Dancing with my heart, my words, my song, and my love, before my God…

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who
LOVE YOUR NAME may rejoice in you. Psalms 5:11

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Selfish Leftovers

God, I'm heavy with desire for love to be sent, not trampled by my enemy.  

God, I want the takings of Your sweet mercy wrap me with a grip I cannot untie.  

So confused...I feel love, I think love, I even convince myself I speak love, and yet it comes back to me declared a retched wound to whom I send it.  The scream floats before my eyes day and night; weeping they cry, saying I give out only darkness and I have pierced their life with selfish leftovers not even fit to consume. 

Am I alone?  Am I lifeless with death my conversation; is death all I have to give them?  Do I stand in mud and only track dirt into a white room?  Only Your power can clean my feet and love mend and sing us into the softness of joy.  

Take away my cover, take my hiding place where I go to feed on lies, and replace it with whispers that heal letdowns while it strengthens my courage to walk in repentance.  Lead me not into temptation but gather my wayward heart and provide me with instructions to set me preserved for pure love talk only.

Do not let me be deceived and then convinced I am not.  Save me from my own self justified blindness giving me a road to continue into thicker and thicker chains and traps that cripple.  Watch over me before even a sound comes from my lips, to bring it to the fire of Your Spirit, cleansing my motives and my safety net I build for myself, and my selfish rights to find blame.

With Holy Anger, shave off the enemy's division built to separate children in Your kingdom.  Send Holy Fire that frees all captives from the punishment evil meant for destruction.  May I see the light of this Fire and walk in its center without knowing, just trusting.

Unscramble words that twist in the hands of our enemy; and cause the life it is intended to be the power that sets the earth as the bridge we are on, only for the journey of raising the awareness of Your love.

Take me deeper and deeper into real love that sacrifices; and laughs at ten percent gifts in order to keep 90 percent for self consumption.  I want one-hundred percent giving to the call You fill me with and constantly pour in abundance more than I need, to make the gift radically spontaneously frivolous.  

Let me see Your Face, that I send love, first hand, not leftovers.