Dancing with my heart, my words, my song, and my love, before my God…

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who
LOVE YOUR NAME may rejoice in you. Psalms 5:11

Friday, November 19, 2010

Lab Reports

I work at a Medical/Dental clinic where I sit as the Administration Assistant.  My job has amazingly broad duties, and I love them all, but much of the time I am taking care of the credentialing process for our providers/physicians, keeping all their different licenses up and networked with required facilities.  We are growing so fast and in process of building our second medical clinic … we presently have two dental clinics but they too are busting out their walls.  Yesterday I wore another favorite hat (or I should say apron-because I literally did have on an apron) … we had our thanksgiving luncheon and I got called “Miss Suzie Homemaker” or “ Betty Crocker” throughout the day for I was in the kitchen preparing/warming both dishes and tables, while de-boning our luscious turkey.  In this picture I am peeling potatoes :0-)

However, today I had told the RN that I would pick up Lab/Hospital reports from the hospital on route to work since the person who normally does this is on vacation; but I sure didn’t realize that when I followed through with this agreement I would receive my own Lab Report.  It isn’t easy reading your own Lab results: because reading it can be a challenge.  But sure enough, it clearly had my name written on its page.  I was traveling down the hospital road when I questioned my heart as it just seemed to not have much pulse, you know, the kind that keeps a smile on your face.  Again a song was sounding on my CD with those words that question Jesus what He is thinking, what is He feeling, they wanted to know.  As I listened I began to take on that same question myself.  My Lord, I am troubled and it is not a place I normally stay very long but this seems to be lingering, why… what are You Doing, what are You Thinking, I really, really want to know. 

I’ve learned that in every situation God ALWAYS meets me, I just have to be persistent and seeking, that just about totals the equation. So again I asked … Lord, what are You Thinking and Feeling… I really want to know. 

That’s when my report came in…!  Oh yeah, it was me all right.  I saw myself in a flash, a visual, with clarity, shocked at all the things in my hands, trying to maintain a balance but obviously it was giving me a shaky stand as I was barely holding up.  Have you ever seen someone with their hands so full and you instantly are moved to ask them if you can help?  Politely they respond… ‘Oh no, I’m fine, I can handle it.’  You watch as they only have a small visual corner to walk their path for the load is more than they can carry yet insisting on doing it alone and will even attempt to open their own doors.  What can you do?  They are clutching to every item as if allowing another to help carry it would be less than their own responsibility to complete their journey.  So you watch; wondering when something in their load is going to come crashing down. 

Then again it happened!  The Second Page of my Lab Report!  You know, where it gives a suggestion or solution on what to do.  I felt the Sweetness of His Eyes of Passion for me.  I watched as He opened His Arms.  “Give me your hand” says the Gentle, Calm Voice … His Whisper as a Soft Heart Nudge.  Without thinking my reply was, “I can’t, my hands are full.”  In that same Whisper that Brought in a Warm Blanket as it Spoke to my chilly heart, He replies, “Exactly.” 

I wept… oh yeah, I wept for first of all that I heard His Love … second that a small piece of Understanding was forming.  And third… even though it was discipline, I know He disciplines those He loves.  I was loved.  So now I am swimming in thoughts.  What do I lay down?  Do I lay them all down?  Do I just not care about anything?  Should I just spill it all and let someone else carry it?  If my hands are so full I can’t take His then it appears to me the easiest solution would be to just drop it all.  I mean doesn’t it say to lay ALL YOUR BURDENS down for He cares for me…!!  But somehow I just don’t think that is what my Report meant.  For He tells me to ‘pick up’ my cross and follow… ‘put on’ the whole amour of God… ‘lift up’ my praise to Him…  be the ‘good Samaritan’ and feed the hungry.  On and on His Words tells me of Job Duties of my position.  Yeah, Job Duties assigned by the Mighty One. 

Where I work, 40 hours a week, one day I am working non-stop with a physician and then the next day I am cutting up potatoes with a cutesy apron on.   Job Duties..!  So I knew I needed a Physician to talk to me about my Lab Report.  What better Physician than His Word… of course… there is no other.  So I begin to ask because that is what He wants… Ask and you shall receive, knock and it shall be opened..!  I asked all morning while I work.  I’m off at noon on Fridays so I am over anxious to get home.  I struggle, I seek, I read, I go to talk with my mother-in-law.  I have to get an ex-ray of my hand so I do that.  I come home… I ask…???

What are You saying God?  I kept praying, I had been trying to follow His Guidance..:0)  well, I do… I try sometimes and to me it appears to lead nowhere so I just keep on keeping on.. :0)  I read the Word, I begged… I can really be a child at heart when it comes to this sort of thing.  I'm a good begger when it comes to wanting the things of God.  But I wanted to know… how do I reach to take His Hands if my hands are full…!??? How???  Then I hear His Voice once again.  Oh how Lovely is the Smile of God.  How Priceless for I can find nothing else that compares.  I hear Him Say with Clarity and Comfort, “In all things give thanks!”  WHAT?  How does that apply?  So I keep reading, keep seeking as now I have His Voice, a Job Duty, something to follow.  And there is was... my search for Him took me to it and it illuminated everything!!!… I found it in I Thessalonians 5:

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies. 21
Test all things; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil.
23 Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24
He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.

So I have a new Smile… yeah, a NEW SMILE.  For today my Duties in the Lord is to Give Thanks in everything.  And how do I do that… TEST everything about myself, EVERYTHING that I am holding on to.  Keep what is good and THROW OUT what is a form of evil.  The Great thing about it is the part where ‘He who calls you is faithful, who also will DO IT !”  So I am mindful and have been summoned for court duty.  I will take my load before the Mighty One and one at a time I will allow Him to Judge it.  Is it Good, is it bad… He is my Maker and Judge.  My Job Duty is to take it to Him and trust… for then He will do it.