I Walked Into Its Flames

It amazes me how the Presence of God comes and goes.  This does not mean that He is not with me all the time, but that at times it is as if love or His Presence is so strong that only if I write am I able to hear or see its beauty.  My blog today reminds me of a time (2010 I believe) I was driving across a railroad crossing (yes, when this comes, it is as if every sense about me takes note).  As I bumped my way over, I was singing and a dance came within, and my heart began to dance without concern.  It was so real, I wrote of it as quickly as I could, but that did not seem to satisfy me enough, so I set up a couple of cameras during a lunch hour and danced this dance that next day.

The image was so real, it becomes a part of me. I saw a hand from heaven reach right above my own and it was as if it attached itself to mine right above my arm. I giggled as we played together up and down arm movements, as I experience such delight.  Then this hand reached to my other hand and we played joyfully the same dance.  Then each leg, as I continued to giggle with my creator who was having as much fun as I was.  Then, the hand reached for my heart and I stopped my giggle.  I pondered its request for I did not know what this event would involve. I held my heart, as it was my own, close to me.  Soon, as I continued to dance and feel such safety, I gave my heart; but the unexpected happened.  I felt myself die (so to speak) and I went down.  I laid there, no dance, just laying upon the ground.  I felt a mighty breath come and it lifted my chest with such force yet I fell again to the ground.  Over and over this happened until new life was restored and I was filled with unbelievable strength that seemed to form itself around playful abundant love. What a wonderful time...!  I am not a professional dancer but have enjoyed the romance of dance in church with other believers before God.  I have never had dance, but it fascinates me as the whole body speaks a language.  Someday I may get brave and post this dance video for it is a message said without words but clearly heard. 

Here is a moment I want to record forever where I am somewhat going about my day and I am captured by a Wind...!

My heart has been imprisoned 

by a Wind that passed by.  

Lifting my thoughts of common, 

to catch fire, 

and blow out of control.  

I was fine, 

my soul was singing; 

but my heart bid my soul 

to sink into the uncommon 

and listen to a New Song.  

A death was before me, 

within a vision, 

but not within knowledge of why.  

“A Spark in heaven was sent to set fire”, 

I am told.  

“Why,” 

my run pleas for some sort of discerning.  

"I have human kind 

to build me houses, 

why has this Spark 

come to burn without constraint?"  

Groping with scrabbling acquaintances 

from my mind, 

I skip around this imminent flame.  

With fierce color, 

the fire is so beautiful; 

I cannot take my eyes off its move.  

With such safety as its Word, 

I walk into its flames 

as it captures my breath - 

and warmth pours to form a Face before me.  

Eyes looking at me 

without the color I am accustomed, 

but with a thousand emotions of passion.  

Every emotion I have ever experienced 

begins to soar to meet passion's sound, 

as unheard of love 

takes me through its fire of change.  

I hear Word 

but with such new comprehension; 

as if I now can identify with each tune 

Word carries to form the simple of one.  

For I remember, 

yes, I remember 

when many words spoke
to form one thought; 

but now, 

each word forms extreme thoughts.  

Searching deep 

as my own eyes crumble with tears 

as fire exposes so cheerfully.  

With a smile beginning to make 

its appearance across my emotional countenance, 

I look with sobbing shouts 

unheard around me, 

I am moved by such a flame of love.  

For passion left its heavenly home, 

died as sin without sin, 

to rest me in its extreme 

for eternal rolls, 

as Wind moves 

the flames of love
Fire has set.

A Missed Cloud God Was In And Then...

Four days ago I was in such a state of hunger for the Lord.  I'm talking deep walks together that I have grown to enjoy.  It did not happen as things piled up and I grew so weary and in want.  I began to write the pain I was experiencing.  It went like this...

Poppa, what do I do about disappointments when my heart suffers from a missed cloud You were in?  I was so looking forward to riding its lining as its wind blew, swirling around me.  I ran to grasp on to the current but found I arrived at the conclusion and not at its beginning escort.  Sensations of sobs touch my deepest impressions.  The impact prints its’ sorrow before me like a news headline that strikes its words in bold color "MISSED APPOINTMENT".  Lost, disoriented, I stumble as my mind goes adrift; floating, wandering into what could have been.  It’s as if my mouth becomes dry and traps my heart from speaking with voice.  Could I be so injured?  I ache with a spoiled distress and its soreness lingers into my existence of time. 

***

I was passionately broken.  Today though, was a moment I count as so unexpected to the opposite.  For I was minding my own work load and the extreme of something so moving came into my room.  I literally gasped as I could do nothing but acknowledge this Presence, as I dropped what I was doing.  Sobbing, I wrote:

Why have You walked in?  Why?  Why have You entered with such power causing my dry eyes to become fountains.  My upright position leans, as I tremble, for I cannot remain as was.  Busily I was working, but my heart fills with passion, I cannot continue as was.  I shake, I tremble, for I do not know how to hold a King and His Presence.  I do not know how to honor such Royalty.  I can hardly breathe as You remain.  I never want to move for I have been kissed with purity as it wraps its lingering image into my mind, body and soul.  My eyes search to find what Your Presence has come to say.  What do I lay before You?  What do I prepare as my response?  I am lost in Love’s entangling insanity.  I have dropped whatever I was and now I cry with sincerity, "I am not responsible for the actions of my heart caught within this embrace".  Your Voice begins with sounds that reach the lowest of sounds.  Notes that take me to the bottom of the scale!  I listen, oh I listen, as it ponders its place and performs while I am captivated of its intenseness.  Holding its sound so low, purpose and plans grab me and I swiftly give no struggle to this warring authority.  Commands released in the heavens, I hear its energy give no alternative to outcome.  A Light that has no shadow, only brilliance, pierced the dense well-chosen path to find me.  My breathing intensifies as each breath I let out, pushes, as if it’s been instructed to give all, in order to bring in new fresh air.  Reaching, was this Sound, to play me, to hear and become part of its song as it starts to rise.  Flying in speeds unheard of, I fly to high notes that amaze the ears of angels as they have not let up on their assignment to watch.  I shake in a trilling voice of extreme for my Sheppard left the 99 and found me.  Grace begins to sing in different flavors of sound, while His embrace carry’s me into His Kingdom.  Gently now, I find a smile slowly developing, as I dare to look around at where I have come.  Where His Song floats my heart as trust smiles back.  His Name takes on a Face rather than just knowledge and its loveliness causes my hands to reach about and touch His eyes, His nose, His mouth; as if seeing it for the first time.   I see this man now and I lose all grip with holding back all tears as I wonder why I have not seen Him before.  Was He a fable, a good story, a person of good character that I hoped somehow if I said His Name, I would get something?  But here He is, Jesus, a God with amazing features I can’t describe.  Singing with me, for me, over me, about me... we are His Love Song.  He is real with a voice that sounds.  He has risen and He has taken me with Him. Locked in His Arms, we dance to heavens tunes.