I'm Ready to Shut Up and Listen

Job 40:3-5 Job answered:

   "I'm speechless, in awe—words fail me.
   I should never have opened my mouth!
I've talked too much, way too much.
   I'm ready to shut up and listen."

(The Message)

God, I am failing and I repent.  I am wondering around in the Charlotte knowledge of who You are and I have not even came close.  For I have never hung a star.  I have never created even a tiny seed that begins a field of trees.  I speak with a crippled heart.  I fall all the way to the bottom with pride and determination that I have answers.  Living before Your Eyes is so hard to understand.  You have Placed the Beginning and I have zero understanding of where I am in that Timing.  I do not even get myself up in the mornings.  I speak of One I read about and think I am an expert; reading from the mind that travels many directions during a setting.  I can hardly get through a sentence without feeling the pride of my own words.  Where can I go with such silliness.  How can I escape a place that makes me feel worth and tells me if I move I will die?   I say I want to sit before Your Eyes and yet when You Call I crumble.  How is it possible?  I really do not have a clue.  Jesus is the Shield that Protects me from death and yet I cannot fathom how this applies to my day as moment by moment can seem eternal.  I am so lost in my own way.  I know only to lay my crocked heart before you.