How Bad Does It Hurt to go Deeper?

Have you ever looked back at a prayer and thought... I sure didn't realize His Answer would come this Way!  Today I found this prayer that I prayed about a year ago and I sink as I realize even greater the need to continue deeper. But with a year further into my journey, I have even more knowledge of how needy my heart is, for with every Touch and Visit from on High I have to see the difference between my flesh and His Spirit and this sight sometimes is ADULT CONTENT ONLY.  It feels like I've stepped out on Hot Coals as the blisters swell and the mind crashes.  God is my Rescue as I again pray this same prayer but this time with His Knowledge that trials and pursecution, as well as the Manifestation of His Love, is what makes this happen.  For what do you do when His Spirit begins to reveal the flesh so cold...?  Oh so so easy... you surrender to the Love that Breaks the wall and Soak in His Abundance of Correction and Beauty.  So, what do you do when you see the flesh of your brother or sister or when they see the flesh in me that I may be blinded to?  Oh my God...what do you do?  So far to go... so far to go to understand and be Like my God.  How do You Look upon me with such Eyes of Passion while I continue in my sins?  Do You pat me on the back and Kiss the sin.  No, I see You Speaking and Stretching Your Love towards me in Warnings and Pleas while Holding my Hand if I chose the fall.  So Ready to be with me and Help me get back up.  Promising NEVER to leave me nor forsake me. Oh God, Continue to Teach me a better Way, a different Route, a Greater Escape to Find the Complete You.   Oh God, Take me There... For how bad will it hurt to go deeper.  I cannot let that scare me for there is but One Way... Your Will be done... NOT mine.  Again I pray..!!!!

December 14, 2009 – Take Me Higher

Dearest Father I am so humbled today and taking deep thought of my destiny in You.  Basically, I acknowledge that my present state of contentment in You is so minor to Your true place You would have me to be.  I am so sorry.  I have laid in the Arms of Love and found myself falling into contentment and consumption of it all; failing to carry on with the Work that has been assigned.  I am desperate in all of my ways.  I am sinking so often while struggling to climb.  I find an edge and look out over the land and make camp when it would be best to move on higher.  My goals are weak and small.  My arms are weak from laziness and contentment.  I am wondering in a wilderness with too much time on my hands.  Finding my own enjoyments rather than seeking the Kingdom.  I have asked for Your help but with pleasure only in mind.  I have walked in Your Garden and have stopped to play in the field while brisk winds blow outside. I have refused to put on the armor so to fight the Storm of Your Work.  I have seen battle grounds and have become scared as I find only my own strength to fight and know I will be devoured.  I see with eyes of mercy but respond with a heart of coldness.  I cannot lift my head in the crowd of Your weary soldiers.  The trumpet has sounded and I stand behind a rock in fear.  Oh my God, my deliverer… You must strengthen my feet for war.  You must trouble my waters so that I move on in the path of Your Righteousness. I have fixed my eyes on the beauty in this land rather than the Heavenly Purpose I was designed for.  My destiny has been for such a short focus rather than for a long run.  I search for places to rest and not places to bring Your Kingdom to this earth.  With the Power of Your Holy Spirit as my strength, I know ALL land can be taken but I fearfully see giants and I shrink.  You must give me the eyes of Your Power and Might.  I must be taken to the Place that builds Faith and washes out the grim of complacency.   My heart cries for this change but my flesh runs and hide in fear.  Not my will but Yours be done, oh my God.  Take my heart and renew it in me.  Trouble my flesh in Your Love.  Walking in Your Will has become the drink I crave from morning to night.  Basking in the warmth of Your Love is the refreshment that everything within me finds pleasure.  Forgive me for taking my time to move on.  Forgive me for having such a small focus and react as a child with gimme-gimme all the time.  I have only this life to work with and I do not want to waste it.  Time has become so short and the work so large.  Within Your Arms I know I can travel but waiting to step out has been my downfall.  Take away this fear; show me again the Purpose and Plan.  Give me more chances.  Finish the work You started in my mother and father that has been past on to me so that I can give a strong and powerful Work on to my own children.  What has been taught of You cannot be taken.  With Mercy and Goodness following me, I give my heart to Your Call.  I repent for seeing You so small and I purpose to watch for Your Mightiness and Power.  By the teaching of Your Sweet Holy Spirit, I will take hold and run.  Catch me, oh my Lord, when I fall.  Strengthen me each time.  Save me continually and I will fight for Your Kingdom to Come.  Send the Might of Your Angelic Host around me and my family.  Tear down the strongholds that fight for my attention.  Clear my eyes and heart of evil so that I become aware of Your Victories.  Bind me and my husband tight so that ‘one’ together has the strength of Your Mighty Unspeakable Army.  Seal Your Work upon our foreheads as we run and not walk.  I stand at another door with Your Name written solid in blood and I run in with the safety of It’s Freedoms and Walls of protection.  I am Yours.  May Your Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven in this world created by You.  I am Yours..!!!