Shaken In Piercing Love Attacks

Reach to all the hiding places, Lord.  

The places that I try so hard 

to hide from You.  

As I walk so softly to these nightmares, 

I know that Spirit 

has my hand 

and I can be healed of these unknowns.   

You are so mighty 

that You can heal 

what I don’t know, 

while I walk not knowing 

it was walking 

I was unable to do.  

Lost, 

I search for only my eyes to be open, 

to love that fills this hunger 

You created in me.   

Watching Your work 

in me 

causes me to breath differently; 

slower, 

more focused to life 

rather than some expected end.  

Your work gives this disturbance 

of my empty soul 

a shock that turns all bitter into sweet.  

With every nip that goes through me, 

squeezes me to take notice, 

I rush to the next nibble 

I might find if I dare to look.  

What are You doing, 

my soul responds?  

What did You say, 

my heart questions?  

Why did You come, 

my mind tries to keep up?  

When does this change my soul 

to the rich eyes of understanding?  

Created in me 

is this love for Your Name, 

the Kingdom Jesus brought, 

and yet the fight 

to bring in my trash, 

my dirty clothes 

to the city of Pure.  

Forgive me Beautiful One 

as I look upon such wonder, 

set me as an example 

of Your passion 

by allowing me to see freedom 

in giving up my life.  

My eyes open 

to see the fire 

that burns upon the earth.  

Oh that I give You all glory 

that I might be 

in the mysterious grove of passion 

that takes a hold of my heart 

so what I see 

is the un-matched sounds 

of Holy while it works in me.  

Shaken with piercing love attacks, 

I roll in the softness 

of reestablishing the foundation 

of Your purpose for mankind.  

The east is not far enough 

from the west 

to show how large 

Your love is for me.  

Asleep in the Rest 

of Your care, 

I place my days 

for the total maximum 

I could obtain 

from Your eminent friendship.  

For I am a wondering pilgrim, 

set on staying 

inside this kingdom of Jesus’ Name.  

Unfolding is the Spirit 

that sing in this kingdom 

that rescues me 

from all harm (my own disorders) 

and washes my feet 

that I walk 

in His pure life given.

Do You Really Want To Waste Your Love On Me

How grateful to know my own love could NEVER exceed God’s love and yet ridiculously how many times I measure God’s love according to how I love another.  For surely God ‘would do’ this or He ‘wouldn't work' this way - completely operating from my own conclusions.

I must remind myself; for I fail desperately in loving those assigned to walk in my path; creation He loves..!

And I do not speak such foolishness to work into some sort of condemning place for mankind but to ponder the wondrous love that reaches so far past my own love or what I have seen and analyzed as love. With great desire I plead to understand more of His ravishing love and allow it to pour upon me, for only then can I give freely.  Each portion of His love that imparts within my heart is potential for abundance to change me and those I wish to love. 

Oh to lift up my soul and experience what it does inside and all around me. 

To humbly cry.  Cry for whatever it takes to wait as love develops, even through my impurities, the cracking crumbling of my hardened heart for His hand to mend. 

Be still oh my soul.  Peace reach to the fallen heart that whines for unhealthy love of mankind and  turn me inside out so that I am open for real love.  With the greatest stretch I look for Hope.  Seeking Hope’s face to hold my arms too often weary. 

Hope, take away the voice inside that wants divine love wrapped up in pretty man made smiles, please; as I scream out of control…don’t forget to mention all I have faithfully called ‘good’. 

But miraculously, even on this edge of insanity, His heart of spotless pure motives, sweep in with precious love rules of unmerited, undeserved grace to cover all my missing marks, with His assortment of perfect discipline.

Deeper and deeper insight walks to pick me up, shows me how ‘I’ am singled out with the dynamics of every cell in my body, this love that proves it will not remove its eyes from me.

Captured by tender thoughts, 

yet while I am being carried 

I caution God, 

“Do you really 

want to waste 

Your love on me?”  

Again I measure my worth according to how I might love even my deepest loves.  Easily I have concluded how one could get along without me. 

It’s as if then I see 

His tears begin to form 

for the loss He feels.  

Now, I've done it…!  But I dare to take a second look, He remains in a stance of waiting.  Somehow I feel He will wait day and night for me. Really, I think? 

Oh God, REALLY, day and night? 

I begin to  see a new picture.  A picture of His son Jesus, there on the cross waiting to die.  Hanging in pain with hope for me.  That "Hope"  I keep looking for, was taken to extreme so I could carry its power in every situation I would cross.  Hope for now, hope for my future, hope for my children, hope for the eternity spoken of for me.  

Hope, precious hope that enters a bride in waiting, as her eyes frantically watch all details to be its best within her creative heart and mind.  

