Papa, how much More can You Love me?

Papa, how much More can You Love me?  I open my eyes this morning with difficulty for they are heavy.  How and with what can I show gratefulness?  Oh God… HOW..!!!?  How do I tell You that I am so pleased and so honored that Your Love Finds me Your Subject.  I am overwhelmed with what You have done.  I am showered with Blessings that wrap me up in Beauty that is not even my own.  It is Love in exchange for anger and confusion.  It is Love in exchange for such a heavy heart.  Such Peace to cause me to be Still and find You with Your Total Thoughts Working for my good.  I am grateful as I see Your Tender and Amazing Kindness, so please, find these tears happy tears for I know that in all this You have done, You have Promised many more of Your Abundances as life continues to be mine in You.   It is hard to look at You, I am so sorry, but it is gives me such humility to receive such Wonders.  Sometimes it is hard to accept with understanding for You know everything about me, I try to hide but You always Find me and even watch me trying to hide.  I am a troubled child and I become angry and think I’m finding safety in doing so.  You Wait with Long Suffering and while You Reach for my heart You Speak….’It’s going to be alright!’  Oh my God, my Papa Father that Formed me so long ago, I know not how to say thank You.  How could I know what I was getting into when I asked Jesus to be my Lord and teach me who You are.  How could I know what I was getting into when I accepted Your Sweet Spirit to be all the Fulfillments of Your Heart for me.  You knew me when this happened.  You knew how I would walk this out.  You knew and yet You kept Speaking to me, to turn around all my falling to only see You more Clearly.  How and with what can I show gratefulness?  I am walking with just a need.  I am seeking because I have such needs.  I am reaching out because I am in need.  Papa, how much More can You Love me?  How much More can You Continue to have Eyes for me?  I cannot understand ‘always’ for I have not yet had this be my own personality so I only know to keep seeking You and let Your Work be a Demonstration of what You are, the I Am.  Your Righteousness is all I can wear for my own has holes and is stained with selfishness.  I do give You much praise, so much adoration for I do know Your Love is and has been Complete Faithfulness.  Thank you for giving me an earthly father to understand so much better how You are.  I found a note yesterday just stashed away in a receipt box; so easily it could have been accidently tossed.  I know You were behind my daddy’s love and Find such Pleasure in Flowing through us to our children.  I love my own children so much and I know that is Love from You.  It was December 16, 2003 and daddy called me but I was not home.  He left a message on my voicemail.  He sang it to me like he has done so many times as he makes up his own words.  Here is his song. 

Did you ever know

how much I love you?

Did you ever know

you are a special one?

Did you ever think

how much you make my

heart blink?

Happy birthday to you…

even though

it’s early

and not your birthday.

My birthday is in October so it was a long ways from my birthday but that is just like Your Love… way ahead of time..!

I am so grateful for Your Abundance…!  

Psalm 145: (The Message Bible)
 ⁸ God is all mercy and grace—
      not quick to anger, is rich in love.
 ⁹ God is good to one and all;
      everything he does is suffused with grace.


 ¹³ Your kingdom is a kingdom eternal;
      you never get voted out of office.

   God always does what he says,
      and is gracious in everything he does.
 ¹⁴ God gives a hand to those down on their luck,
      gives a fresh start to those ready to quit.

Papa, how much More can You Love me?