Oh how heavy the heart is when injustice to my Lord comes from my own lips. Impossible is the pain heard from others. For doesn’t one cry of despair in the darkness. Doesn’t a heart find a rock to hide under when the difficulties of exposure becomes the obvious. Don’t you close the door before you weep with repentance? The voice comes to you from every corner… arise and do not allow depression to be the covering of your head. Don’t you Know the God of all, pardons your sin with giggles and songs. Oh how I have used this garment too long to find my escape from changing my heart. I am weak with knowledge of my rebellion. I am crushed of my own sad song. The city cries, why so glum, know not we are in the midst of a party. Come celebrate for all the guests have arrived and trimmings have been placed to give us joyful faces. But my heart returns to its ashes. Oh how I have failed. I have failed for I have seen God and not changed. How broken my heart appears as it bleeds heaviness from the deepness of my insistence. For His Love Constantly Pours upon my heart! His Love Scooted me to Safety and I ran back out into the street. Again, over and over His Love Comes my way and Sings to me Its Purity and Woes me to His Embrace. I am Saturated with Your Goodness and Mercy and yet I fall into the darkness of my own wants. I am overcome with sadness and knowledge of my sins. You Walk in with Full Glory and my heart cried “WHAT? WHAT GOD?” “Why are You here?” I look around as I sit in Songs of You. My eyes begin to search for a visual of this Glory Light that Came in. WHAT IS HAPPENING? It Consumes all my walls and extends to overflowing boundaries. Oh God, I am so weak..! Oh my Lord, I lie in confusion for I swallow Your Goodness with such gratitude and hunger multiplies. I walk in the Footsteps of angelic leading from Your Grace but yet I find my own seeking. I rejoice and play daily as Your Voice Thunders with Beauty I had yet heard. I give my all to surrender to this Amazing Place. But with Something New, Your Extreme Outrageous Love comes to my heart for Deeper Understanding. I am Taken to a New Realm of Love that Builds again with Your Source of Knowledge. OH GOD I CRY…! I lower my head as I Soak in the Love that Stops the world I was in. You Speak! “I Love…I Love with Passion… I Love with Abundance…. I Love… Oh how I Love with Strength and Beauty…. I Love in Absolute…. I Love with Piercing Eyes Fixed upon each breath I Treasure Given… …. … … those I Discipline.” Oh Father that Loves me, I am wicked. I am of constant striving to do right and do wrong. I am confused in the holiness of rights and wrongs. Find me seeking, my God. Find me hoping, my Lord. But most of all, find me changing. Oh how I want to change. Awaken my sleepy eyes and heart and give me Strength to change. I am waltzing in Your Abundance and I have taken advantage of Your Love. I repent and find myself leaning in Your Everlasting Arms Knowing even now that I have no fears for Your Love will Prevail. I am victorious because You Paved my existence to You. All Your Ways Take me to Joy Overflowing. I lament as I accept Your Love so Abundant for Discipline which I had yet to experience in this Magnitude. Love that stirs the heavens to move about. Such unspeakable Love to have within me. Thank You for Showing me Deeper Love… Love that is so Deep it Stays in a Position until I learn. Oh God of Righteousness and Purity, Stay in my heart, Work in my heart, as I continue to fall on my face for the escape from my own desires so that the Total Work is Accomplished in me. Help my unbelief. Take this and Change me to not just hear Your Love but to be a doer and Follow with Change.