The joy of hope begins to swell as love plants itself within the soil of my heart; maturity to being born again into His kingdom. 

My prayer changes…!  Come, oh Holy One, come and show me more about steps to the arms who longed for me before I was born.  It isn't about me any more, it is about His love.  This heart stopping pain where I cannot believe His love so deep, disappears.  His most precious gift was sent and hope stirs all my senses to hear each plea made for me to be lead to His lap that He might cuddle me in riches and rejoice in His creation of me.  

Hear me sing to the dance of such love, I am Yours…!  This hope is Your Hope in me!

Dance is Jesus Thoughts Turned to Music

Sweet Lord, 

I want to dance 

Your grace tonight. 

I want to dance the song 

that is in my being 

to the lifting of my soul.  

Actions that lock me down, 

be released 

to follow not after my own good 

but with the Name I love 

upon my lips 

for who You are forever more.  

Jesus, see my eyes dancing 

with my gaze turned 

to include my smile 

as my thoughts become music 

I respond to.  

As the beauty of what I hear 

keeps my moves rising, 

I hold the power of this kingdom 

running its aroma 

to fill me body, soul, and spirit. 

Your love kisses 

my emotions 

to assure my dance is enjoyed 

as You seek the earth 

for those joining in truth 

to declare this perfect song.  

Skipping my feet 

with the run 

of a million sounds about me, 

I dance to a few here and there 

that speak love to my ears.  

Grabbing paths that connect all things 

to the center of this attraction, 

the Lord Jesus Christ, 

I stop to breath in such a sight.  

I fold my hands about my chest 

and open them upward 

to dance my vow 

to love You forever 

with all that I can 

and as often as I might.  

The stereo of blended tunes 

bless the stage of this worship dance 

formed from thoughts of Jesus.  

Tears shine upon sparkled dance floors 

as servants breaks chains 

and join the dance 

that comes from death to life.  

Hear the music, 

the sounds of His Name 

from the core of hearts 

surrendering to the forever God.  

See the dance of saints 

as beauty floats 

from their mouth 

and bounces from soul to soul.  

Songs of what Jesus has done 

spring forth 

and its melody causes feet to dance.  

A mighty roar waves about the sky 

as it holds tremendous power of praise.   

Hearts forget themselves 

and become focused 

on what is pouring from Father’s heart.  

Dancing is a response 

from Jesus thoughts 

turned into music. 

What I Search For

Poppa, going deeper and deeper to You, Your identity, Your deity; walking about the royal house, I seem to have to dig within me - as well as dig within what is written, what is said about You, to find more.  I speak or ask to know more but then it seems as if it is impossible to know You lest I search to the inner parts of my own soul.  I'm talking so real with self, it hurts; in that place that tries to shut down, shut off anyone from going there, including and especially myself. Thoughts that float so quietly lest I cast them away; for I know when sounded I would readily not welcome such imagination nor give rights to live within me. "I don’t want to look at that thought," I say…. And so it stays, sitting in wait, sitting still until it can burst out its destruction it has intended to produce; patient to wait its full sin.

I want more of You and yet if I do not search for honesty of who I am or what is it I search, I remain clueless and/or without manna that my heart knows as perfect.  Speaking the imperfections of others somehow slip easily from my lips as Spirit knows well the faults of evil.  But to turn light and truth inward; to allow Holy to guide its shining brilliant light freely about all my still motionless charged self-facts would be stirring up mud in water I want to drink.  My mind fights this logic of sanctification by the wonders of holiness You are.

But oh how thirsty I am today!  My heart speaks as with unknown tongues, stirring the deep; melting the cold frozen layers of ice I reserve for my sin to remain.  So I dig to the confessions that want to hide, that I might sing a new song of merriment.  Confessions, dead works that work to the top; so that I find total redemption this righteousness brings to my life. Your commandments are so pure and wise.  

What do I search for?

Poppa, like a star standing in its perfect place to reflect such a light that gives it such beauty -  this beauty I long for; for it is what gives me complete satisfaction when burning through me its work.  

What I search for?

When You see if there be any wicked way in me, I am released from chains about my heart that I did not know was even there.  The weight of such silly sin became a part of my daily run and I just thought it was supposed to be.  

What I search for?

I openly plea for Your perfect light, so I dance right out of chains.  I sing my repentance and You laugh with me as I experience Your commitment to keep me fully pleasing.

As a parent guarding and guiding a child to a full future, Your absolute, Your path for me is my meditation.  I am distracted but fail to find just what distraction misguided me so I come now and say purify me.  Cleanse me as I plunge into this river of mercy for the richer things, Your gaze.  

What I search for?

I cannot do this on my own so I ask to be enlightened.   I know You will never leave me and yet this must be assured in constant revelations of love pouring through me in discipline and pardon as sin blinds me. 

