Why Is It?

Oh Lord, 

"why is it" 

that I can be so comforted with Your goodness 

yet so quickly turned inside out 

with thoughts so painful 

of another’s knife in my heart.  

So broken that my words dry up 

and I am stumbling within 

to maintain my balance of who I am.  

Caught in the night, 

in the darkness of words, 

documents addressed to tear me from standing.  

Purposed to derail the strength of love’s power 

with tiny nails 

driven to the sensitive corners of my life.  

---

Fallen now, 

I can’t even think about getting up 

as fear displays them like neon lights,

spears in action to my heart.  

Holding in the center of my soul 

to bury its opportunity to give disease, 

to sing victory triumph 

of its unspoken accomplishment.  

Oh Lord, You are the voice I seek 

so the darts of the enemy 

will dissolve before it hits.  

 Those that got through, 

those that fell upon me in my weakness, 

I crumble under 

and plead Your mercy 

to carry each word into a far country 

to be left and die.  

I find no one, 

not one that has the strength 

to carry this for me.  

No one 

can take away its sting 

that leaves me screaming for relief.  

I am lowly and so terribly weak.  

I cry 

my God, my God… 

WHY have You forsaken me, 

"why is it" 

and then disgust crawls in 

for such a thought.  

All my life 

Your love touching 

and sewing together my torn and mattered soul 

as blessings cover my days. 

Help me...!

Teach me how to love.  

Forgiveness is such a gift from You.  

Jesus forgave in full understanding 

of those that stood so strong against Him.  

He did not forget their offense, 

He did not ignore their offense against Him… 

He did not stay quiet but spoke the Father's Love and Truth.

He always recognized evil yet forgave 

as they offended, 

 causing Him to bleed and die.  

Lord, You look upon me 

in all my stumbling,

knowing my wrong against You

and forgive...!

Can I do this Lord?  

Can I?  

Teach me, 

for You are my creator.  

As Your Spirit fills me, then I can do all things. 

As I offer my thoughts to You tonight… 

all of them, 

all good 

and all bad… 

here I am Lord.  

My total treasure is You, 

oh yes, 

You alone 

are the treasure of my thoughts.  

"why is it"

??

To teach me how to love.

Where else can I go?  

You alone hold this kind of love. 

I lift up my heart with the passion of such abundant love

from heaven's abundance towards me.

I cry inside for the dark scales 

that keep lies alive in those against me

to shatter under the mercy of truth

which sets them free.

Seal truth in the path of footsteps taken

so that no route is available except through

the gates of such freedom speaking.  

Cause its power to speak so loud

that eyes shut, ears plugged

cannot close out its message to save.

When surrender is at its perfect moment

hold arms wide so that the fall

can only result in Your love's catch.

The fear to allow lies exposed 

has only riches as reward.

The flesh that dies allows Your Spirit to grow

and truth sing in key with angels and heaven's knowledge.

Hold the hand of those under such lies against me

in a guiding walk through this dark time.

Salvation has been paid for my own darkness.  I will not hold

anyone in the grip of an enemy attack

but pray for Your heart to bless

with Truth that I myself crave

and find as more delicious than wine.

Jesus, You are the Truth and Light.

I will trust in You and 

lift up my prayer to my Father

in Your Name.