December 6, 2011
Things get worse? Looking at life on earth it doesn’t appear that it will get better. I’m just asking. Can I not stay in one place? I am so rattled and find myself thinking, 'This is a God thing?' I can’t hold myself together… this was already proven and Jesus was sent.
Father, I am Your child. I sleep tonight with that tied to my heart where NO MAN can go. It is my Name, my Seal of eternity now and then. I feel like I’m hanging over a cliff with threads holding my safety. This sort of makes me know I must be secured with the largest of cables… I don’t know. Looking back I can always see more than my screams wanted, I got victory because You Life had thousands of angels fighting for me. I am weak of body but I am not even bent with unsure trust. I just know that my mind is pleading for understanding and assurance.
December 7, 2011
I woke this morning so puzzled. The Peace in my heart was actually puzzling…! I had slept all night without a single stir. I wasn’t sure even how to respond to it but then I read my thoughts last night before I went to bed and find His Love was Fighting… angry for me… sending His Host to pull off the racket that troubles my soul. I reread…I sleep tonight with that tied to my heart where NO MAN can go. This is tremendously an Anchor to my heart. I only know to sigh WOW.
I am encouraged now to truly search my heart and allow God, who is Big Enough, handle the troubling mind that took place… I will continue with boldness of KNOWING His Love is BIG ENOUGH.
Father, please take joy and not sorrow in what I am about to say. That is my heart… not to cause You sorrow and yet if I trap myself to that sort of thought, I am a slave to ignorance. My weakness trips me from knowing how to pick myself up. Something inside cries that it is easier to stay on the floor; stay down where I can’t be thrown down for I am already there. Who I think I am often keeps me in denial and in true blindness. I’m always asking the wrong questions. I want to awake and ask the questions that will cause my eyes and heart to see clearly Your Review. When my eyes are truly opened, I will not even be recognizable by others. That is okay, I am ready to rid myself of the picture I try to show. Rejection from my Gift is so confusing. If a Gift is Given, I guess I thought it would be mine to grow with. Did I treat the Gift wrong? Did I not serve my Gift? I have not understood. I have read in John… ‘If you are really blind, you would be blameless.’ I’m I blind that I am not really blind? Did a sheep stealer steal my Gift? Was I not looking? Did money draw my Gift away? Are rocks being thrown at me for Trusting You? I am Yours, Your daughter. The same… You with me, You in me, You my Completeness. But death knocked on Gift’s door and it cried it was done, finished with being my Gift. Is this for Your Glory. Are You allowing death to be in Gift’s heart for time to Show the Magnificence of Your Glory? Should I take a nap, Rest while I wait? Death has begun to stink and I want to attack Your Choice to allow stink to move in. I Trust You and I’m running… running,… running… running!!! I have my eyes Fixed upon You as I have seen Your Work so vividly Wondrous. I’m removing the stone that hides my pain. Do what is needed to cause me to Believe with Higher Amazements. Bring Life back to Gift so a whole nation can be gathered under You in this Life. Questions are asked because Answer is needed. Fragrance will be sacrificed as souls see the Kingdom. Children, men and women will place hearts before Your Steps because of eye witness account of seeing the seed buried to reproduce Your Life. Recklessly Service will be displayed as the Voice of Your Glory is Lifted up. Forever Light will be lifted up as this Light Dwells within. Heal the blindness. I am not afraid to be kicked out. I want Your Acceptance, not the acceptance of man. I do NOT refuse to take in You. I Command the Father’s Heart as Truth so I will be a part of what Father is doing. Your Pattern of Service is mine. I wash the feet of Gift. I receive who I am, to Reveal Your Glory. Forgive me for asking WHERE ARE YOU GOING as if I don’t have Trust. I’ve been with You and Your Words are in me. My Work is to take others to the Father as Your Glory is Shown. ALWAYS Truth is staying with me. Alive is my Reward for keeping Your Commandments. Friend, Remind me, those things that bring Conformation. Remind me again that the enemy that steals has no hold on me because of Your Truth. I am inseparable because I am Home in Your Love. Your Joy is my Joy. My life is on the line for Gift. You have Chosen me as a Fruit Bearer. I don’t want to be loved by the world, I want Your Love. God Signs are such a delight of my eyes. Confirmation of all This is explicit. Friend is here, within me, exposing the error of sin. Righteousness comes from Above. Trial and Conviction is our Salvation. Guiding me to all Truths to make sense about all that happens. It will Honor Father with Great Joy like a river overflowing. It is sad when the world throws a party, but Joy that cannot be robbed is from the Asking of Father His Truth. God, oh God, I fall Deeply in Peace for You have Conquered the world and it’s anger towards me. To every DETAIL… EVERY DETAIL of Your Work, COMPLETE in me. The Message is Your Life on Display in me. Your Watch over me is without fault. I join Your Word and the enemy has no hold. I believe in You so that I become one in mind with You, to Show Father that You and I are exactly as Spoken. I drink The Cup Given me and follow Your Love. Your Teachings is Above. I am one of Your disciples. I died according to Your Rule so that I Live in Your Kingdom. You are not guilty of any crime, ever! You are my King. I am Your Garden that Your Love was buried in to. I hold all that Your Death was about and also the Resurrection of that Death which Conquered all sorrow and pain. Death and Resurrection Ascended to Father so that my spirit has Life Eternal and Life Abundant here upon the earth! I received Friend within my Garden to Guide my eyes and heart to all Your Truths. I throw my nets overboard to pull in more Truths then I can contain. Then I eat and count my Blessings with great Joy. Alive, I see You Alive in me. I love You and carry Your Word and Work. To my own earthly death, I follow You. Writing down so much Love, like a Honeymoon never written. I wear Your Love as my story…!