Crippled

The heaviness of morning can, at times, feel so permanent. It takes a miracle of thought, which You give out so abundantly, to pull into the comfort of trusting and believing all things will work to my good. The struggle has my mind rolling about in false facts I can’t lose. It’s as if there is a conference going on in my heart and the subject is all about judging the day, person, or event. The run to my comfort addictions, mess with the schedules of walking by faith, not by sight. A pack of deployed messages invades with force as I wobble to fight or surrender. My thoughts wander; how can I ever survive this battle. I’m troubled with the keeping of what I have, to the keeping of what I have deemed to be mine. Throwing suggestions out like bombs of war so this invisible trouble maker (lies and/or truth) can see I’m a fighter.  I can feel, with passion, the struggle reaches far past my own abilities and has a Warrior about my business.  Yet, as I watch and experience, I can question the outcome I might visualize happening. I have indeed become even my own enemy full of slack and self-power I hold as weapons.

I sense I am surrounded by my worst enemy now… myself!

In full armor, I know my weaknesses and I bleed with attacks. I cover my wounds with even more poison as infectious thoughts declare my near-death to the enemy of my soul. I find a pool of magical waters where angels come and stir the healing of mind, body, soul. I lay my mat as close as I can get and rest. Resting in the final decisions of self-burdened lost hope, I wait. Moments become hours. Hours become days. I now live in my norm, the rest that takes all of me to its destiny of despair. What I laid down to experience, I now live as the ruin of my misfortune… I believe I am crippled.

A stranger came by. His life impacted my soul to look upon Him. I find fire within that does not give explanation, only curious findings to explore. I am watching as He passes. As I judge Him immediately, this Outsider makes a move toward me. I know I must sorrowfully explain my dilemma again, as I have millions of times to others. I have now developed a familiar line of defeat that seems to give those of hearing a cause to pause before continuing their own self-owned misery.

The transition of conversation begins. I speak my anguish but I am unfamiliar with the work of Words being delivered to me. They do not make sense to my mind that has warred for so long. The tingling that these Words cultivate creates a connection that gives me vivaciousness as it becomes a rule. I dare follow? I have longed for this moment and yet here I lay in my conclusions I am crippled. I cannot, screams my judging heart.

And suddenly I hear… Come On!  Come, pick up your life story and walk with Me. Come on!

I lose fear as this Unknown comes to raise me back into hope. Exuberance is exchanged for my apathy and I am standing before I hardly realize I made the choice to do so. Fire within long ago had been burning; I had just lost the knowledge of it. What I deemed as permanent was a self-crippling message placed to give my finale (whether my day or my life) a blow to keep me down.

But, the Savior came and looked upon me with passion and desire. He took my self-condemned heart I accepted and gives me the very opposite message that I am NOT CRIPPLED.  Then He tells me His Name.  He says He is Jesus and He is the Way, Truth, and Life. His Message will keep me strong and my legs will walk in power by the Word of my testimony. As I travel in the enemy’s camp (lies), I will be victorious and not fall. I can follow Him and live alive within His Kingdom. His Name brings salvation and He knew me before I saw Him. He was there when I was conceived; the design and placing of my life were well considered. I am whole in His Love. I am whole, spotless, blameless, and His greatest desire. Just follow. His Voice will live within me and I will be brave.

Mornings of glory will become days of glory. Days will become years. An eternity of glory will be mine…

Revelation 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony (LIFE STORY); and they loved not their lives unto the death.

John 5:1-8 Sometime later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals. 2 Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. 3 Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. 5 One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

7 “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

8 Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat (LIFE STORY) and walk.” 9 At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.