Ultimately....What I search for?

I need more of who You are and less of who I am.  Help me identify the differences…!

Jealousy - The Door To Love

I have a constant busy mind 

and yet my soul never stops 

yearning for Your gaze, 

Your presence, 

which seems to stop 

all the circulation of information.  

Not that I just stand 

in this delight, 

this joy 

for its moment only; 

but that I gather luxuriant 

Word 

this passage presents.  

What my eyes just caught 

before this entrance 

will then make common 

into uncommon, 

and its meaning will pour throughout me 

with its unique diverse picture 

of Your Door to Love, 

as it pulls me past its frame 

and on to its room 

much broader 

than my mind could expand to 

otherwise.  

Inside I will feel 

Your jealous want of me 

and find it puzzling; 

but as I accept this heart, 

Your heart, 

I will begin to find 

my own jealous extremes 

that I would never 

put another god before You 

and my own yearning

that You never put another

before me.  

There it becomes plain 

so I might get a portion 

of this wonder.  

I was created 

separate from any other.  

I 

was made 

from Your image 

to be eternally enjoyed 

and have joy 

as this jealousy 

vows its commitment; 

~I in You, You in me~ 

Jealousy holds this bond, 

this Door to Love 

– I am Yours, You are mine– 

As jealousy grows, 

love thickens; 

and as outside 

tries to lure 

with higher and higher fascination, 

hearts with history 

fight to be one fiercely.  

Storms come 

to knock down this 

Door to Love, 

for such mighty beauty 

such jealousy

 sounds 

about the universe.  

But jealous love, 

I in You, You in me

…. It forms one, 

not two....

So Condemned My Heart Moves

Condemned, so condemned my heart moves yet You speak against this conclusive score.  But then why do I add all things up and come so short.  Why this irrevocable display before action and after action pounding to win its determined residence.  Why is sight positioned to toil against seasons of weakness, committed to bring my soul to winter in the heat of wondrous summer?   Why do I fight, with possessiveness, my right to hold to my own strength; and yet I see clearly that weakness is the fate of my days, observing my flesh giving way to death’s claim I return to dust? 

Condemned, domed to come to nothing; verses convicted, rising to favor Your Plan.   So closely woven that only worship, fixing my eyes to the One who bids me rest in the middle of these glaring failures, can divide and bring me to safety rather than falsely suffer in a dooms standing.  Precious is the death that gives me the meditation of new life; transforming my way to new memories of change.  

Bring me the fear of Poppa’s love.  For fear has the wisdom that does not allow false room to roam.  Fear is love wrapped in knowing.  When knowing, who would be foolish to move other ways.  Striking false with fear anoints its piercing point and brings sweet aroma to surface.  Fear produces solid focus with unfaltering vision.

I struggle taking my heart to many devotions and slip on false gods.  Convict with Your promise You love those You discipline.  Raise a standard in me where this fear that towers upon such love, destroys the voice of condemnation, as sweet scented conviction increases to kiss me away from ruin and direct me to abundant joy.   

When accusations attack to question where my treasure is, I want to be found guilty of cherishing the cross, cherishing the discipline that gives You absolute open freedom to say what You must and all words are devoured by my thirsty soul to drink in as if were my last.  I want this covering that gives the angel armies less work on me and more against my enemy.  I yearn for this hand of mercy so kind to trouble wrong within me and shake out distrust for total trust in Savior.  I want my words to be as a song playing in the background of Your love’s exposure.    You sing Poppa, and I will dance to each note.  You pour Poppa, and I will scatter it to icing the land.  I want my steps to be about following, not leading.  Your glory shine and I will reflect its brightness.   

Purify my heart, let me be as gold as I look upon Your Holy. 

More Than I Can Hold

Help me Father, 

help me this morning 

with this thrust of my soul 

to worship.  

~

I find myself wanting to speak 

with such a blast 

that it blows a stairway 

from my thoughts to Your throne 

that I might declare over and over 

the expression “Holy”.  

That I might stand, sit, fall, bow, dance, 

sing this love 

coming from a part of me 

that cannot contain 

what is filling me up.  

Placing within me 

more than I can hold, 

a praise 

that whirls in the walls of my body 

wanting the escape 

and cover You 

with the fragrance of what is happening.  

Angelic dwelling around me 

like a conference is about to start.  

Seating is a stand-only auditorium 

for only hearts are invited.  

A melting of side attractions 

have begun to fade 

as One I am to introduce 

has an entrance 

we await from adoption to the festival.  

Who I am 

cries as warmth 

sets under my soul a fire.  

Who I am 

rises with my voice 

heard in other lands 

as Word fills the earth 

for us to become one 

with Trinity’s Face.  

