Four days ago I was in such a state of hunger for the Lord. I'm talking deep walks together that I have grown to enjoy. It did not happen as things piled up and I grew so weary and in want. I began to write the pain I was experiencing. It went like this...
Poppa, what do I do about disappointments when my heart suffers from a missed cloud You were in? I was so looking forward to riding its lining as its wind blew, swirling around me. I ran to grasp on to the current but found I arrived at the conclusion and not at its beginning escort. Sensations of sobs touch my deepest impressions. The impact prints its’ sorrow before me like a news headline that strikes its words in bold color "MISSED APPOINTMENT". Lost, disoriented, I stumble as my mind goes adrift; floating, wandering into what could have been. It’s as if my mouth becomes dry and traps my heart from speaking with voice. Could I be so injured? I ache with a spoiled distress and its soreness lingers into my existence of time.
***
I was passionately broken. Today though, was a moment I count as so unexpected to the opposite. For I was minding my own work load and the extreme of something so moving came into my room. I literally gasped as I could do nothing but acknowledge this Presence, as I dropped what I was doing. Sobbing, I wrote:
Why have You walked in? Why? Why have You entered with such power causing my dry eyes to become fountains. My upright position leans, as I tremble, for I cannot remain as was. Busily I was working, but my heart fills with passion, I cannot continue as was. I shake, I tremble, for I do not know how to hold a King and His Presence. I do not know how to honor such Royalty. I can hardly breathe as You remain. I never want to move for I have been kissed with purity as it wraps its lingering image into my mind, body and soul. My eyes search to find what Your Presence has come to say. What do I lay before You? What do I prepare as my response? I am lost in Love’s entangling insanity. I have dropped whatever I was and now I cry with sincerity, "I am not responsible for the actions of my heart caught within this embrace". Your Voice begins with sounds that reach the lowest of sounds. Notes that take me to the bottom of the scale! I listen, oh I listen, as it ponders its place and performs while I am captivated of its intenseness. Holding its sound so low, purpose and plans grab me and I swiftly give no struggle to this warring authority. Commands released in the heavens, I hear its energy give no alternative to outcome. A Light that has no shadow, only brilliance, pierced the dense well-chosen path to find me. My breathing intensifies as each breath I let out, pushes, as if it’s been instructed to give all, in order to bring in new fresh air. Reaching, was this Sound, to play me, to hear and become part of its song as it starts to rise. Flying in speeds unheard of, I fly to high notes that amaze the ears of angels as they have not let up on their assignment to watch. I shake in a trilling voice of extreme for my Sheppard left the 99 and found me. Grace begins to sing in different flavors of sound, while His embrace carry’s me into His Kingdom. Gently now, I find a smile slowly developing, as I dare to look around at where I have come. Where His Song floats my heart as trust smiles back. His Name takes on a Face rather than just knowledge and its loveliness causes my hands to reach about and touch His eyes, His nose, His mouth; as if seeing it for the first time. I see this man now and I lose all grip with holding back all tears as I wonder why I have not seen Him before. Was He a fable, a good story, a person of good character that I hoped somehow if I said His Name, I would get something? But here He is, Jesus, a God with amazing features I can’t describe. Singing with me, for me, over me, about me... we are His Love Song. He is real with a voice that sounds. He has risen and He has taken me with Him. Locked in His Arms, we dance to heavens tunes.
Poppa, what do I do about disappointments when my heart suffers from a missed cloud You were in? I was so looking forward to riding its lining as its wind blew, swirling around me. I ran to grasp on to the current but found I arrived at the conclusion and not at its beginning escort. Sensations of sobs touch my deepest impressions. The impact prints its’ sorrow before me like a news headline that strikes its words in bold color "MISSED APPOINTMENT". Lost, disoriented, I stumble as my mind goes adrift; floating, wandering into what could have been. It’s as if my mouth becomes dry and traps my heart from speaking with voice. Could I be so injured? I ache with a spoiled distress and its soreness lingers into my existence of time.
***
I was passionately broken. Today though, was a moment I count as so unexpected to the opposite. For I was minding my own work load and the extreme of something so moving came into my room. I literally gasped as I could do nothing but acknowledge this Presence, as I dropped what I was doing. Sobbing, I wrote:
Why have You walked in? Why? Why have You entered with such power causing my dry eyes to become fountains. My upright position leans, as I tremble, for I cannot remain as was. Busily I was working, but my heart fills with passion, I cannot continue as was. I shake, I tremble, for I do not know how to hold a King and His Presence. I do not know how to honor such Royalty. I can hardly breathe as You remain. I never want to move for I have been kissed with purity as it wraps its lingering image into my mind, body and soul. My eyes search to find what Your Presence has come to say. What do I lay before You? What do I prepare as my response? I am lost in Love’s entangling insanity. I have dropped whatever I was and now I cry with sincerity, "I am not responsible for the actions of my heart caught within this embrace". Your Voice begins with sounds that reach the lowest of sounds. Notes that take me to the bottom of the scale! I listen, oh I listen, as it ponders its place and performs while I am captivated of its intenseness. Holding its sound so low, purpose and plans grab me and I swiftly give no struggle to this warring authority. Commands released in the heavens, I hear its energy give no alternative to outcome. A Light that has no shadow, only brilliance, pierced the dense well-chosen path to find me. My breathing intensifies as each breath I let out, pushes, as if it’s been instructed to give all, in order to bring in new fresh air. Reaching, was this Sound, to play me, to hear and become part of its song as it starts to rise. Flying in speeds unheard of, I fly to high notes that amaze the ears of angels as they have not let up on their assignment to watch. I shake in a trilling voice of extreme for my Sheppard left the 99 and found me. Grace begins to sing in different flavors of sound, while His embrace carry’s me into His Kingdom. Gently now, I find a smile slowly developing, as I dare to look around at where I have come. Where His Song floats my heart as trust smiles back. His Name takes on a Face rather than just knowledge and its loveliness causes my hands to reach about and touch His eyes, His nose, His mouth; as if seeing it for the first time. I see this man now and I lose all grip with holding back all tears as I wonder why I have not seen Him before. Was He a fable, a good story, a person of good character that I hoped somehow if I said His Name, I would get something? But here He is, Jesus, a God with amazing features I can’t describe. Singing with me, for me, over me, about me... we are His Love Song. He is real with a voice that sounds. He has risen and He has taken me with Him. Locked in His Arms, we dance to heavens tunes.
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