Dancing with my heart, my words, my song, and my love, before my God…

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who
LOVE YOUR NAME may rejoice in you. Psalms 5:11

Monday, September 18, 2017

God Wonders What I Think

Comfortable with walking in the garden, that's the cry of my heart today.

Comfortable with knowing He is coming, or knowing I can hear Him on His way. Telling Him what I think, how I feel. Like Adam, who was placed in this garden, God brought him animals to 'see what he would call them' (Genesis 2:19). Can I imagine this? God wondered what Adam would call the animals. Would that be the only wondering moment for God? He never again pursued His creation. Or could I be a wonder to Him as well? And if He wonders about me, what does that do for me?

Communicating the fascinations I find, and not a clue what the results will be from my honest explanations of my actions. Subject to learning forever more. Taking deep breaths and letting the river flow from my heart, speaking all the emotions, words, questions I have crossing my mind.

Lifting my conversations to the One who created me first and then from that conversation speaking to the wonders of others around me. Comfortable with walking in the garden.

Having the dream that I am what He searches for. That He is not only interesting, but I am interesting to Him. He is listening with deep, deep interest far greater than I imagine. God gave me free will, free roam, free time on earth as a created human. He too is fascinated with me. Do I understand this? Absolutely not! But I sure know humans (Disciples) baffled Jesus. I love the statement, "How long am I going to have to stay with you (Mark 9:19)?"

He did not stop with Adam and Eve but rejoiced to continue love pouring through sources of clay pots, tabernacles to hold the praise and honor that will lift us higher into satisfaction and eternal bliss.

His favor comes from the open heart. What I think when I read the Word... not what someone else thinks. What I discover when I experience worship coming from my own mouth, not what others tell me to say. What I hurt over, what I cry about, what I stumble with.

Such a beautiful exchange of spoken and unspoken communication with the Highest and God of all.

Faith I was created, faith I will be forever treasured, releases trust and hope. It is the 'can't get enough' yearning that brings about the table spread before me... His Table!  God wonders what I will think, making even my thoughts of much value.  Why wouldn't I want to tell Him?

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Breathing Is Like Tasting

I sit and ponder, as I soak in the movement of God’s existence. 

Breathing is like tasting something so delicious. Just want to savor each portion of this dance. Releasing air somehow fills rather than empties. And inhaling gives room to do it all over again. 

What is in the wind? 

What artistic pattern is the roam of my heart? 

Do my thoughts delicately paint beautifully before the throne? 

Has the heavens prepared for this round of love?  

Was the whole of my life designed for this moment? 

Is this cry escaping my expanding realm of emotions, the notes of collected oils to pour upon and within the city of my God? 

Can love like this sing and become such oil of gladness? 

The search happens 
and I fall toward the One 
who heals all brokenness. 

When He says He makes a way for me, is this the way? 

Where the heart melts with the overload of love, His love!  Will I someday be allowed to be here forever? Never left out, never rejected, never second! Always the first choice as this choice guides me across the skies. Never along but joined with millions and millions of others as our dance designs brilliant colors yet to be created. 

Movement through the air stirs and throws new as a constant visual so vivid and beautiful, eyes of saints and angels watch this electrifying display of God art. Every emotion has its style that inhabits a place and releases vibrations which sings a new language ears must prepare to hear. 

Just as the struggle to see God and live, so is the Sound so intense. Sleep (rest, peace) is the silence used to break through. Surrender is the only move to make.

Breathing is like tasting something so delicious.

Draft Announcing A Hurricane

The needs of the heart, Poppa, 
are constantly moving about 
to find places to ring its sounds and actions. 

At times the mind wants to find a place to stall, or make void the thinking process; but I'm not sure if that is healthy. Sleep has been designed to give something supernatural; rest and entrance for a play field of thoughts.  I really hope to keep that clean as well. 

The whispers of trails to venture off the safe road can trip my stand, so I call out for brighter paths and guidance in the dark. To stay in the place You dwell. 

Your Presence, I love the song that constantly plays. Busy takes on a fascinating appearance. Sometimes it looks like the slow motion of the moon rising. Like I can see it move, but I can't. Then I blink and its made another climb. Soon, it has brightened the whole earth.  

My heart has jumped into the beauty of the seven wonders of this earth, and exceeds their fascination.
I'm like a draft 
announcing a hurricane. 

My praise rises to break open the Heaven's. And One so holy spills from the throne a gracious thought to ponder and chew, find delicious; which is what comes to those who taste the Lord and see He is good.  Now, the thoughts roll about like a hurricane strikes... uplifting all the loose debris of faithless struggles.  Carrying it away to be cast in the sea. 

