God… Chosen? I am chosen?
That really messes with my mind, my God. Every time I think about it I am so delighted in the Midst of this Truth but it feels so contrary to how my mind works. For this morning I woke and thought it was 'I' that chose to either talk to You or allow my thoughts to wonder about in other conversations that float in the spaces of my time.
Did I chose or did You Chose me this morning?
I recall my song this morning as my day was beginning; I asked for the Spirit of Wisdom to carry me through the events I would face today. Do You Chose to Give me this Wisdom or is it because I asked? Oh God, I am altogether broken in the Company of Your Heart’s Love for me and I just want my heart to fall deeper and deeper in knowledge of the Love You are.
My seeking has become such deep desires for You and what it looks like to hold You inside.
It has to be You that is planting these questions, these moments that Rise in my soul to bring the Thirst of such Amazing Dwelling. As each Piece of Your Love Causes me to be in Your Situations, I want my residence to read this Address. As You Arrange my Steps You surely must be Placing the Rank of this Degree of Hunger for Your Matchless Absolutes. Yet the confusion for me is that the Unfathomable, Bottomless, Hidden, Mysteriously Silent yet Thunderous, Profound Truth of Your Love, Reveals something so Zealous and what appears Your Ultimate Weakness for me.
Weakness for me?
My search for why I might be chosen only exposes or uncovers more questions about Your Love of Irresistible Pleasure over me, not my own labor to exert some sort of performance or come off as my own handiwork. But in quest of reality I ponder the Masterpiece You are Creating, not of my creation or boost; but what Your Love, not mine, is all about. Your Work, Your Love, Your Show-n-Tell Moments of Your Work in Progress.
Giving me microscopic Portions of Your Love’s Supremacy and watching the Energy of such Weight Construct Your Image.
God, what an Incredible Marvel it is to just let You Love me. This Weakness for me..! To allow my doubts and fears be Seized by Your Zeal to Show what Your Blameless Extremes can Accomplish in something broken because Your Love needs Places to Inhabit. You have Chosen me, and not because I am a vessel of fine art, but because my cracks can Show Your Sweetness that Flavors the cravings of my soul; which then Portrays the Deepest Places where such Beautiful Springs Refresh a weary mind.
I am Chosen by the Eye of Your Grand Search for lost and broken street dwellers, homeless on earth.
I am Given Your Royal Feast because I am now ravenous and running in hunger to sallow the Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner You Serve as You have Opened the Door to the Never Ending Banquet set for the broken and homeless. Your Weakness for me has Devoured my heart and I can not leave, I can only ask for more and to live here forever.
I was Chosen by Your Love’s Need and I will play in Your Garden with Jesus who Showed me Your Name for eternity.