Nations trembles 

as Holy is released 

to echo 

yesterday, today and forever 

together under God.  

Heaven is in its place 

and falling 

to the souls of those 

who hold Holy 

as its sacred kingdom come.  

Open the pores within me 

that I ooze this worship 

as I pass forth 

Holy, Holy, Holy 

to be sung without stop.  

Beautiful fear be mine.  

Fear that brings wisdom 

so I give my praise 

“Holy” 

with washed hands 

and a contrite spirit.  

As I come close Lord, 

as I feel this good pleasure 

of wonders of wonders; 

I desire this fear 

that wakes the passions created in me 

for Your glory 

and slaps down 

the passions my flesh screams for.  

I have Your kindness 

which delivers all things 

to purposely direct my eyes 

to this Holy place.  

Be upon me, 

behold my yearning 

that is bigger than I can hold.  

With my passion 

I now shout 

with air from lungs full of worship 

never to stop 

but into eternity, 

“Holy, Holy, Holy…..”  

See Beyond

I am astounded my sweet Lord; 

and when I arrange the emotions 

that come from this outbreak, 

I wonder 

why 

am/was I so dazed.  

I see beyond human kindness this morning 

and realize the glory of Your gifts 

and how charmingly 

You apply me with strength 

to build faith 

to walk in a place 

where I can add up the known 

and be so empty.  

But, 

to add up the unknown, 

the riches of Your glory, 

the riches of Your endowment promised 

to those who don’t see 

but believe – 

I rejoice in the rain of abundance.   

For Your wisdom is such a mystery

… 

it could be in my look upon a rock 

and I hear Your salvation calling me 

to stand upon this Rock 

and build my house.  

Heavenly wisdom 

can be in a ride with a friend 

and from their mouth 

comes tomorrows supply 

I will need when it arrives.  

A call to a parent 

can bring Your financial supply 

as they direct my work 

to include a forgotten support.  

My observations 

whirl around this life created 

to bring You pleasure 

and I discover a new invention

…

yet it is not a new invention at all, 

but just my own spirit 

connecting to the adoration 

of being one with Father, Son, 

by His Spirit.

"Intimacy"

only seen and known

in Your mystery.  

As the heart of my total focus 

cherishes the gift of weightlessness, 

I uncover 

the treasure of each interruption; 

or the true insight of each battle, 

the goal to understand and gaze 

upon Love in motion.   

You have placed a space 

for me to track down history, 

detect the outcome of having nothing 

and finding everything 

wanted and needed.  

How to walk in the dark 

and watch light triumph 

as it gains my favor 

and I live to breath 

simply to consume more of its warmth.  

Astounded my sweet Lord, 

for though I am surrounded by tangible, 

I am intrigued 

by intimacy 

of heaven’s kingdom on earth, 

the non-tangible empowering.  

I snuggle up to what faith develops 

as it exposes the true Vine 

to Your domain, 

Your work in me 

that produces absolute and complete satisfaction 

in my being.  

I am astounded my sweet Lord…!

Screaming Frantically Busy

Screaming, 

frantically busy, 

circling myself with the same thoughts 

and questioning my priorities; 

physically and mentally unable 

to sort through all this traffic.  

~

I plead for something

 or somewhere 

to come so that I can rest 

in wisdom’s safe whispers.  

Longing for a song 

that holds a fascinating note 

for such a long time, 

it captures all my attention 

and I stay my ear upon its lift.  

Only to take my eyes off its colorful strength 

to look about me 

that I might share what I hear with another.   

So hungry for this mystery of peace 

that I confidently spend all I've got 

to find it.  

For I heard, 

I heard Word say 

that I follow into the keeping 

of the power of His life 

that guards me from temptations.   

I reach in, 

to the decision 

to lean toward my fight against temptations, 

as my heart surrenders 

to love that harmonizes with each pitch 

of the song it sings over me.   

For I sleep with eyes wide open 

in regret; 

so sweet Jesus I pray Your Prayer, 

I enter not into temptation 

 and plead I be delivered 

from the evil one.  

Identifying with Word’s prayer 

in the garden, 

as He requested His followers 

to not sleep, 

not grow weary, 

not forget the hour is of high importance, 

pray 

that I not enter into temptations.  

Lord, keep me; 

keep me and my children 
high above the enemy’s reach 

and safely fixed on You.  

The exuberance of one look, 

catching a sketch 

of a Jesus concept, 

a pattern of walking with Father guidelines; 

guides me through 

tremendously threatening smoke of my enemy.  

Find me asking Poppa, 

find me praying, 

“lead me not into temptation, 

but deliver me, my children, 
my family and friends
from the evil one…!”

For Jesus' last teaching before being

taken by those Father had set to 

fulfill His death and cross...

"Watch and pray,

lest you enter into temptation."