Painfully (flesh), I am in constant
change as my inner person is flying so high. I feel like a floating
abundance. I awake and His Love blazes and I return His love with
gladness. I sing a song that He creates. I walk a walk that He
created to make me dance. I am so overwhelmed with hope and His
salvation. This church is a place where it is obvious a residence I have
never been... in the midst of this place... in His watchful eye at a new
angle. Tears seems to be the only reaction I know how to express. Kicking
and screaming my own voice and 'I wanna this' verses His abundant 'pit stops'
of greatness. I am so humbled under such a heavy love. I have such wishful thoughts of being able to carry more of this love without
buckling. Tears keep reminding me that my soul is in such a state of
'little-ness'. If only I could expand, if only I could stretch beyond
this capacity and yet I know it comes from trials and the tribulations of dying
daily to flesh so that more room is allowed for His purpose and plans.
His work is mighty and will accomplish ALL that He has set before me and
in that I rest. But knowing I have such an abundant need to further my
heart keeps such an excitement to seek. Seek His plan beyond my weeping
tears that tell me I am weak, weeping tears that expose my lack when His
presence comes in to saturate me. I know only to ask that He keep
intruding with His abundant love and wipe away my tears that fall under its
loving kindness. I am beginning to understand more clearly why most souls
fall to the ground or weep when His Kingdom (Person of I Am)
comes into the midst of their knowledge. The flesh MUST make room,
must turn from its own created thoughts - to His. The flesh must pick up
this cross and follow in order to be the disciple it calls us to be. He
calls our name and we make unbelievable adjustments to what we had affections
toward. We stop and follow in our weakened state to rise up and
believe. He calls my name that goes beyond 'Charlotte' which would only
raise my eyes, but His call raises my soul. My favorite memories now
belong to the I Am and thus my conversations change. How can such desires
turn a life to the crippling of my flesh? How can this desire turn the
laughter of common things into the tender weep of my soul? Weeping
of such gentle passion I know not how to hold as I tremble under its pure
light. Oh how I pray for greater openness so that His life will shine to
my core and rescue me in His confidence.
Father, who is, reach to the inner
untouchable places of each of us today! Wash us with Your mercy as what
we do not understand takes its place over us while it rains down and through
each thought to enjoy in spite of the death of flesh. Setting Your love,
Your banner of Love over this day which turns all other days of past into
the 'next step' of knowing You. King of all, we salute You with our
hearts to honor the Song, Your Son, given to us as rebirth or being born again
within Your Kingdom so thick with love that we spin with dances of
jubilee. Free to make our life a beautiful dance before You to
enjoy. As the child you made us, so let us be. With gladness, send
out this tremble we have, to those who are lost and cannot find this pure
pleasure, as we sit at Your Feet. It’s so overwhelming... You have given
much more than we can contain. Teach us to scatter carelessly to all that
we meet. With the abundance of Your Son, Your Word within - take us
further today.
