…!
But here is the depth of something so awesome. 

Each grandchild that called me this common name, used all over the world, never had a single thought that possibly I was not Nana; Nana was my name and position and I was treasured.  They spoke it with confidence and almost with no thought processing going on at all, ‘Nana…!’ 

Ahhhh, here is the reality...this name sounds much more like a song to me
than just a title. 

It catches my attention and all my affections are redirected - from what I was doing to their heart. It didn’t matter what the next few words were going to be, I was totally captured by their desire to speak to me.

I was also called,
mom by my sons,
'mom' she says...a special jewel my daughter in law,
and even a precious ex-daughter in law - ;i love you momma'. 

Oh my… my title, who I am, spoken without processing. 

I was so overwhelmed with JOY
this ‘song’
they put behind their voice,
to catch me eye to eye.


My mom calls me 'baby'
I was kissed by both my mom and dad.  Hugged by sisters and brothers who spoke from the heart, ‘I love you sissy!’ 

 All the titles of who I am to them - without doubt I am. 

My names…
yes,love that melts division,
directed to me with complete confidence of place.
Spoken to catch attention of a busy mind
to ‘theirs


So I have a new passion, a new worship I offer Father, my Heavenly Father. I speak His Name in reference of conversation to Him, under His Amazing Name, He who is in my life without doubt, without processing. 
With love I give my voice this same song to Him,
His Name so Sweet I call.

Exactly who He is! 

How He hears my voice
as Song
when I simply say His Name I love.