Changing me to be new, not placing His wonders in old wine skins but in new.  Often causing everything within me to dance, starting with my face - turning sadness and fear into smiles and hope.  The face dances with new countenance and slowly moves to build throughout my whole being. 

And then the real play begins. The real that took me over into abundance rather than my lack. My song rather than my pity. My rejoice instead of complaints. I walk in the unknown of my Father's joy over me. 

Like a child unaware of eyes that can discern safety, I move only while staying close. I can hear His voice rising to come back, I move back.  

Living in the realm of visiting angels, for He is the God of angel armies!

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Mom Says She Sees Babies

I just had to write about what happened this morning. I surrender to the possibilities of being on or off about this. I simply write from my experience and from love flowing so sweetly to myself and my mom alone in a room... or maybe not. She has dementia but she has always known the Lord as personal and the answer to all problems.

Watching my mom today and I enter a different world than my own. My world is blemished with sorrow from expected acts centered around me and for me, but mom's... well, hers has entered into a quiet wait. Waiting most of her minutes for and with only what is happening now.  
Watching with a stare that creates in me such a deep desire to go to this place of content, where there is no temptation to look aside.  A mighty Sound that pulls her full attention to just watch. Looking up with such a carefree escape to watch this move of space held for her viewing only.  

I can't help but come closer myself. She has the look of an angel. I dare the entrance with her as I ask, "Mom, I would love to see what you see!" She continues to fix her eyes on something above. I believe I am with her, for she appears to feel safe, but I am not her focus.  She has the Greater. 

I watch her eyes gently make slight moves, but very slight. Only as if to catch the ride of this visual. I find contentment in just taking moments of glances her way. In my time, about 15 minutes pass and she somewhat clears her throat. Out comes, "ahh, babies!" I move from my comfort and come close to her. "Are you seeing babies, mom?"  Without being distracted by me or giving me her focus she says, "Yeah!" 

And so there it was; I wanted to see what she sees. My heart began to immediately think and visualize my own little baby world. So precious, so needful of a watchful eye. Wandering in an open play with each other as the exploring mind will taste and feel its surroundings with such a delight. Experiencing sour and sweet, but experiencing.

I wanted to capture what was supernatural. For to feast and renew the mind now, is the later extreme blessing Poppa God gave us, when He told us to renew the mind; for it harbors distraction of this world but He is providing a Kingdom where Heaven is on earth. 

I got my camera.  My focus was upon her face, so beautiful, so in that glow. Then I followed to extend where her eyes gave directions. There was a light. The same light we turn on and off daily but through this visual aid called phone camera, I saw a different glow. I immediately dismissed this phenomenon and just as quickly knew it was a spectacular look into what she might be seeing. 

There were millions and millions of sparkled light specks. They sort of all blended in to form a light glow and yet I was amazed at their individuality. Some would dip slightly while others just floated in place. What was this? Where are the babies? Is this heavenly babies? I only knew to enjoy the moment.

I watched the video and was elated at what I saw. I had to show my sisters. I had to share a moment of what mom might be experiencing beyond our understanding but within a delicate image of God's Glory. I sent it through Messages. I then watched it.... oh no. It wasn't the same? What is different? Too small, too deluded. I know, I will put it on Face Book where Chris, my sister, said a prayer for miracles today. Asked that we know what mom is saying by way of miracle. 

I downloaded it with excitement. Then I watched it. Again, it was different. As I began to study the video, I realized the difference, I had a spark of Moses moment where I saw the glory, it was now gone. The glow was no longer a visual. 

No sparks, no floaters, no longer in that moment. But the life it brought was or can only be explained by my heart from my heart.  I walked into a prayer this morning. I saw a prayer form into a substance. I entered this unknown. I truly can say I don't understand. I am free to hear the Sound of His Name, Jesus! A Sound was not heard... and yet a Sound was power on earth.

Chris' prayer from the heart of God's love in her...

I pray our day will be blessed with the presence of our Heavenly Father. We miss our dad and the conversations we all had that would make us laugh or make us think. We miss his encouragement over taking care of mom, how he showed us to be consistent in showing up and "be there" even when we are hurting. 

God we need you to help mom to help us know how we can be of service to her, when she can't talk it out to us, Father God please talk for her, in our mind. 

Miracles are your desire for us, we play them down, almost forgetting you are still a God of Miracles. Today, we will be bold and ask for miracles of knowledge as we walk this path we are in, guide us with strength that only comes from upon high, in Jesus name we pray! 

