Life Feels Like War

The puzzle of life often feels like war to me, rather than the soft laughter of a lazy day. 

I’ve been determined that God loves me 

and I’ve struggled with 

I’m the tail-end of His thoughts.  

But each position (mountain or valley), I’m finding a history of faithfulness.  His purpose for my solo flight to blend with the army of thousands and thousands of names written upon the palm of His Hand, is His Story in me to make even the purest most beautiful sunrise pale to this picture.  

My place is just to respond… literally.  If I’m at the bottom (for this is only my fallen ability to hear), I ‘respond’ and cry out for my soul to rise from my deception. If I’m at the top (hearing One’s Voice and dancing), I ‘respond’ with filling my soul to overflow that I spill forth. 

The mountain moves by the Sound of His Voice… to me this means that my mountain top experiences are each their own example of what Love is Voicing.  If the mountain moves, and it does, then the valleys move also.  What was once a valley can become a mountain.

I am ever in learning and forever to be listening.  

And most important…. 

Respond…! 

He is a Teacher.

Wine From Him

Capturing something gone wild inside can be like stopping a river... it takes on another outlet once I think I have found a way to contain it. I'm so full of amusement this morning. Let me try to explain. You will not find wine in our house (at least as far as I know), for an accident took us to the edge of confused and now this tasty substance has no invitation. 

But Jesus told the servants to fill the water pots. (John 2) From this, His glory was shown as the ruler tasted and declared a new approach was taken in this wedding… the best for an ending.  To cause all guest to go out rejoicing and forever be a word from their mouth of such a story.  

What was being said here?  Here is what my heart tells me… Jesus knows we will drink from the world’s substance until we run out.  There is no more.  This is when we are open to partake of the supernatural… His Wine (His Holy Spirit).  Since Jesus died for us, we become His bride, His reward.  We have been drinking heavy, but it will run out and I think that is happening. It sure is for Michael and I.  We barely missed a divorce, we found ourselves in the middle of confusing statements from each other, we hardly understood the involvement we were to even have.  We ran out of wine.  But…I’m filling the water pots (my soul) and I’m experiencing new Wine.  Far exceeding all my expectations and/or my imagination.  The pleasure goes beyond words and into an over-spill of what happens inside. 

I had a dream after this awakening this morning about 3:00 a.m.  I was with a nephew, telling him of some wonders.  He gave me a hug.  It was just a kind sort of hug, but not a heart hug.  I said, “Oh my, please (I offered) embrace me.”  I was consumed with love and wanted it to be experienced, not kindly acknowledged.  

I believe God wants us to experience this New Wine. It isn’t something we can make or create.  It is His divine Recipe… becoming filled with the Holy Spirit (Hearing His Sound). Then we will walk out it’s drunken (boldness) spill.  We use this illustration often …. ‘see, Jesus drank wine.’  We buy our own rights to be drunk with man-made wine, rather than fill our pots because we are empty. 

For weeks now I have been pondering this…’Jesus drank wine.’  It has been so confusing to me and I continued to ask about it.  I am grateful for Truth (life abundance) that makes folly such a frazzled rag (unwanted and disposable). I am confident that He will continue to reveal this as I continue to drink this New Wine.