I want to SHOUT… I want to SCREEEAAAAAMMMMMMM..!!!!! Oh GOD, THE GOD…. THE MERCIFUL GOD OF ALL THE EARTH…!!!!! LET THE EYES OF OUR HEART BE TURNED TOWARDS YOU and NOT our own love affairs..!!!! Place us before The Judge so that we see our self which will open our understanding to FALL; FALL FACE DOWN as the Crown of Your Glory takes hold and we find NO ROPE to swing the opposite direction. It is the Experience that the soul fights against with all that is within but Spirit does not Give In. Spirit of Revelation Wraps His Ribbons of Safety around the heart so that the Wonders of Father’s Purposes can be quickly Down Loaded as this Amazing Direction comes; and the Giant of Friendship Gives you this Power you know is coming from some where inside, but from a Source you did not know yesterday.
It is sooooo much easier to follow what feels right, follow what sounds right… follow the head that says, ‘but we have always done it this way.’ Oh God, Father, Taker of my eyes, my heart, my soul, all that I am I surrender to the nothing that I know… the nothing that is clear except that my surrender is in You, for You. I have so much pride in my knowledge and feel I would die in hell if I were to surrender to abandon all and completely follow You. I, like my sister has said, find it extremely difficulty to think I will be served by the Master… oh how could I… not I… I would never be so crude to have a Master serve me, I am so prideful.
Oh the humility of seeing one self. The sweat that feels like blood or like your insides coming out. There are no words to describe the Mirror of Your Righteousness upon our souls… to be at the bottom of all lists of filth and have Father pick me up and Clean off the dirt as Arms of Love Pierce through all my fears as I am forced to see the failure, Oh GODDDD the failure…. I want to do anything but see the failure.
Please don’t make me see my failure…!
If I see my failure I cannot go on. I can not live. I hate seeing my failure. I lose grip with my strength that tells me I must have. I lose the war inside that protects me and keeps me in my sin and tells me it is my righteousness.
OH GODDDDDD… I can’t see my failures.
It will destroy who I am. It will take me to hell's doors and I will fall in somehow. I will be captured by the guilt and I will not stand against its nasty grip. If I just lay in it and feel good about myself, I can be strong, I can say ‘oh, it doesn’t really matter’ or worst….. ‘I’m not really wrong’ …. I can tell myself all sorts of things that will make me believe in lies. But surrender??? OH GOD….. SURRENDER???? And DIE???? To HONESTY…!??? I will die and go to hell.
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Thank You for Praying for me. Thank You for showing me You were not a follower of this world and was so hated by those who wanted religion and/or their own love affairs, not Joining the Union of the Trinity You were Giving Invitation to. Thank You for Showing me how God Sees me. How He so Carefully and Wonderfully made me for His Pleasure. How He Sent You for the Purpose of Offering Your Self so that I would be in this Unity. Thank You for Completing the Destiny God Gave You.
Thank You Spirit for Safely Blowing the Work in and around my life so that I ‘feel’ my God as Friendship, and Love and Power Touches my heart as I learn to Joyfully count it a pleasure to be a part of all this eternal Home has, as I unite with all the body of Christ’s.
Jesus, I Climb inside Your Name this morning as I have repented with my sister of my weakness… I dared to see myself again and find my heart Carried High and Rocked back and forth with Your Song Singing over me as I surrendered. Jesus, I cry on Your Shoulder as I tell you my pain and sorrowful weaknesses, and I Hear the Loud Sounds of Eyes of Passion Guiding me to Father’s Love.
How can Eyes make such Loud Sounds…. Oh they can. It is like Words that cannot be spoken for this is much deeper than words, this is Truth and Foundations for the rest of my life. Eyes, oh Jesus, Your Eyes Pierce my heart and Reaches the rivers of pain and confusion I swallowed and accepted as truth but were just crumbling rocks I grabbed in trying to survive.
I weep now, oh yeah, I weep because now my eyes are talking to Your Eyes.
We have met and a New Language called communication happens that brings in the curiosity of angels as they work Your Love to see such Love between human and God.
Love Walks on the earth as my feet surrender to the Good News. No wonder the feet of those who carry Good News is so beautiful. It carry’s Life Given, not life imagined or supposed. I see You Jesus, I see Your Eyes upon me and I see Your Hand reaching to mine, to support me as I cry. I hear Your Whispers as You Touch against my ear with Your Lips to tell me Father is Proud of me right now. I feel the Arms that have wrapped around my chest and rocking me as I cry. I am heard, I am tended to.
I am softly patted as Spirit Shows the Personalities of the Trinity to my own eyes. I know only to sob as I am so dirty and yet You have no fear of my dirt or what You could catch from me. You only want to Touch me in my leprous state so You can Wipe each sore with Your Answers so I will be Whole and Dance with You as Your Love Abounds.
Thank You so much Father. Thank You so much Spirit. And Jesus, I hardly know what to say. I want to be Friends forever. I want to know more and I want to come often to this Place. A Place where I am no longer afraid nor crippled with garbage words I’ve heard from someone or see in someone that I think might be of interest to You. I will come as called… NOW… exactly as I am. The way You Called Your Beloved disciples…. ‘Come, Follow Me…’ This is what I want to do moment by moment…. COME FOLLOW YOU. Asking questions because I’m curious and deeply want to hear You. Not afraid I will disappoint you with these questions, but honest – where I’m at so that when it comes to the Right…. You can say… ahhh haaaa…. You NOW HAVE IT.!!!
Oh Jesus… I love You so much. Thank You for Showing me Father and Leaving the Gift of Spirit. I am so excited for more. I kiss Your Lips as Friendship EXPLODES…!!!
