Dancing with my heart, my words, my song, and my love, before my God…

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who
LOVE YOUR NAME may rejoice in you. Psalms 5:11

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

God, Help Me Love Me...!

Good morning my Savior, I would love to just take a moment to thank You for Your Safe Keeping and Your unmerited Favor towards me. 

Read a little note this morning on a card from an unexpected source that I was ‘missed’ at a recent event.  Funny how that causes that something on the inside to explode with a song of gratitude!  Hard to describe or even understand but it’s like it shoots down all the little armies in your head that your not accepted or your not wanted.  You are a misfit and don’t belong to this part of the country.  Your name has a label attached to it that screams MISFIT. 

How easily we box our self up, secure the lid with layered folds and take ourselves to the storage room where we keep all the maybe need or want someday rather than in the family room where its use is loved and needed most every day.  My Great God, I hate when I do that to myself.  At times this behavior is such a normal response that I rarely catch when I’ve done it; I only wake up boxed in and unable to find my way out.  But today I am throwing open the box, AGAIN, and taking hold of This Love from You, my Savior, with Your Strength that has come from a sister of character.  And as her example of Your Love I want to pass on the Love found  to those I am in contact with.  Loving You with all my heart and others as myself. 

Matthew 22:36 Teacher, which [e]kind of commandment is great and important (the principal kind) in the Law? [Some commandments are light--which are heavy?]
    37And He replied to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind (intellect).(C)
    38This is the great (most important, principal) and first commandment.
    39And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself.(D)
    40These two commandments [f]sum up and upon them depend all the Law and the Prophets.

What a tremendously complicated action You have asked of us!  For so often I do not love myself so how can I love another? 

I listened to a heart crying the other day of one telling me she could not handle the pain given her heart so she produced her own pain by cutting herself as then she was able to deal with its pain.  She could clean it up, bandage the wound, and even watch as the wound began to heal to completion; unlike the pain coming from a source outside her that was overpowering her mind.  She was struggling with another’s opinion of her again with great difficulty.  Are they accurate in their opinion?  How do I pull away from this loud sound of one who screamed its thoughts at me and now no longer alive for me to return my fight.  Loss was knocking her down and fear of tomorrow had her steps ordered.  

I know hardly what to do but cry with her.  Direct her to my Source that I find when I am hurting of opinions of my own or that of another.  I did not know how to tell her that it will not happen, only that when it does there is One that Cares beyond my understanding.  How Often You have come to my side while I tearfully sobbed my worthlessness. 

So God, I am asking…please Help me Love myself today.  Please Give me Your Guidance and Truth so that I may Love others as myself.  Where my feet travel, please let me hear You Sing with me as I Dance the day for You.  I am in need, great need; for I want to love others as myself.  Show them Your Love Works even when I stumble myself.  My voice has tremors and needs tuned to Your Opinions.  My ground is muddy and needs Roots of Grass that Soften and allow bare feet to Walk in the Open Garden of Your Love. 

I rise up now to accept the Glow of Your Love that Carries me beyond my self opinions.  For I am Your Favorite Created by You, the only one of my kind…. What are You Thinking, What are You Saying… I have to know!!!  In Jesus, the Name Given Above, Amen.