Dancing with my heart, my words, my song, and my love, before my God…

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who
LOVE YOUR NAME may rejoice in you. Psalms 5:11

Monday, July 11, 2011

Broken Under His Love

I am so broken this morning as I wonder around in such Pure Love of my Poppa’s.  Not discouraged to give up but in an overwhelmed knowledge of no-knowledge ..:0)   I realize I am learning this Pure Love by the Drops of His Understanding upon my weak heart, trying to remain standing while it Pierces my every thought.  For how can a child understand the details of building a house that will stand all the winds and storms of life to come except as time allows - the child is taken into these detailed steps - one nail by nail until the completion of a house.  As builders of a dwelling from childhood, we try to accomplish something we have no sense in knowing our ignorance, but we build and build and build.  Too often upon broken or rotten wood that will not hold but a moment… but we build.  For we must survive.  Love has been in abundance in our life and yet when truly shaken and opportunity to Love Purely as I Corinthians 13 speaks, we are clueless to produce.  I have seen a Love that has Taken my heart as a Fire Set and it cannot be calmed.  I am so Ravished by its Abundance that it causes me to fall on my face and weep.  How can it be?  How can it be…!!!!  I see my ‘love’ and find my knees trembling as it dissolves as black smoke so easily vanishing with even the look of a disapproval from whom I give it.  I weep as I take another look at True Love that picks me up from my failures.   I feel like I have slipped into a Romance unheard of, unknown, unpredictable as it Carries such emotions and purposes for its Love Given.  I am Safe and yet I am so broken.  No match for its Eyes of Passion.  I know I am about to be Consumed and yet it is exactly what I keep seeking.  I realize that God is Throwing my husband and I both into the most uncomfortable position we could have ever realized to understand that what we have called love is mere flesh.  What He wants for us is Love that is Heavenly and Eternal.  I can’t help but want to get into this Fire with both feet and yet I’m Burning up and exhausted.  Last night was a powerful  night for us.  Everything around us is breaking so that the Real Son can Shine.  I’m scared and yet never been more excited.  I’m in so much flesh pain and yet I have never known such Love in Abundance.  I want to escape Him but yet I cry He never lets me…!!!!!   Oh God, I cry….. take it AWAY….!!!!  And with every breath He Lays the Sweetness of His Want to be with me.  His Passion over me that Drives Him to View all my dreams as Ours.  I am so lost.  I am so Loved that it hurts to not return it.  It is so hard to look upon Pure and stand.  I wonder…. Oh God…I wonder… as I am Drawn to This Throne, how can I stand in the Wind of such Force.  Jesus, Lover of my soul…. All Consuming Fire…. BURN from inside out the world that has taken me captive.  Send This Romance into all the corner of my existence.  Teach me with the Spirit that Lives and Moves me.  Fix my attention to the Fierce Fire of His Passion.

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