"why is it"
that I can be so comforted with Your goodness
yet so quickly turned inside out
with thoughts so painful
of another’s knife in my heart.
So broken that my words dry up
and I am stumbling within
to maintain my balance of who I am.
Caught in the night,
in the darkness of words,
documents addressed to tear me from standing.
Purposed to derail the strength of love’s power
with tiny nails
driven to the sensitive corners of my life.
I can’t even think about getting up
as fear displays them like neon lights,
spears in action to my heart.
Holding in the center of my soul
to bury its opportunity to give disease,
to sing victory triumph
of its unspoken accomplishment.
Oh Lord, You are the voice I seek
so the darts of the enemy
will dissolve before it hits.
Those that got through,
those that fell upon me in my weakness,
I crumble under
and plead Your mercy
to carry each word into a far country
to be left and die.
I find no one,
not one that has the strength
to carry this for me.
can take away its sting
that leaves me screaming for relief.
I am lowly and so terribly weak.
my God, my God…
WHY have You forsaken me,
"why is it"
and then disgust crawls in
for such a thought.
All my life
Your love touching
and sewing together my torn and mattered soul
as blessings cover my days.
Teach me how to love.
Forgiveness is such a gift from You.
Jesus forgave in full understanding
of those that stood so strong against Him.
He did not forget their offense,
He did not ignore their offense against Him…
He did not stay quiet but spoke the Father's Love and Truth.
He always recognized evil yet forgave
as they offended,
causing Him to bleed and die.
Lord, You look upon me
in all my stumbling,
knowing my wrong against You
Can I do this Lord?
for You are my creator.
As Your Spirit fills me, then I can do all things.
As I offer my thoughts to You tonight…
all of them,
and all bad…
here I am Lord.
My total treasure is You,
are the treasure of my thoughts.
"why is it"
To teach me how to love.
Where else can I go?
You alone hold this kind of love.
I lift up my heart with the passion of such abundant love
from heaven's abundance towards me.
I cry inside for the dark scales
that keep lies alive in those against me
to shatter under the mercy of truth
which sets them free.
Seal truth in the path of footsteps taken
so that no route is available except through
the gates of such freedom speaking.
Cause its power to speak so loud
that eyes shut, ears plugged
cannot close out its message to save.
When surrender is at its perfect moment
hold arms wide so that the fall
can only result in Your love's catch.
The fear to allow lies exposed
has only riches as reward.
The flesh that dies allows Your Spirit to grow
and truth sing in key with angels and heaven's knowledge.
Hold the hand of those under such lies against me
in a guiding walk through this dark time.
Salvation has been paid for my own darkness. I will not hold
anyone in the grip of an enemy attack
but pray for Your heart to bless
with Truth that I myself crave
and find as more delicious than wine.
Jesus, You are the Truth and Light.
I will trust in You and
lift up my prayer to my Father
in Your Name.