Dancing with my heart, my words, my song, and my love, before my God…

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who
LOVE YOUR NAME may rejoice in you. Psalms 5:11

Saturday, April 16, 2011

I Look Back at You Looking at Me

Father, we are such individuals… created so differently.  Not one strand of hair falls that you are not aware of.  Not one!  Amazing to think about as I would have absolutely no idea of such a number at any moment in time.  Not only that one piece of information about me but even all my thoughts are running through Your Amazing Span of Gathered Knowledge. Knowing me far into eternity and I do not know myself even today.  Oh God, You are so enormous that I can’t get this.  You are a lover that is the Ultimate Teacher of its Correct Acts. Your Love Touches the magnitude of a complicated pattern to bring the sun rise each day and yet works the tiny grain of sand into a clam to form a beautiful pearl.   How You have won my heart.  I want to Play where You Play.  I want You as my Best Friend.  I stand as a child so embarrassed of how You Keep Looking at me but so intriged it stops my world.  The Visual of my grandchild in this photograph is the perfect picture of my worship this morning for it reveals my own thoughts so well of a difficulty but wonderful feeling as I look back at You Looking at me.  I see Your Eyes Fixed on me but find myself reserved in knowing what to do.  It seems easy to live to myself, for myself, and have my own pleasures of my utmost focus, but when I see You there…I am stopped in my walk to wonder.  I wonder what You are going to do next; wonder what You are going to say; wonder how long You are going to stay here.  Sometimes I want to run and hide as my ways seem so ridculous for another to be a part of.  But You Remain, with Your Smile upon my life and I can’t find a place to hide.  For this sort of Love shatters the moment into unknowns.  I see with Emotions and Pleasure I was made to love You as Your Eyes Watch to Embrace my love with such Earnest Enjoyment.  Oh my, so mystifying and at times so terrifying of how this can be.  As a child with short attention spans with too often a ‘give me’ attitude to Your Kindness, I only know to say my deepest desire has become so ready to give You my heart for I look back at You Looking at me with such Pleasure.  How can I but want to turn around all my own self worship to honor You with my attention as I become more and more conscience of Your All Seeing Eyes of such Love.  Love that never stops and mine own so speratic that I wonder why You Choose me for Your Adornment of Sounds upon the earth.  It slows me down each time and I can’t help but stop and sheepishly enjoy its Warm Hug feel.  Please know that I love it.  I love so much how You Keep me close to the Safety of Your Power.  I know Your Presence Lives in me but how Amazing when I feel that Power causing my mind and soul to be aware of such Movement in this world.  Thank You for Watching me; even though it is very uncomfortable so often I love to look back at You Looking at me.