I love you so so so much Lord.  Thank You for the gift of Salvation that you have filled our life with ...

Thursday, August 3, 2017

A Little Of God

Shaking, trembling, stumbling with the high of what is before me. The greatest of all, Lord and King over the earth. Oh my soul is divided in two.  On earth but wanting the very roar of Heaven come. 

What season is this? What is the rights of this day? How can my eyes hear and see what is about me, all about me? To receive the wonders of something so unobtainable except by coming before the essence of unknown. 

Call me as I arrive to place my heart as the offering. What do I have to lose? I have only to gain when I take on Your flood. The scare is only because I have not surrendered my own self made life preserving way. 

But can I live without a heart? No, and I want it to be totally surrendered to the work of Spirit's bringing back to life. It's lonely with the life sustaining gadgets about me. I've pipes in my mouth, tubes in my veins and I cannot call out or even signal anyone to remove all these life lines man made. 

I must have the drip from God's IV and not man's. The night is soon to come and I want to be ready. Only Your light has the path. 

Taking Your blessings, I soak in quiet peace. I'm stretching from an awakening and fresh breath brings back oxygen of beautiful energy from Heaven's reign. A little is beyond minds comprehension. Like looking at the earth as it is and then thinking of its size among the galaxy, the Touch of a little from You is incomprehensible. 

So I float in this 'little' touch and weep for how significant it is for my future. I laugh because I was so unaware of what little is to the mind of man. To my mind that thought it was so smart until this little touch changes the wind, the angels assignments, the whisper of my praise kept the rocks from crying out. 

The little has the strength to bury years of depression because an evening touch was given to me to experience. Sickness of heart turned to overcome as a little touch made life different forever more. 

Friday, June 16, 2017

Depression Is...

Father, this mystery of such height, I can only float to its water flow. I am nameless until You bring on my name. I can feel separated and drowning in despair without this fear that has delight as the fixed connection to belong. 

For depression is the weak union, where one is unknowing a fountain is exploding inside the heart. The pressure to soak is so mighty, a reaction has to be given to lift up, let out; spread forth the rhythm of what we are created for. 

A hunger for daily bread will give such glory to wisdom, the Spirit of His Word on earth.  Just as the rocks will cry out to worship if high praise is softened to dull, so will the soul cry for daily bread and fall under burdened and barren if not feasting on bread that moistens the hardened heart unfed.  

Take hold, see the ribbons of praise spewing into this land from my heart to decorate life and the air that I breathe.  See the lift and waves they make to sound forth the eternal timeless beauty of what you create as more glorious than the birds of the air.  

Show the awesome welcome of incomparable love returned to You from the mix of all I have learned of You.   See how it brings me joy from being clothed by Your Love. 

Soaked in this mystery forever. Knowing that when my heart drops, I need but come to the river and swim about in beauty that moves my inner heart to new outward appearance of radiance.   

Lost in assurance.  Consumed in abundance.  Weary of nothing. Depressed forgotten. Laboring only in following the feast of being together forever.  Forever, and EVER…!!!

Pocket Surprises

The time has come. The time has come! 

I live again something so fresh, it is partaken as a constant and yet it has no duplicate. I've come to new, fresh, unpackaged... straight from the throne that rules with such beautiful music, my soul is changed upon every click of now to now. 

The experience is named and built as a greater. Filling out peace on earth, good will to man/woman. The dry bones of want pleads for this rapid river to keep drenching as the guard of my heart wars off the intruder of mindless thoughts. Staying in truth so I can offer me and not someone He does not know.  Recklessly listening to hear a crumbling heart so I can run to push down its remaining hardness, for I am here.  The time has come for yet another unveiling mystery. 

I find love much like I find money in a forgotten pocket's safety.  It was there all along but it had never crossed my mind to look.  Suddenly it is cold and my hands slip into a comfortable position, a pocket of mysteries. Expecting empty but finding riches, the retreat adds a smile and story to tell of a surprise. 

His love has so many benefits. Should I waste it? Should I take such a rich find and spend it on silence or shout out my find of big opportunity. What and how can I put this Good News to its fullest sound? 

Packed in my hands, my heart throws a party. A song spills that requires an army to sing and my decision is made. I join my gift found to invest in His kingdom. Together we put our treasures found. and suddenly. the very picture of the Father who Jesus wanted us to see is before our eyes. Walking and talking on earth as it is in heaven. His kingdom has come.!!!