Wrongs - My Own

Father, my heart walks in this morning.  My love seems to be dancing with a song that won’t stop. What amazing love to carry within!  

I am so convicted by such a drenching of Your love.  I look at circumstances of painful thoughts and carry these to You, for the difficulties I cause among those I cherish can become complicated.  As Your child I seek a moment to tell You of their pain that may be caused by my own misunderstanding or strong will to have my own secret self indulgence.  I cry for their freedom to forgive while holding to my own locked closet of punches I feel overwhelmed and shut down over.  My greatest pleasure is to come and admire Your place with me, my place with You; and yet I know I am stumbling when looking around to see another that also Your heart yearns to find safe in Your keeping.  As Your child this morning, I am able to bring this heavy load to You and take on Your yoke, for Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light.  I acknowledge this displacement of my heart and acknowledge Your sincere want to correct the minds of those You love.  How great is Your love.  How sweet is this love that has unlimited space to bear my burdens that I both cause and that others cause upon me.  I am so moved by Your compassion and involvement of every thought that passes my heart and mind.  Jesus gave me Your address.  Jesus showed me Your passion.  He made this conversation possible by first His walk upon earth and death that could not hold Him.  As my heart names those who stumble over my way, heal the bridges between us as I surrender to acknowledge my inability to make my own way award me pleasures.  I take the lighter way, Your Way; with a tight hold to the Way Jesus taught.  

Thank You for causing me to recall a dream I had a few nights ago in which You spoke so kindly to my troubling heart.  As I slept in an uncomfortable state of mind I was taken to a room and left alone as I awaited those who would come in and speak deep into me the faults and failures I owned and would give opinion of me.  No one came so I was taken to another room to await this same knowledge but again no one came.  I stood in the room with such draining and difficulty of this wait.  Oh how it hurt to be judged while inward not knowing what actions had brought about this trail.  I waited and waited for so long as my heart grew heavier and heavier.  No one came.  Room after room to wait and wait and wait.  No one ever came.  I woke up so discouraged and heavy with the burden of my unknown sentences.  I stirred in my bed trying to awake so that I could begin my day but this troubling dream held its pain against my chest.  Then I heard Your heart say with such fact behind its question to me that my whirlwind mind suddenly stopped.  You spoke, “Did anyone come to condemn you?”  I said “no, no one showed up.”  You said, “Neither do I condemn you.”  I wish I could say I rejoiced and skipped like a free spirit set free from its cage but I was so stunned.  Stunned..! I lay there with that same heaviness and pondered… what? I did not know how to react! But love again stayed close and hugged me as I opened to receive what had soaked into the thoughts of a heavy momma's heart.  As a smile began to develop upon my heart, I recalled a message in the Bible of such a lady being taken before the Lord, my sweet Jesus, condemned by others and He stopped all actions as He spoke these same words to her life.  How do I carry such a forgiveness while I yet have such little understanding of how it all works; for I hold so many failures and my walk is feeble.  My passion is but a spark and yet His is a fire.  

Father, I let Your love speak to my heart this morning as You call this dream to remembrance.  I am Your child, created under Your Love, and in this place I roam with my big and small accounts while Your Love covers my walk.  I give my all to You to keep my soul.